As a mom, I am going to post my kids final decision. I will then post the other places they considered. If my kid wants to do a huge announcement then I would support that.
Unless a parent is kid is literally posting “I got in and you didn’t” type announcements, I don’t see how social media annoucements should be restricted. Kids need to build resilience and be taught how to deal with feelings of jealousy.
sorry, I don’t agree with this. there is a difference between posting the ED acceptance or final decision, and flaunting it. And posting anything when you know there are some devastated kids out there, I just don’t know.
what’s the reason for posting the other places they considered anyway?
Actually, they do, though they’re limited in number, and I know students from both my kid’s HS classes that received one of them.
https://catalog.uoregon.edu/admissiontograduation/aidscholarships/
You do you.
It’s interesting to note that my suggestion to consider the impact of social media in high pressure school systems became conflated with some sort of restriction.
I’ve seen enough suicides in our high school population to be sensitive to the need for such reasonable consideration. They don’t need to toughen up any more.
Oregon St has WUE and a Provost Scholarship. It is roughly $33k all in (tuition plus room and board) with WUE and $38k with Provost. WUE is only granted for about 10% of OOS but Provost seems to include more students.
My (California) kid also ended up submitting more apps then I would’ve expected - but my only ask was to be sure to have one affordable true safety - once that admission came back I stepped back. Even with 8 instate applications there’s a chance that he could be looking at that early OOS admit as the most viable (affordable) option as he’s put in a larger number of reach OOS apps.
I 100% agree that suicides in this age group are staggering and so, so sad. I 100% agree that bullying is out of control and needs to be properly dealt with.
The point is, there is no formal line between informational and typical celebratory versus “flaunting” in my opinion. It is all subjective. I truly think if kids are openly talking about college decisions that kids find out anyways. Now if a kid is sending individual messages to other kids, that isn’t right. But I don’t see the harm in a kid being excited and making a public post/instagram/tik tok about it. I think its awful that we are basically telling kids they don’t have the right to be excited about their futures because posting their acceptances may make another kid sad.
If your kid really, really wanted to get into a certain school and was rejected, of course they are going to feel sad when someone they know did get in. I would rather teach my kid to not follow people on social media if they weren’t friendly enough to be happy for that other person no matter what.
Honestly, what is an example of a “flaunting” and “over the top” acceptance post? I guess I have never really seen one. How are college acceptance posts different than not making the team or not getting the part in the musical you wanted? Or not winning first at the chess tournament?
My oldest son struggled with learning disabilities and he simply did not have the options that so many other kids had. Instead to telling kids or friends not to post, we as a family showed excitement for the options he had and told him no matter what that he was never “second best.” Im very open on this forum about how the less than 3.5 gpa kids will still have tons of college options.
It may be odd but I compare this to going through infertility. I knew my limits of what I could emotionally handle and limited who I followed. I would have never told someone else to not post an over the top celebration about a positive pregnancy test or not to post an “obnoxious” gender reveal simply because I was getting negative tests every month for years.
I openly posted on my personal social media about my oldest sons post grad choices. I had a handful of parents so thankful that I shared because they weren’t aware of those options. Same with my S23s acceptances. I keep my social media pretty controlled and I know that I have people there who want to learn about different schools.
that sounds like a pretty different situation than the social media stuff we are uncomfortable with and I would likely have no problem with your posts and would probably feel really happy for you and your kid.
Our school still recommends the traditional 3-4 likelies (of which one should be a true safely like our state flagship), 3-4 targets and 3-4 reaches. We are following that - if the ED doesn’t come through he will end up applying to 13 schools. Though the line between targets and reaches for RD is pretty blurred.
If mid December is what the website posted, you could go on the CC thread for that school and ask. Usually someone on there knows when they released last year.
You could also google it. Other sites sometimes post this info.
You can google release dates for last few years and try to figure it out. Northwestern says mid-December but given their history my prediction is Dec 16 (corresponds to the fri dec 17 they did last year). Also many schools seem to announce the real date a week or so ahead of time.
My kids public school does that as well. They have a map graphic that lists who is doing what inside the state and outside of it. It is kind of nice because you see a few kids go to elite colleges, most stay in state and several don’t have college plans. It normalizes things but allows others to see that “someone” got into Harvard etc so I might too.
Our private day school out West (not California) suggests the same: 3-4 reaches, 3-4 matches, 3-4 safeties, and 1 true financial safety is very strongly suggested, which is usually one of our in state public options.
Who is telling kids such a thing? I don’t see that at all in the post to which you are responding.
Speaking only for myself, I know I was specfically thinking about the trend someone described of kids bedecking themselves in school gear upon acceptance and having a party for the 'gram. I would definitely consider that insensitive in our area, and I know I wouldn’t be alone. Our high school no longer even officially publishes destinations at years end. I’m ok with that. In our area, college acceptances are very, very different from not making the team or getting a part in the musical. They are imbued with so much more importance, for a larger cohort of kids going through it all at the same time. Obviously, the situation may not be quite so fraught elsewhere. But here we all are on College Confidential, not FootballTeam Confidential or Drama Confidential, so I feel like there may be others who’ve experienced that categorical difference.
(And just to get ahead of things- no, I’m not denouncing parties, celebrations, any excitement for the future 
I’m not telling anyone what to do. I’m telling you what I think is reasonable, not trying to trample on anyone’s freedoms.)
I apologize- thank you.
I agree with you about resilience and your comparison to infertility is spot on. If a kid is going to feel depressed/ demoralized/ more about not getting into a school and someone else getting in, they should have received better guidance about their college apps, be getting mental health support and should stay off social media. And “flaunting” is in the eye of the beholder, 100%.
Right? Its odd to me that wearing a college sweatshirt or posting on social media about post graduation plans is considered insensitive. But I know my kids dont go to a competitive high school and all post grad paths are discussed more openly. “Whats your kid doing after graduation?” is a more common question here than “what college are you going to?” Theres likely only a handul of kids who even apply to more selective schools to be honest.
Even our adult friends group here has a wide range of jobs and post high school paths.
The rat race and keeping up with the Jones just isnt our style.
My kids DO go to a competitive school and it’s been a competitive environment for them for years and the kids alllllll know roughly where everyone is in the class. Hearing someone got into X University or so-and-so is applying to Y State or Z Ivy doesn’t seem to be shocking to anyone.
Was it Facebook - or their GoFundme page? 
You can google the school’s Common Data Set, in it will be listed the “notification date” for ED, RD, etc. (Just open the CDS, and hit “find” in your browser, and then type “notification date” to find it quickly.)
I say this as someone whose kiddo also applied to a “Mid-December” notification school, and just looked at the last 5 years of their CDS reports and found out that each one lists December 20th as the ED notification date 
Note: they might notify earlier than that, and they’ll send an email if they do. But what’s in their CDS is their official date.