1/3 of Purdue engineers co-op.
2 Likes
D24 has about 13-15 colleges on her list right now. An even mix of in-state publics, OOS publics, and privates. We have visited about half and I am not sure we will be able to make any more visits before application deadlines.
I have a really big decision to make though in terms of how much prodding and hand holding I do during the process. Her style is to slide in sideways, last minute brakes screeching, tires smoking. This does not always work out and she has lost out on several opportunities because of it. She ALWAYS assumes that things will work out in the time frame she gives them and refuses to build in a buffer because that might cut into her social life. So she will be taking 17 college credits, president of a club with mad plans to take it over the top this year, theater that hopefully wonât be more than 10 hours a week but if she also does set all bets are off. She also needs to get her portfolio done.
Most of her list she needs to apply to by EA sorts of deadlines due to scholarship or portfolio consideration, so I expect 10/15-11/1 to be a mad froth no matter how much I talk to her about other ways to get this done.
Anyone successful with helping a kid like this learn to manage their time better?
2 Likes
Those ARE knock-your-socks-off figures. It wonât change low admission rates, but academically he certainly is a viable candidate wherever he wants to at least try!
3 Likes
@bronzerfish The only way I found to help my similar child was to let them fail and not rush to pick up the pieces. To let them figure out solutions (some better than others) and to tell them I believed they could figure out a solution but not provide solutions before being asked for help.
That solution isnât easy to implement. And I worked really hard on never saying, âI told you soâ or rolling my eyes/expressing frustration while on this course. I did a lot of âThat sounds (insert hard, frustrating, exciting, etc), how are you going to/how do you want to handle that?â Also a ton of âI know you are a very smart, capable person who has a lot of people in their corner who can help if asked - what are you thinking you might do next?â
It took almost a year (with some very rough bits) but child is now excellent with time management and also has so much well-earned confidence. This child is able to catch issues before they become problems and will now actively/appropriately ask for help to make sure issues donât become problems.
To be honest, there were lost opportunities along the way. However, DH and I realized we could spend a ton of our time and energy pulling this child into âexcellence at all timesâ or we could let them know we had faith in them and trust that they had the ability to make choices, own the consequences and regroup after falling down. We joked that since we werenât planning on going with this child to college they were going to have to learn these lessons at some point, the sooner the better for their sake (in our shared opinion).
Best of luck, I know well the stress you are feeling.
4 Likes
Great advice here. (I never managed to pull that off with my kids who needed it. With regard to the admission process, letâs just say there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.)
3 Likes
List status: 1 safety thatâs ok/fine, 1 low target that may not be a great fit in my opinion, and 4 reaches. No clear preference yet among the reaches. I am hoping that the approach of the deadlines may help crystallize the situation. I do think more schools are needed on the list, even if they are more reaches.
Priority to-do this week: Common App essay and then supplements for the safety. Or vice versa.
Unfortunately we found that experience was going to be the best teacher. Until they wanted to learn to manage their time better and felt it was important to do so, all we were doing was frustrating ourselves.
That said we did consider if consequences would fall on us as well. As long as our kid had one EA/rolling safety that they liked that we could afford and would also get them out of the house we were good. That may have meant our kid wasnât allowed to do something they really wanted to do until that application was done but after that it was mostly on them. The only thing I will add is if they will want you to review their essays, decide if you have a deadline otherwise be ready for day of requests for help. So letâs say, weâve leaned to manage ourselves better having a kid that doesnât manage their time better 
4 Likes
@bronzerfish, I am in the same boat you are. We just had a talk this morning about her list (which I have largely put together, based on what little input she has given), and I tried to ask her if any of them stood out, or if there were ones she felt she could let go. She basically said they all look fine, and she doesnât really know what more to look at. Ugh.
Iâll be watching to see if you get any good advice on this. Balancing the prodding without getting overbearing is tough.
1 Like
Curious about something. If a college requires first marking period grades for ED, normally the high school counselor would provide that to the college. Our high school runs on semesters, so I assume this is a special look into Canvas after the first marking period ends (which in my opinion could potentially present an unfair picture of grades, but setting that asideâŠ). What about dual enrollment courses?
