We just went down to Alabama at the start of March for a 1 day speed tour. I would really like to hear more opinions of its size from your visits. I am an alumna, but it is three times the size now as when I attended, and more importantly, my son is not the same personality or type of student, so I have concerns for him.
I will say, I love my alma mater deeply and think it is a great opportunity and well run! I would just like some perceptions about the new larger size of it.
Y’all are going at a beautiful time of year!
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I’m not going - hubby is. I get New Orleans, however!
Son wanted a city, right off the bat. Bama was a mama app request. There’s gonna have to be a lot more than 38,000 students before he starts feeling like it’s hitting the right notes, I fear.
I hold out hope, however.
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My son goes and I ask him about that. He’s in engineering so it may be major dependent - but he only uses a small portion of the campus.
Others say this about Va Tech - that while it’s huge, what you use is a small chunk.
So you might found out from kids - especially in his major - what % of the school do they regularly utilize.
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Thanks for the input! It is very helpful.
My concerns aren’t really about the size re: physical campus so much as the large number of students and the lower likelihood of not falling through the cracks. S23 has potential to fall into cracks for sure, and he is not in any special programs besides the general Honors Program. He will graduate from high school in a class of 17 people. Prior to a few years ago, he was homeschooled, so it would be a big change. I’m not sure he is ready to advocate for himself in a place of that size.
The other top two choices right now have him in special small, selective programs/majors with mentoring. They also are places with fewer students, but he didn’t win the larger merit there, so I think he is feeling like Bama would be his best choice for financial reasons. He liked his visit okay, but he definitely felt more anonymous there, and though the students we met with were all awesome, two of the four adult meetings were not reassuring, so he is conflicted. He has been a football fan since before birth, so that is taken care of!
He really wanted Baylor to give him more merit, but that’s how it is. I think it will come down to Baylor or Bama.
I’m interested to hear more impressions as people visit! And again, can’t reiterate enough, I love Bama. My tv room is Bama themed with those large framed football prints. I have a football signed by Bart Starr and others! I think that is why I need some more outsider perspectives.
My vote is for Baylor. We are going to be paying extra for a better fit for our child too. It can be a gamble but I’d rather the first choice the best chance at success for our daughter. The consequences of it not working out from the getgo are not worth it to us if we can avoid them. Plus the financial costs could be greater in the long run either by having to throw money at coping strategies or spending more time in school due to having to transfer. Or not completing college at all.
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My D19 also graduated from a tiny school, and when I remember back to that shy 17-year-old girl, I also was convinced she couldn’t advocate for herself, especially not at her big state flagship. The summer before, I remember her fighting me tooth and nail when I would tell her she needed to call someone - not text - to set up an appointment. She was scared of adulting.
Since then she has done so much growing. The one thing I demanded as a helicopter mom (and I didn’t do anything other than this) was that she go to profs’ office hours without fail in her first semester, whether she had a question or not. And she did, and I believe it helped her with her confidence.
The difference between that girl and the graduating senior who just got back from the USITT convention in St. Louis and is now fielding multiple possible job offers in her field is … it’s glorious.
In between, she took a semester off for mental health, she dealt with her share of relationship trauma, she dealt with all that Covid entailed, she almost flunked a class (but was saved by having gone to office hours, and the prof knew who she was and gave her help), she got herself registered for class every semester and actually made it there regularly, and is graduating on time, she figured out apartment leases and jobs and scheduling and she’s stage managed plays and musicals and she’s a TA this semester.
We have to let 'em fly, even when we don’t think they can do it. If they fall, they know we’re there.
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Love this! For our daughter just making it through today and then tomorrow then soon going away to her best fit college IS the biggest challenge she prays she can handle right now. Just the basics.
It’s going to be glorious indeed when she finds her way.
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From orientation on, we’ve been impressed by the administration. For a place so large, things get handled quickly. The place seems to run really efficiently. Much moreso than most companies.
That said and I would assume this is the case at Baylor or even smaller schools - these are adults now. Everything is there from advising to research to you name it - honors activities and more. Emails galore come with access to all this. But no one is tapping you on the arm and saying come this way.
So you definitely need to reach out and grab their outstretched hand if you want access to support and opportunities. But that’s the same as at my daughters smaller school and I assume others.
I know you say other smaller majors provide mentoring. I wonder if they really do or say they do…ie marketing for admission purposes.
I do know, for example, my sons gf major took them to a conference in Chicago and they all lined up internships…but that’s a one time thing and not an ongoing thing.
Good luck whatever you choose. Hopefully you find the right school but that does mean an affordable one too.
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I feel like this is closer to S23 as well. He is a high stats kid. In a certain light, I could see him really thriving in college. On paper, it looks that way. But closer up over the last four years, things look different. His just graduating from college would be a victory in my book, which is what most the other adults in his life think as well, which is saying something because his biological father and I met after winning a big national award and while we were accepting very large international awards. We worked with the assumption both children would be excellent students who would thrive in school.
D17 was shy and stepped up slowly with success at college and graduate school, so I understand the point being made about letting them fly. I really do. Before I had a child with mental health concerns, I thought that way mostly, but in my family, addiction and mental health challenges are real for some members through the generations (though not for me.) I have a smart sibling over 50 years old with substance abuse and other mental health issues living in my mom’s basement. He also went off to college with a dream, but he didn’t manage to pull it together, failed out, failed out of the second attempt at community college, and never has managed to pull it together despite help and support.
