My kid is one who has had a hard time finding his people in high school. He goes to a very small school, he is an extreme introvert and a mediocre athlete. There are definitely other smart kids, but he’s really the only hardcore stem kid. I look forward to him being able to find kids to have deep conversations with about black holes and the origins of the universe. He’s really not into pondering Wordsworth… you know?
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Sort of curious as to how admissions thinks…we need ONE more kid!
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OMG!
If it is me I wouldn’t want to go to any of these colleges!
I would totally go to a party school and have fun and come out with material to write my book!
But kid is not like me! Hope she will learn soon that living a balanced life where you are optimally challenged is way more better than going for schools with big names.
I’m writing a book, too! About one school, 23 said it was the school for me because they have a gorgeous building near the water. 23 said I could attend and write there. 
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Lovely!
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All results are now in for S23!
Accepted: UCSD, UCSB, UCD, UCI, UCSC, Cal Poly SLO, UW-Seattle (merit), UMN-TC (merit), CWRU (merit), Northeastern (NUin), U of Toronto (merit!), UBC (still waiting on merit), McGill, Ohio State (merit + honors), U Conn (merit), Pitt (merit + honors), Oregon State (merit + honors)
Waitlisted, opted in: UCB
Waitlisted, did not opt in (not a top choice): UCLA
Deferred EA, did not opt in to RD: USC
He has a lot of great options! Next, a whirlwind tour of admitted student days at his top 5 favorites… (UMN, UCSD, UW, UCD, CP SLO)
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That’s a long list of wonderful acceptances.
May I ask which way he is leaning?
Mech if I remember correctly?
Congratulations !!
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I agree about the huge praise about athletes vs academics. D23 doesn’t want recognition at all. Our very big HS might get 2-3 D1 athletes in a year if we are lucky. And plenty of them don’t get full rides. We get more lower divisions. They have this big signing day thing like twice a year for sports. Like I said D23 hates the spotlight, but she did get a full ride to a D1 school for academics. The school won’t do anything for that. If my wife didn’t work at the school probably no one would know about it.
He is potentially interested in several different engineering majors (mech E, materials, EE, industrial), but if he had to pick today, he would pick either materials or mech E. UMN is looking really good right now because of the wide range of available majors after the first year, and some other things too (great formula SAE team, easily accessible music for non majors, urban location, and generous merit he received)… but he still has to visit it! (This weekend!) We are amused that his top three choices all have VERY different weather (UMN, UCSD, UW) 
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Not as big a deal as a college acceptance, but D23 got into UNT’s Honors College.
That provides priority registration (with the grad students, before the seniors!), which is gold at a large university.
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D has all of her results now as well.
Accepted: UMass-Amherst (merit), University of New Hampshire (merit & honors), Sarah Lawrence (merit), Grinnell (merit), Mount Holyoke, Muhlenberg (Tuition Exchange & talent grants)
Waitlisted (accepted spot on waitlist): Vassar
Waitlisted (did not stay on waitlist): Connecticut College, Kenyon, Wesleyan University, Dartmouth
Denied: Smith, Barnard
She has several great options, although Muhlenberg has been a top choice from the start. She plans to major in English/Creative Writing with a possible second major of Theatre. She’s also a dancer and wants to keep dancing in college, but not as a major.
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I actually have some hope for the kids waitlisted this year. The last 2 years many colleges mis-judged their yield and ended up over-enrolled, some with housing issues. I think they might have been more cautious this year. But we’ll see, I also believe in loving the one who loves you…
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Can anyone point me to resources for a great, smart, hardworking kid who only got into her safeties (all good universities with merit at each - but she doesn’t love any of them at all) and is devastated over it, feeling like all her hard work was for nothing. Nothing I say or do (or don’t say) seems to help.
I’m secretly crying in bed for the past few nights because I’m so sad for her and can’t seem to help her see any positives at all. I hope time will help, but right now it’s brutal. I feel like I failed her, that I didn’t manage expectations enough (though I really tried). I had to urge her to apply to these safeties at all, so I’m glad I at least did that so she has affordable and solid options, but her self-esteem and hope have taken a huge hit and that is so hard for me to watch.
