S23 started his last semester today. He was excited to go back to school…but I think he was even happier about just enjoying this last part of his senior year without having to deal with college stuff and relax a bit.
Also, on a whim he decided to try out for the volleyball team this week (he’s tall and a good jumper).
@socalmom007 I don’t think anyone is judging someone for choosing to pay full price for any school they choose. If you have the money to spend and want to spend it like that - go for it! 
Personally, I don’t care how other people spend their money…unless and until they ask for feedback/advice.
As I said above, we personally would not pay full price for any school…but also wouldn’t send our children to Alabama full ride (not a good fit for any of them). Not everyone holds Stanford, Harvard, Yale and other schools of that caliber on some pedestal that makes them think they are worth the premium…and I say that as someone who went to schools at that level, married to someone else who did as well (and we both loved our experiences and have nothing but positives to say about our schools). We are making the choices we make with full knowledge of the choice involved.
If other people think those schools are worth the premium, well as I’ve said before - there’s a cover for every pot. I think it is good for families and students on CC to see that there isn’t universal agreement on how to choose a college, what colleges are worth paying for, what a budget can/should be for college, etc. etc. etc.
The only ‘judgement’ I’ve seen at all is on families who seem to not have thought this through before Jan-April of a student’s senior year and then ask for advice and input while they vacillate of whether they actually do want to spend full price for a specific school. And the judgment is often less, “No school is ever worth it FULL STOP” and more like “Why didn’t you figure out your answer to this before applications? Or while you were waiting for answers? Or, if you think some schools are worth the price…why are you publicly asking for validation/support of your individual choice?”
And I think these questions have less to do with spending the money if you have it, and more about this being stressful for students and parents both…and leaving one of the most stressful decisions to be made at the end of the process when you have both a time crunch and the most stress makes this time more difficult for everyone involved, the student most importantly*. If anything, the ‘judgement’ is about the procrastination on decision making - not the decision made ultimately.
*If the choice of spending 80k+ a year vs a full ride or close to it isn’t stressful in your household, obviously this doesn’t apply. Though, if it isn’t stressful, I would assume the decision was made prior to applications being sent out and there wouldn’t be second guesses about whether the full price school was ‘worth it’ once all decisions are in.
I think the assumption that anyone who is full pay is rich, is false. We are full pay at every school. We stopped filling out fafsa after our first two kids because we do not qualify for a dime, yet our money is not unlimited.
There is the question of merit aide too. Our child did apply to one 80k a year school. He may or may not be accepted. He may or may not get merit aide. He may or may not have his dual credit accepted and be able to finish undergrad in two or three years. These are all variables in our decision making process we just don’t have answers to yet.
Yes, this happens all the time. In my family (one for Alabama itself over Duke among others, one for Georgia over Vanderbilt and Cornell among others, and one a land-grant midwest college less well known than either over Williams, his dream school) and among other people I know personally-- and I know very few people! It is common to turn down Top 20 schools, sometimes for public schools that are not UCs.
That said, certainly families who have that kind of money can spend it however they like. Getting to consider “fit” as a main criterion in college selection is a luxury. In our family situation, we can’t put it at the top to choose, but it is in our mix in deciding and choosing where to apply.
Most families neither have enough to pay full price (which is currently more than the median US household income per year) NOR do they qualify for massive financial need,aespecially at CSS schools which like to see their “low income” families be very low income with no assets and dislike any abnormal financial situation.
So this is really a question for a very, very small number of people for whom that sort of money wouldn’t be missed very much. If it is doable and what your family wants, then do it!
But please do realize, many people, even those with other excellent choices, do indeed opt for Bama full-rides. I did back before it was fashionable, and it didn’t stop my winning an extremely prestigious post-graduate scholarship to England afterwards in direct competition with people who went to Ivy League+ schools.
Our D23 didn’t get as much merit from her top choice as we’d hoped. She’s about 6k short per year. But the school is probably an exceptionally good fit for her. It’s tough when for our family the difference is so “little” but also seems so big when taking into account the total COA for 4 years.
Right now I’m digging deeper and trying to figure out how likely she would be able to finish in 4 years at each of her schools. As this could also play a role in the total cost in the end.
Sorry I was talking about Harvard / Stanford / Princeton type level. The very top schools give need aid to people with crazy incomes. I was mentioning those two as you noted them specifically.
But yes many schools people with lower incomes are full pay. If it were me and I can only speak for me and it’s a full ride vs $350k vs free or $270k as was the example given, it’s a no brainer and I would suspect but don’t know - that more of these families go for the $$ than the pedigree. Otherwise they might undermine their standard of living.
But I’m guessing the cross application between Harvard and a Bama or similar is not high.
That said, my daughters neighbor and friend at school chose College of Charleston over Rice, Vandy and Penn and C of C has less of a pedigree/exposure than Bama. My daughter chose it over W&L (full pay) amongst others. A person I call on in my job went to Michigan State, he claims over Stanford. I do think this happens all the time.
Anyway in the end it’s a personal call and I think for that we can all agree.
Funny, I personally know two people who turned down Harvard for Bama, but that was in the 1990s. I also personally know one who turned down Stanford for Georgia, and that was recently.