It can be very complicated. In the end, my son is an adult and will make the decision about college (I am not paying at all) and in the end, he is responsible for making his way in life. Still, I also know it is true that some kids do not make it, even ones that are smart and whose parents did “the right things” so to speak. I’ve known too many who don’t recover from young adult spirals into trouble to assume they will all “step up” when asked. He might, but he might not. It makes advising him on a college very different from D17.
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This is how we feel about our S23 also! I absolutely relate.
I hear you on this. My biggest advice is to listen to your gut.
I have 3 very different kids and if the decision was left up to me, I would not chose to have 2 of them go away to college. I was ignored and unfortunately it did not go well. The 3rd one is complete different situation and even looked mostly OOS. Waiting a year or starting at community college can be best sometimes to gain maturity, confidence, executive functioning, etc. Just depends on the kid and situation. But as a mother, you know your kid the best. Listen to yourself and don’t pay attention to others questioning your reasons/decision.
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I agree with this. My oldest wasn’t ready to go be on his own. I knew it, but I tried not to push. He decided to do two years at a CC and it was absolutely the best decision. He’s doing great now as a college graduate with a career. My daughter two years later, I had no such concerns. I knew she would figure it out and she did. With S23, he’s willing to listen to our opinions, but I trust his judgement. He’s ready to branch out and go after it academically, even though he’s an introvert. Trust your judgment and advise your kids accordingly.
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I recognize a lot of the issues we are facing in these remarks about other families’ situations, and I appreciate it. Sometimes it seems on College Confidential that everyone else’s children are just sailing along excited about the future and doing great, which can be depressing when that is not our situation. Some weeks go fine; many do not.
My husband and I have talked about a gap year or such, but for S23, this would almost certainly mean never going to college and would cause greater mental stress as it would be seen as a “failure” by him. Everyone he knows goes to college. I would love him to study a trade, but he has no interest. CC isn’t an option because we live in a rural town an hour from the closest CC on country roads and more to the point, we will be putting the house on the market immediately after his graduation to move to another state where my husband already works. S23 could do CC in that area, but he would know not a soul his age, and with my husband’s career, we have a serious chance of not being there next year or the year after etc. S23 would also see it as a failure. He is a top student at his school where all the students will be at four-year colleges next year. In sum, his best chance of stability and feeling success would be to go to a four year college next year and stay there. That would be the longest he got to live anywhere since sixth grade.
We thought the perfect solution was a small LAC an hour from our new city and near many grandparents, where he already has some friends attending and has been accepted into some small academic program groups (10-24 per grade) that would make for immediate community. Unfortunately, he didn’t really like it because it was “too much of the same” like his high school and the LACs where my husband has worked. My gut says it would be best choice for him, but he doesn’t see it.
My gut even more strongly says that I need to react with confidence and support whichever school he does choose to get him excited and focused. I want him to chose a school that he has any excitement about at all, as that is his best chance of success, whether it is at Baylor or Bama. To answer another earlier question, he is accepted to a named special major/program at Baylor that has three specific faculty advisors and activities together. It had a 2% acceptance rate, and I definitely got the impression it was more than just advertising talk. Importantly, it waives much of the required core (S23 doesn’t have APs at his school or opportunities for DE so this is very helpful).
I really hope everyone is getting good news this week! I didn’t mean to complain on here. I just sometimes I feel like it’s difficult to say on CC that despite all efforts, a child isn’t always excited about college, or life, and can’t always choose based on price or adjust to different types of schools. At the same time, there is no way to predict the future. I waiver day to day on how it might all turn out for him.
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Best of luck to you and your son. I so appreciate your candor and honesty. I totally get what you mean about the vibe here on CC. It was a bit “refreshing” to read the replies to your post and know that there are many struggling parents (and kids) just trying to find a path that will lead to independence and happiness. At the end of the day, that’s really what we want for our kids. 
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It’s so comforting to hear you share your story. I can relate and wish for the very best outcome for your son.
Not trying to one up you but how’s this for a likely CC first? Our daughter is just barely going to graduate from high school (it’s complicated - due to total credits not GPA)! So if we have to pay a little extra to significantly increase her chances of success in college then we are going to do it! We can afford it - it just means sacrificing some fun more trivial luxuries in everyday life. 100% worth it!
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Several schools that my daughter applied to have not announced decision dates, yet their admissions instagrams are posting pictures of pretty trees on campus or cutesy videos of admissions staff. Nobody wants this. Either give me a date or leave me alone.
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My GUESS…keep in mind I have zero reason for this 
…is that it’s mostly administrative at that point. I would imagine that they need time to get all the moving parts in order to hit “go” on the decisions. OTOH, I have worked at big organizations and seen some very last-minute things go down.
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Ditto. And if you sent us an FA award that is light years away from meeting our need, so high as to make it impossible, then don’t mail us stuff about how great it is there. 
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Aren’t the schools annoyed that their phones must be ringing off the hook with applicants wanting to know the date. Thinking of those poor undergrads in the admissions office who have to answer the phone 47,000 a day with no answer. Just say a date. Any date. Makes it easier on everyone.
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Is it a meets 100% of need school?