I’m at a loss, and I’ve never been at this much of a loss as a mom before.
Thanks for reading this long mess. 
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I am so sorry you both are feeling so sad about how the cycle played out. Right now everything is raw. It is so close to the decisions being released. Last week colleges she envisioned herself at next year are no longer options. They go right back to school and are thrown into seeing their classmates who may have received good news, their teachers and coaches who wrote recommendations. So much work went into the last 4 years, especially over the past 6 months… It is just too close to the shift. You don’t have to make a decision for a whole month. Personally, I would table the discussion. Take a solid week or two or three of not bringing the discussion up. Give her a moment to breathe. If she brings it up just listen. I would also try to do things together that will help remind her of the fabulous person she is and the many things outside of a school that bring her joy. I think when there is a loss you just can’t speed to the end. And, no one can talk you into feeling something you just don’t feel. Let her feel her grief it’s part of the process. March to June is a weird period for seniors in HS. Everything is wrapping up at school, everything seems more intense but by the end of June poof it’s all gone. You are her mom for the long haul. She will get there in her own time. Sometimes kids feel they let their parents down, and they are sad for you. You love her and she knows that. She will in time be very thankful you helped her add those schools. Sept, Oct and November she will be mentally in a completely different place. Hopefully, she will be happy. If not, you can discuss transfer applications. Hang in there. You did good. Many, many kids and parents are feeling the same. It is just a really difficult cycle 
And you do know all the work wasn’t for nothing. All the work she put into her academics, clubs, activities and college apps will make her succeed at the college she does go too. Hard work doesn’t guarantee a “reward” but it does guarantee she will be prepared when she gets to college.
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Great options for her!! Wish I had advice… my D18 looked at Rice for STEM (she was a chemistry major) so I don’t know much about their business school. She loved the campus and academics but decided not to apply. Maybe Google the Common Data Set to see graduation rates in business for both or get in the college specific forums on here. Good luck!
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I think one comparison you are leaving out is the student’s personality. I have four kids; three would be crushed emotionally and mentally, and their self-confidence pummeled if they were put into extremely competitive academic environments you would, get as schools like Harvard or even William and Mary, where you can feel the stress in the air walking around campus. Suicide rates are high at some of these schools. It is about finding the right school that fits our students’ needs, and for some that are Bama and Arizona. Your best engineering programs are not housed in Ivys. There was actually a study conducted about 10 years ago that engineering firms prefer to hire kids coming out of state schools over Ivys. Friends at the University of Arizona Medical School tell us they would take an Honors student from U of Arizona over an Ivy student every time. They are much better prepared. BTW Cornell does have one of the top Hospitality programs in the nation.
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Go and visit, go to accepted student days. It feels different touring a school when you know they are really part of the decision. When she walks onto campus, she will know.
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Did I just see UNT win the NIT!!!
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I simply said - you can’t compare Bama to Harvard.
I’m not saying one is better for a kid than another.
Nor am I supporting one vs. denigrating another.
But it’s very clear that the overall quality (not individual) is far stronger at a Harvard than a Bama (where my really smart kid goes).
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The die has been cast. Now on to decision time, I’m relieved this part of the process is over and S23 can focus on finding the best fit. He is leaning to the top 3 but appreciate any insights to some of the other schools on the list
William and Mary (RD) Accepted
Villanova (EA) - Accepted
Richmond (EA) - Accepted
Rochester (RD) - Accepted
CWRU (EA) - Accepted
Holy Cross (RD) Accepted
Lafayette (RD) Accepted
UMD (EA) - Accepted
Rutgers (RD) – Accepted
BC (RD) Waitlist
Wake (RD) Waitlist
CMU (RD) - Waitlist
Notre Dame (REA) - Rejected
Gtwon (REA) - Deferred - Rejected
UVA (EA) - Rejected
Brown (RD) - Rejected
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