It seems that at least twice a year on CC there are entire threads devoted to whether or not it’s “worth it” to pay more money for the more prestigious college or take the cheaper option. It’s is a regular topic of debate, and often you will see questions about two specific college choices when RD decisions roll around in the spring. It might be helpful to go back and read through some of those threads. There are always plenty of comments for and against.
This thread asking if parents regretted being full pay is also interesting:
Well.
I tend to doubt that those who have regrets are gonna admit to them.
It’s kind of like my in laws, who just bought a Cadillac for cash a month ago and have had nothing but problems with it (the engine has literally stopped running a couple of times on the road, and not started one other time). The wife is furious. The husband keeps making excuses why the car is still fine. Some folks will resist admitting they have a lemon, because maybe they think it reflects badly on their decision-making process.
All that said, families can do whatever they want with their money. This is why there are Cadillacs and Kias!
Would I turn down Harvard at full pay for Bama full ride? Yes, but we are painfully price conscious.
If we had no financial worries at all, we probably would spring for the Ivy. But I doubt there are tons of those kinds of families out there. If there’s money for Harvard, they’re likely not even applying to Bama.
The interesting thing about the value of a particular school over another is that you’re essentially making a bet and you never really know what the alternative would have brought.
If the $70K or whatever per year is a non-negligible sum for you (which it is almost everyone), then at some level you believe it is buying you (through your child) something of an equal value. And since it’s objectively a fact that kids find success, and friendship and love at just about every school in the country, then what you are really buying is an increase in probability that going to the more expensive school will bring your child more of the thing you/they value (financial success, amazing experiences, friends, opportunities, etc).
I think this is rational, the trouble is quantifying the increase in probability. It’s really difficult and completely dependent on the kid in question. I read a study that followed kids who were accepted to Ivy league schools but chose less expensive schools with full rides and compared them to their Ivy league cohorts, and 5 years after graduation there wasn’t much difference in their salary levels (or grad school success). Which suggests it’s the students who make the difference and not the school.
On the flip side, I read a good essay by a kid from a poor family who got a lot of need based aid to Harvard and he talked about the contacts he made (like having lunch with a Fortune 500 CEO once a month because he was friends with CEO’s kid). Even if his financial aid wasn’t there, for a kid who’s family has no connections that sort of networking is invaluable. So he was very passionate about the opportunities a Harvard will give you over a state school with a full ride.
So there are a lot of input variables, and you will never really get to weigh the alternative in a real way. It’s a tough call.
I probably should have phrased things more as an “I” statement, instead of a “you” statement. I deliberately chose not to reply to any particular poster with that last post b/c I didn’t want to make assumptions about someone’s thinking, but I think I could have been clearer in stating that this is how I look at trade-offs.
If it’s a question of finances, and if the parents are the ones paying, then the parents make the financial decisions and not the kid.
Yeah, it’s the kid’s college education, but I see no reason for a parent to trust their assets to the whims of their child quite so blindly as that.
Yes.
Full stop, no qualifications.
For our family it’s a comparison of fit and return on investment. If my child (stem student who wants to stay close to home in the L.A. area at a big research university) gets in to UCLA (he won’t), he will 100% go. If he gets into UCSB, UC Irvine, or UCSD he’d probably go. USC is the dark horse. If he gets in, it’s a reach, it would be hard to pass up even at the price tag. The fit and location would be so good. What if they gave him some merit? More complicated. As we move down the list, what if he gets into UC Davis or Cal Poly slo? Would they be worth full price to be closer to home or should he take the full ride at Alabama? If his best choices in state are UC Santa Cruz or UC Merced, no, I’m not willing to spend 150k for those schools. He would take Alabama. We can’t count of anything is California truthfully. I know valedictorians who’ve been shut out the last two years. Our list was constructed to make sure he had viable options in any eventuality. So far, we’re pretty happy with his options without any California schools in yet. We feel blessed to have that full ride in the back pocket, even though he might not take it.
So Cali schools are not on my radar and I usually read right by because it may as well be the moon. How much is in-state that you’re saying you wouldn’t spend $150k for some of them. Is it $35k+ a year? For some reason I though in-state prices were better in Cali?
D23 is waiting for two of her acceptances to send merit award information. One of them probably won’t get to our budget (big merit reach for D23), and we were very upfront that while that school has potential to come in at budget, if it didn’t it was an absolute no-go.
I guess our family is like @ProfSD’s with being painfully cost conscious. Once we make a considered choice as to our budget…we don’t go back and second guess it. We set our college budget when D20 was in 8th grade. It remains the same today.
We made this clear with the decision D20 and D23 had with college applications. We were more than happy for them to apply to schools with low probability of necessary merit if the child was willing to get a yes from a school that would be a definite no if the money didn’t work.
D20 decided not to apply to her first “top choice” because she didn’t want to get a yes that was actually most likely going to be a no. D23 was happy to roll those dice ultimately; she actually said she would be happy going to any of the 4 she ultimately applied to, even if she only got accepted to one (she got in at all 4). Different kids with different outlooks and needs.
It is. UCs are 35 to 40k in state cost of attendance. I think we’re one of the most expensive for in state tuition.
As @ProfSD said, there are bazillions of these threads floating around CC over the years. Here’s another example:
Illinois and Pennsylvania is right up there with expensive in-state costs. Right around $40k for Illinois flagship.