Hi! I just wanted to say hi. I haven’t been involved in many conversations on CC for the last few years, but it’s time to jump in again because I will need some support with D23.
My D23 is the youngest of four. She is very bright, probably the brightest of all my kids (including the one who got a full-tuition scholarship)…. but she never hands things in on time and she often forgets when tests are scheduled. We have a working dx of ADHD but no educational plan; her private school does not do 504 plans.
I have no idea what her unweighted gpa since her school only records weighted, with class grades on a numerical scale. It also uses an atypical grading scale: 93 and up A, 85-92 B, 77-84 C, etc., so the weighted system becomes very helpful for kids taking rigorous classes. She has taken rigorous classes but next year that will be adjusted because she will not be able to manage math and science AP classes. Her grades tend to split between A’s or nearly A’s and C’s, and not much in between.
We don’t have test scores yet either but I guess she would get at least 1200 with higher reading scores and lower math.
She would really do best at a small private college, but our upper limit for college costs is around what a state school would cost.
Meanwhile, a few of our state schools are offering free tuition so that might be the best option financially if we can keep our AGI low enough. My D20 gets almost free tuition because of a program like that but I don’t know if that would be a good fit for D23, as tempting as it is.
I’m just in a gloomy place right now because the last year has been so hard on her and it’s hard to predict how she will do in the future. If I can try to articulate the perfect college for her, I would say gentle and nurturing with deep discounts where she could play drums and attend a Catholic student club.
This year was tough on so many kids. Our D23 also has mild ADHD, diagnosed at the start of the pandemic. She managed fairly well freshman year, but really struggled online all year because she’s such a social kid. I know small schools fairly well because our D21 was looking only at LAC’s, so I know there are a number of terrific, small schools that will offer merit for most accepted students, so I think you’ll be able to find some true gems. We live in the midwest, so I’m thinking of places like Knox, Beloit (which has a flagship match program for several midwest states) and Lawrence.
Unfortunately our D23 wants a big school, and she’s very different than her big sister, so this search will be a whole new ballgame. Look forward to figuring it out and helping each other as we go.
What junior year courses is your “average” kid taking?
After years of accelerated english and science, we are letting him drop to regular and didn’t push AP. Yes, I know this reduces rigor and colleges may view this as negative. But we are hoping this renews his spirit and he puts effort in.
Same with math, Precalc just about killed him this year (and me too). He has chosen to not go into STEM so I was done nagging. Hes taking a tech college level math which they say is a great review for ACT. He hasnt taken many of those concepts since middle school so I think this is a good choice.
He was very excited about one of the college credit electives he was going to take but GC just informed us it clashes with music and that he wont give up his music courses. Hes taking a study hall for one semester for the first time in hs.
The only AP class he is taking is AP Music Theory. Hes taking band, choir, and spanish as electives. His history credits are being taken in online summer school.
Got his license and a car. He quit his job only to agree to go back one day a week for 4 hours for cash at the same place a month later. Im fine with his decision. It gets him gas and fun money yet doesn’t abuse him either.
Summer is football and marching band camp and summer school class.
As a recap from getting my D23 vaccinated, she did it. No problems at all.
She finished this year out strong with a 3.5 GPA. She will get her drivers license this Friday and starts a new job today at a cute little bakery down the street. Hoping her Jr year will be back to somewhat normal. I believe they will still require the kids to wear masks at least in the beginning. My D20 will be moving to Charlotte in August to attend UNC Charlotte, she stayed home this past year and did online classes so she’s excited to get back to campus. Hope all is well with everyone.
@MACmiracle I highly recommend you check out Xavier University, a Catholic school in Cincinnati. S21 did not have high stats - he is a 3.4 gpa kid with only a couple of honors classes and no APs. He has a learning disability so does not test well. Xavier, and many other Catholic universities, are test optional, and were even prior to Covid. He got significant merit, and lots of grants, bringing his COA down to that of our in-state publics (we live in MD). They are very well known for their nurturing environment. All students are provided with an academic advisor as well as a separate “success” coach.
Though my son will only be a freshman so I don’t have any direct experience yet, we have been very impressed with all the school communication and outreach so far. My husband has two colleagues whose kids will be seniors at Xavier this year (one from MD also and the other is from Chicago). They have had nothing but great things to say about their kids’ experience.
Additionally, most of S21’s college search was focused on Catholic schools and he received merit and grants at all of them (we have two kids in college this year). Others he applied to and got into were Loyola in Baltimore, St. joseph’s in Philly and Dayton in OH. He was waitlisted at Fairfield. He also got into a few other non-Catholic schools.
My junior is not taking any APs this year besides Macroeconomics (one semester, easy teacher). I don’t think he’s taking any Honors classes either. He took two honors last year and got a D in one and maybe a C in the other. He’s capable of higher level classes intrinsically, but with covid and lack of self motivation and effort, not capable or willing to put the effort in to get the grades. I’ve resigned myself to it, and surely As and Bs in regular classes is much better than Ds and Cs in Honors.
I figure I have to work with what we have here, but it’s hard to reconcile. He is probably the brightest of my 3 kids but has never liked school, and now that classes are hard enough to require work outside the classroom, his grades are Cs and Ds.
