Agreed. He did an application for YoungArts last fall and it was a nightmare for me but he got it done! They learn how to balance it all and it is definitely the reason why musicians and performers and so in demand for non performing arts programs!
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I wish I had advice- mine is the same. Does the stuff they are asking him to to but itâs always the night before the tutoring session. I am trying to think of it as he will have 10 90-minute âstudy sessionsâ prior to the tests which is better than nothing but makes me mad that if he did all the extra work in between he would likely do really well on the tests. He is lazy.
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@coastal2024 , I totally get it. Unfortunately weâre helpless, we can only encourage them. Actually the tutor says, if the kid is doing the HW and thinks that they should get score, then they can definitely do better, it has to come from the student. Thatâs where I am getting stressed.
@Peruna1998 i feel your post and like Iâm right there with you except I only have 24 twins. Like you weâve saved forever but it isnât enough, and are burned out professional (2 lawyers) who just want the kids to be happy but havenât figured out what that looks like yet. But thank you for your post. It really resonated
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So, Iâm just venting. S24 was Captain of his XC team this fall, and was asked to be Track Captain this Spring. He is not interested in being a recruited athlete, but is good enough to win regionals in his event and maybe run at State. He turned it down. He has gotten really excited about yearbook and sports photography and wants to focus on that. He is so happy and I love that! Shouldnât I just be thrilled he is happy? Why am I worried about what colleges will think? I hate that I worry about this instead of wholeheartedly embracing that my son genuinely loves going to every sports event to take yearbook photos. Ugh. I feel like this process distorts what matters
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D20 was willing to prep for SAT/ACT and did well; one and done with ACT, didnât like SAT test nearly as well but our state requires everyone take it so ended up taking both tests once.
D23 took SAT as required by state, but we knew she was going test optional before she even took the test as she tests poorly.
S24 is a bit between his two sisters in terms of testing and thus far hasnât been motivated to prep.
Having done this rodeo twice before and knowing how well a student can do with admission and merit with or without test scoresâŠwe just donât stress about it anymore. Either S24 will not prep and do well or not prep and do poorly. There will be colleges excited to accept him and have money to give - no matter how good or how poor his standardized test scores.
S21 was a precollege level flutist and junior year basically dropped it to take up acting at school. He is now at a conservatory for acting and a published playwright. Kids need to take things the way they want and if your S is not a recruited athlete doing other things and enjoying his HS career will not hurt him. Maybe sports photography will be his passion and he will submit a portfolio that will be his spike! You never know!
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Thank you, and I agree. Life should be following real interests not checking leadership/sports/academic/service boxes because itâs what we âshouldâ do. I just am lamenting how admissions twists our instincts. I know my son made the right choice for him. I am just a worrier
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D24 has agreed to spend a total of 5 hours studying for ACT or SAT. Definitely frustrating because she used to test off the charts, but has lost the motivation in the last few years. It âcouldâ help with merit somewhere, but it might not matter at all due to CA not accepting. Hard to make a case for that kind of maybe. Will take the 5 hours and give it one try.
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Outside of football and basketball there are not a lot of scholarships for sports. The commitment for collegiate sports though is tremendous. So, if he doesnât have the interest, then he is making the right choice. He should enjoy the remainder of his high school life.
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S24 having a bit of tough day today. He has been playing tennis for many years and has been in the school tennis team the past couple of years. This year he has been playing soccer and before the soccer season finished tennis trials started. He has not played tennis in 6 months and on top of it injured his shoulder while playing so he did not make the team and he is bummed.
I am also a bit upset as it will look like no continuity for the activity but I guess it is what it is. But do feel bad for him as he does love playing tennis. I guess once he feels better he can start playing outside again.
I totally get this S24 did the same for debate. After 5 years and winning state level in 8th grade. He was more focused on sports the last 2 years for whatever reason it was nothing much we could do to convince him to continue.
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Hello all, I have been lurking on this forum for a while and absorbing all the great info. Thank you for generously sharing information.
Our only child is class of â24 and the college journey process has taken on a new sense of urgency this year. I am baffled with the process of finding true safety schools. Is there a general framework that people on this forum like to use to find them?
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I canât speak for others, but we started out by first figuring out what we could afford to pay per year. Next, weâre factoring in D24âs current stats (GPA, test scores). Then looking at what major(s) sheâs currently interested in.
I do not have a high stats kid. Her current unweighted GPA is 3.33. Got a 1200 on the SAT last fall. Taking it again next month and taking ACT twice this spring, but I have zero confidence that sheâll be dramatically increasing her score. This kid is just not great at taking standardized tests.