Since this canât be an uncommon thing, I imagine the HS counselor as well as the DE college both have a way to handle it. If this is a common app situation, the HS transcript will be provided by the counselor via the common app. My kids never did DE, but I assume it works similarly. The HS or college has to provide those directly, not through you.
The grades will have to be emailed by the high school counselor. The grades wouldnât be on the transcript because the high school only issues official grades by semesters. First marking period grades being unofficial random percents in Canvas is irksome, but good to plan ahead for. I just donât see how a college is getting mid-semester dual enrollment grades for classes taken at the community college - I have not heard of an ED college going to that length before, which is why Iâm curious. Is that really a thing? (I donât think there are a ton of colleges that require mid-first-semester grades for ED, but there are clearly some⊠in this case, I was reading on the Tufts website.)
Thank you so much for all you wrote. It really is time for her to take over the reins, and I know she can do it.
There has been a lot of that here. She has some safeties, and I have to be OK with her not having as many choices if she doesnât get everything done.
Now I just need to see if can pin her down long enough to have a framework discussion about the whole process, so we can figure out how best to get through it with everyoneâs sanity intact.
2 Likes
Iâve had really good luck so far with limiting college app discussions w/D24 to once a week for 15-20 min. D24 even has me set a timer. And once the 20 min are up, whatever we were discussing goes on the back burner until the next week. And Iâve given D24 small assignments to help inch her along. After several weeks of that, you end up with actual progress.
Iâve also started asking D24 more open ended questions rather than being very directive like Iâve been in the past. Itâs kind of like figuring out how to guide your kid through the decision-making process for what, essentially, is THE first biggest adult decision your kid is ever going to make.
1 Like
What is your child looking for in a college? Do you already have a thread? An ok/fine safety and a low target that may not be a great fit doesnât sound very comforting when those are the two likeliest admits on a college list.
2 Likes
Agree 
though I donât want to post all the relevant info publicly so I have not done a thread. We are definitely working on expanding the list.
2 Likes
D24 has a list of 12 right now. I think we will cut 2-4 off if we can. She has only visited 4 and doesnât want to do more visits until she has acceptances. But, I am working on a list of open house type visits to a few and we will probably get those in this fall. Her list has nearly all academic safeties on it. Just one reach for admissions. A few are financial reaches and scholarships would have to fall into place.
I still have Tulsa on her list. They have some interesting programs that she likes. But itâs really hard to get to, so I think it will come off. Itâs a connecting flight. She wants to be somewhere she can easily escape campus and ideally be home or somewhere (not just in a car) within a day easily. She wonât have a car, so that means either I can get there quickly, another relative can do that or easy to get to an airport and out.
My goal, and she seems on board with it, is to have all the applications in by early October. There is a week when many Michigan schools are free, so Iâm targeting that week. Then a few will have applications for honors or scholarships, so those will be next.
4 Likes
We are in exactly the same point. Oh the pain of seeing the missed opportunities due to the lack of time management while we are so close to the end goal! But this post is encouraging.
2 Likes
We still have 20+ colleges on the list and this is counting the UCâs as one college. So we need to cutdown to 12 or so.
In regards to ED we are not sure. After the summer program he seems to be more clear on his major so ED will depend on the that. We have yet to visit his choice of ED schools also. We are behind than where we wanted to be.
1 Like
D24âs focus for next couple of weeks is the Common App essay which she needs to finalize and submit to her GC. She has been working 2 days a week at a dentistâs office and handling a variety of tasks and completed a couple of DE courses online at local CC during her summer break. She is always good at managing her time and i am proud how she is able to continue that in summer.
We have 7-10 schools (instate and in northeast) we are considering and some of them we will do EA but havenât really decided on a major but considering pre-health/health sciences tracks. Donât think we will consider applying to T30 schools to minimize the stress/uncertainty that goes with the crap-shoot.
2 Likes
I can totally relate to you. My S24 is very similar to your son in terms of Stats and ECâs. He also is 100% on major. He is leaning more towards one now after the summer program he just did. Need to see if this holds in a few weeks. He also likes the co-op kind of program so Northeastern is on the list. I do expect S24 to change major in school so need that to be a consideration.
1 Like