How do you do that? Just call and ask? We are not low income but he may apply to a few match schools if it is a free app.
Weāre worried about this with S23. Heās capable of extraordinary achievement when he commits, as he did in his Sophomore and Junior year. But heās also unpleasant while he is in intense āgrindā mode, which is a hint at the stress heās putting himself under. Itās always been his choice and he only gets annoyed if we suggest he moderate. We raised the issue when he was picking among his college acceptances since we knew from experience with an older sibling that he could have picked a top LAC that while still rigorous was much less intense than the university he did pick.
Now heās planned his first semester schedule and its kind of insane. Seems like a terrible idea. From reading the Reddit from students (and some older posts here), 3 of his classes are known needing 20+ hour a week for the work outside of class, each. Two of them are known for being intense science/math challenge (cull) courses even for students who came in with exceptional skills already. I was chatting with a professor at Princeton who took one of the courses as an undergrad at S23ās school who said it convinced him to abandon a math major. In total heās contemplating 5 courses, counting a musical performance credit that will require multiple rehearsals a week. We do the math and it seems like heās committing to >80 hours of work for the typical student, and we never perceived him as fast paced in his work. And thatās not even counting class time.
But nothing we can say will convince him otherwise. Perhaps he conquers it, and awesome for him. Perhaps he learns the hard way. Some things only matter when they figure it out themselves.
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THe good thing is there is a drop period that is several weeks after school starts. Hopefully he will figure it out and can drop something before it affects him in any way.
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He contacted the schools directly via emails. I think some schools would offer free application if your kid directly apply through their school app. Seton Hall is one of those school. The stated that application is free if you use their school app and enter a specific code, which is listed on their site
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My daughter feels the same way and doesnāt want to even consider challenging colleges and wants to have balanced college that allows her to have varied experiences outside of academics. Her HS is uber competitive and has nothing but academics going on there 
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D24 is very similar and has already experienced the pressure, snarkiness of her classmates impacting her mental health throughout HS. She has grown mentally stronger and mature dealing with the rat-race of her class mates and has become an expert at listening(without judging) and advising her friends about how to handle tough situations
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I think we as parents would be a lot less stressed if our kid had had this approach.
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May be point out to her that any college/university will be the complete opposite of what she knows (and wishes to escape from). There likely will more interesting offerings/clubs/interest groups that sheāll ever be able to explore, and sheāll be able to take courses in so many diverse subjects, and if she realizes something fascinates her, thereāll be many courses in later semesters to delve to whatever depth she chooses.
She doesnāt know it yet, but even at the most selective colleges, those are not mutually exclusive!
Instead of 5 periods a DAY, thereāll be five classes a WEEK. She might manage her calendar to have one or two days without any classes in some semesters - possibly even making the Friday or Monday lecture-free. If sheās not an early morning person, she might be able to avoid early classes most days.
Her competitive high school will probably have her over-prepared with strong studying and time management habits. Thus, sheāll likely find it liberating to be in charge of her daily and weekly calendar - setting aside time to go into town, visit venues, hang out with friends, and still being able to study ahead, get papers and assignments done due in a few days or the following week.
If anything, any academic stress could come from the choice of certain majors - but then it wonāt matter how less-competitive a college is.
The choice is of course hers and her motivation is valid - but maybe keep an open mind, given the above.
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I am just back from moving S22 in for year 2. Now to get serious with D24! We took WVU off because of the big cuts. She wants to do languages so since that is being eliminated, it made no sense to keep it. We are making progress.
I just found out that she has no counselor at school. When S22 was a senior, there were 4 for about 1700 kids. Last year, all 4 of those were gone and we had 6 new to the district counselors. Now, 2 of those have left and we have openings. Ugh. I hope there is a plan to cover the kids.
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D24 has her first admission. She was admitted into planetary science at Arizona with a $30k/yr scholarship. Great start.
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Another extremely specific question, S24 did an information session last night for Davidson and they have a peer recommendation. Now how does he approach that? Seems Dartmouth does also but they allow siblings which is a little easier to control. Wondering how you navigate asking a friend for a letter
My D24ās friend asked my D to write her peer recommendation for Dartmouth.
Find a friend who knows your S well (who is an excellent writer) and give them some talking points they should include.