We are not an underrepresented minority. D24 is not a student athlete. Not low income. The Net Price Calculators on OOS public schools and private schools all say that our expected contribution is, honestly, more than we can afford.
For D24, therefore, applying to any âtop __â colleges is a no go. It would be a waste of time and money.
I have a list of target colleges that I think sheâd be able to get into AND are probably in the affordable ballpark based on those schoolsâ scholarship websites (where they list auto-merit scholarships and such). D24 is also still figuring out whether she wants a big school experience or would prefer a smaller college. Weâre going on some college tours this spring to determine that.
In MY opinion, a true safety school for MY kid would be one that:
- is affordable w/o a bunch of student loans
- has a major sheâs interested in
- is not too hard to get to
- fits D24âs requirement of ânot coldâ
- fits D24âs requirement of ânot so much Greek Life that it feels like EVERYBODY is in a frat or sororityâ
- fits D24âs requirement of âhas stuff to doâ (by which, she means, has a movie theater nearby)
- fits D24âs requirement of âI donât want to go somewhere where everybody is super stressed out all the timeâ
I think that every kidâs list of must haveâs is different.
Colleges so far that are being considered:
- U of Arizona
- Univ of New Mexico
- NMSU
- Austin College
- Southwestern Univ
- Centre College - but this might violate the ânot coldâ rule
- Univ of Alabama - Huntsville - but this might violate the ânot hard to get toâ rule
Considered but will probably rule out:
- College of Wooster - too cold
- LSU - too much Greek life
- Ole Miss - too much Greek life
- Univ of LA-Lafayette - same reason (Greek life)
- ASU - D24 hates it there, says way too big
Definitely out of the running:
- NAU (weâre in AZ) - too cold, too âboring,â plus âMama, I donât want to go to college at 7000â elevationâ
- anything in CA - too expensive
- anything in CO - too cold
- any other WUE schools that are not in NM - too cold
- Trinity Univ in San Antonio - doesnât have stats to get in + we canât afford it, wouldnât qualify for enough financial aid
- any other âbig nameâ privates in TX like SMU, TCU, Baylor - too expensive
D24 currently intends to go to some sort of health profession-related grad school after college, so we want her to keep loans and debt to a minimum wherever possible. And we are not willing to take out hundreds of thousands of $$ of Parent Plus loans.
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It is hard as a parent! In 11th, mine got invited to try for a summer opportunity in a subject area she has no plans to major in, and would mean trying for some STEM-y âknownâ summer programs would not be possible, as she had to commit to enrolling in the new opportunity before she accepted the nomination and months before she knew she was admitted to the program. I initially thought it was not a great idea because it didnât âfitâ her other interests. She really really wanted to go out of her comfort zone and do itâso she did. She was accepted and had an amazing timeâit ended up being one of the most memorable and meaningful things she did in HS and naturally led itself to answers for college essays, interviews, intellectual peers she never would have met, and more. I think many times following their interests even if they do not fall in line with the âstoryâ or âpackageâ we think they should have ends up being a great decision. Which is what that MIT applying sideways article saysâbut it is hard to necessarily believe it when you are experiencing it from a parentâs perspective.
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Thank you so much! Great food for thought.
Someone told me that the college counselor they hired (they have a 2022 kid) defined a safety as : a college that had an admit rate of >60%, and SAT/ACT and GPA are above the 75% and where the kid would happily attend.
Editing to add you can go onto the common data set for each school to find the above stats for each school
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Create a thread in College Search & Selection. Specify where you live, what your child is interested in studying, GPA range and your budget. There are a lot of very experienced members who can offer suggestions for schools to look at that might be considered a safety.
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sbinaz gave you great advice. For us the process looked like this:
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Identify non-negotiables. For S23 that was it had to be within 45 minutes of home, it had to have his major (data science), and it had to have a particular campus group he was interested in joining. We are still trying to figure out that list for S24, but it will probably include something like ability to change majors easily, or a good program for students who are undecided. Maybe for your child it would have to do with club sports that are available, or opportunity to travel abroad in the first year, or whatever your child really considers a must have.
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Of the schools that meet those non-negotiables, where was my child in the top 25% for things like GPA and test scores; or, schools that have a very high admit percentage, like over 75%.
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And then of the schools that meet 1 and 2, which ones were definitely affordable for us? Either the base price (with no financial aid and no merit) were affordable, or there was guaranteed merit for my sons stats.
Once we had a list of schools that met all three conditions, we toured some of them and looked into the details, and my son picked one (although I would have liked for him to have picked two at least in this category!) to apply to.
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Thank you so much
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