The whole “rigor” things freaks me out with regards to admissions. My D23 is taking her first honors class-psychology-next year. She’s dyslexic/dyscalcic so she’s never steered toward the upper level classes. I think, despite the dyslexia she would do fine in English and History classes as she’s straight a’s in the lower level humanities classes now. I’m sure they would be harder for her but I think she could do it. But her math is so problematic and what we’ve found is that we can’t break her out of the class with an aide for for english/history but still keep the easier level for math. I think psychology worked out out because it is an elective and runs in a different block. It’s a big high school, lots of moving parts. Anyway-I worry that her lack of rigor will make her A/B grades read more like C’s and beyond? Or that the lack of honors will just make admissions a non-starter for some of the nicer B schools that I think she would like. I guess we’ll find out!
@4kids4us Thank you for the suggestion. Xavier is not something I have thought of but it might actually suit her very well. I’m definitely going to look into it more. I appreciate all the detail you included.
Our D23 is taking one AP class, too, as far as I know (Computer Science–the easier one). She’s in honors classes, but a lot of kids in her school take many, many APs as well, so I have no idea how her schedule will be perceived. I mean, it’s not as if APs aren’t available, just that she’s not taking them! She got an ADHD diagnosis at the end of 9th grade, and it took a long time to figure out how to manage it, especially since school was online all year. She’s extremely social, so working alone was pretty terrible for her. Tough to tell if the issue was ADHD, remote learning, mental health, or just that she didn’t particularly care (very possible!). Probably some combination. Her teachers were really flexible with deadlines and bent over backwards to support her, but she didn’t manage her work load well, and her grades ended up… fine. I’ll be curious to see how she does this year, when she’s back in person.
@MACmiracle second the recommendation of Xavier. Was a top choice for my son. Though he ultimately chose differently, we were also really impressed with the approach of Xavier. My son with a 2.7 was accepted with merit.
Another financial incentive? They cover the cost of all books. Those are the expenses we don’t consider sometimes and it can add up.
My D23 is taking a couple of honors classes this year. No AP and plans to take a couple of college classes at our local community college during her senior year. My D20 took only 1 AP class all through high school. I wish I had started her at the local community college during her senior year. D23 has not taken the SAT, she took the pre-ACT last year and still waiting on the results. My D20 did not take SAT until Spring of Junior year so that’s our plan as well. No pressure as she has already decided that if she doesn’t score high enough that she would be ok going to community college for the first 2 years.
What are some of those schools you think your D23 would like? My S21 who has ADHD, dysgraphia, slow processing speed, likely discalculia only took one AP class in high school. He targeted CTCL schools (and 2 that were similar to those but not actually CTCL schools) and was accepted to all of them - I think there are great schools out there that will be a match for your D.
My D sounds so similar but her grades were not all that fine. The frequent gap between math & science vs. English & foreign language became intensified. It was either As or Cs. She could not take the PSAT due to remote learning first quarter which was so frustrating. No APs this year, but she will be starting a new science course sequence for kids who were accelerated but not interested in the AP sciences. I hope that sparks some interest.
I should be grateful that she was in person most of the year but without the usual extracurriculars and social environment, she really struggled, and I didn’t realize until recently how very much. Even more than academics and the EF problems, I am concerned about how her mental health will hold up this year. Since all my kids attended the same school, I have heard of many kids who ended up having mental health crises junior year. At least we are a little ahead of the game by choosing less rigorous classes. It goes again the grain here on CC, but I just think if she is under too much stress so her mental health suffers, everything will suffer.
Taking 1 AP courses this year and it’s only Music Theory. He took some “honors” courses first 2 years (we call them accelerated). We let him drop them this year to try to raise the GPA. Taking the chance and accepting “less rigorous” and letting him keep up the ECs he loves (band, choir, 2 additional choirs, musical, football, track, skiing, voice and piano lessons plus working a job).
I am such a fan of the CTCL schools and LACs in general. I wish D would consider smaller schools because of the smaller class sizes and supports, as well as the merit opportunities. She’s looking for big, rah rah, football schools. We have a preliminary list that would fit her socially, where she seems to be in the range for admissions, but I will need a lot of input to understand if any of those places are the right academic fit for a kid like her.
For schools that I worry my d23’s classes aren’t “rigorous” enough…I think she would like Ithaca, Loyola (MD), Goucher, and Clark, Simmons in Boston. I think she’d really flourish in one of those schools. I know she’ll end up somewhere fine but…I do worry. She’s an only child so we’ll only do this college application thing once. So I really do appreciate all the advice from people who already been through it.
Clark is one of the schools my S21 (1 AP class in high school) was accepted to - he demonstrated a fair amount of interest by interviewing (virtually), writing a good/specific “Why Clark” essay, and attending multiple virtual info sessions, so that might be something to consider making a part of the application process at any of those schools.
For fun (and to take a break from my own work), I entered in my kids info to CollegeVine. So far, most of the schools on “our” list (he hasn’t personally named any colleges yet, just made some comments about what he may prefer), seem to be academic safeties or targets (still have to run the NPC). But it was nice to know he may have some options.