A friendās daughter applied to Dartmouth last year and asked a teammate who was one year younger. (She was accepted and is attending ā guessing it was a great letter!)
I found it interesting the Davidson recommendation was more specifically about strengths and weaknesses, and the respect for the applicant in the community, whereas the Dartmouth recommendation is more about character and personality in general. Subtle distinction but I would still make sure the recommender understood what the Davidson recommendation specifically required.
Davidsonās online recommendation form includes an instruction I think would be helpful to include when asking for a recommendation:
This recommendation can provide helpful context in understanding the applicant in a community of their peers. You, as a close friend, coworker, teammate, or classmate, etc. know the applicant in a different way than do teachers, counselors, principals, and advisors. Your insights will help us to understand the nature and extent of the respect accorded to the applicant by peers. Since Davidson can select only a small number of the total applicant pool to fill each yearās entering class, your assessment of this applicantās strengths and weaknesses will be important in our decision.
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I probably wouldnāt have sibling write the letter. I think itās telling that although allowed, Davidson does not reference sibling in their peer recommendation instructions.
@homerdog both your kids applied and were accepted to Davidson, any tips for the peer rec letter?
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It is hard because it assumes that smart highly motivated kids have friend groups that are the same. S24 has acquaintances who are highly performing and probably good writers (how do you know that for other kids btw) but his good friends are a variety of types, some that are not thinking of college, some that are planning on CC and others who are hoping for the state flagship.
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@Alqbamine32 I am not sure if it works so you may want to ask your GC but I have heard if you choose a desired ED school and make it clear that it is first choice but you are not applying ED for financial reasons it can help with RD acceptance. I could be dead wrong but I thought it was an interesting idea.
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S is finally done with his CA essay and it seems to be in very good shape. His Internship is in full swing but Summer AP HW, activities list, resume, supplemental essays (first draft) are done. This kid postpones things till the last minute but does get them done. Its just very stressful for me to watch 
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Came across another sibling question, this one optional, in Northwesternās app:
Our holistic review process considers each applicant in the context of their high school, community, and family settings. In prior years, the Common Application has provided space to note siblingsā education levels and places of undergraduate and/or graduate study, if applicable. While that information is no longer required, we invite you to share that information about any siblings below if you wish.
Iām still curious about what they are trying to get at here. What is the relevance of sibling college attendance (and which colleges, dates of attendance, did they graduate) within holistic review? What, specifically, does it say about the applicantās environment? Does selectivity of the colleges have any significance, and in what way, or would this be merely more of a financial indicator?
Bottom line, obviously they ask this for a reason, and it would be helpful to know what that reason is, from the perspective of an applicant trying to decide whether to include this info or not. How does it help/hurt? Could it somehow be yield-related? Wracking my brain here about what all these details might indicate to the college.
To be clear, this is not about legacy (there is a separate question in the family section that would include siblings). I am looking through old posts about the old Common App sibling question and no one seems to have had an answer that would indicate relevance in holistic review, at least not that Iāve found yet. All I can come up with is yield algorithm, perhaps. This is CC, someone here must know the answer lol.
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Both of mine applied to Davidson (and got in!) āgreat school and I love that they do the peer rec!
The student just asks a friend, one on one, if the person could write them a peer recommendation for college. At school or over a text if that works for them. It is someone who knows them well but also will put effort into writing a good detailed letter and wont procrastinate or forget.
I donāt think it matters at all what the writerās plans are regarding college.
For one kid, my D wrote her a peer letter in return (I believe for a different college) and they both happened to have been about to ask each other when the topic came up. Obviously getting peer recs comes up all the time as an adult (or at least it does in my field) so itās a good skill to have(the asking as well as writing for another). Hopefully the kids know how to avoid a friend who might try to sabotage (and honestly that wouldnāt hurt the applicant because it would likely be obvious). Each of mine had a friend somewhere in their larger circle who had given evidence that they were the sabotaging type so Ds avoided them. I did ask one of mine āAre you considering asking ___?ā just to be sure āthey definitely werenāt.
Edit to add: D21 did send the Davidson tips /info to her peer writer, I believe right after she asked her, since that one was not familiar with the school or concept as much.
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