Not feeling the love is an understatement. My daughter has finally managed to pick a school (for an early app) after going around in indecisive circles for the last two months. Somehow it is the college that I like the least out of the ten or so on her most recent list. While I can see what she likes about this school, I don’t think it is the best fit for her. However, if she is admitted, it is likely to be the most affordable so I can’t even argue that it will be over budget, and in my heart, I realize that it is probably a fine choice. She’ll find her people. I am trying to keep my mouth shut becuase it is her four years (not mine) and I do think she should listen to her gut. But it is definitely hard to take that like aiming straight at a bullseye, she went right for my least favorite.
I think the danger here is - our kids are going and even think we know that does or doesn’t fit them, we don’t necessarily know.
They are there four years, not us.
The last application with a 11/1 due date is in. She has one due 12/1 and we are targeting Thanksgiving for that one. She has a couple of scholarship and honors college essays to write and I think most can be finished this weekend. It would be good for her to have a week off, I think.
I agree, write with him. Our CC encouraged him to write about a small moment, something he likes, a fun childhood memory and not be hung up on making a point. It’s ok to simply show that you love your family, or that you are not afraid to be silly, or a bit of a dare devil. Most importantly, pick something unexpected.
It’s a REALLY hard exercise for my son, but he is realizing that if he puts something on paper, we can work on it to get it where it needs to be.
Also, I think it’s important to realize that an essay is not going to get everyone in college. I am pretty sure my Ds acceptances were heavily influenced by her phenomenal writing. But she was applying as an English major. My engineering son simply needs it to not disqualify him.
If you’d like feedback on the essay, CC has an essay review service:
My S22 struggled with the essay. I suggested the small moment idea to him and that did seem to help. Most of his schools were not overly competitive and we decided that as long as it was “okay” he was good. He did much better with supplemental questions. I think he felt those had an answer.
My daughter is much better I think. But even still we write together. It’s in a Google doc. She writes and I help keep her on track, offer comments or ask questions when she’s stuck, etc. It helps her keep going I think.
So good luck @MAmomto4 . I hope he has a bit of a break through.
I think this is an important point. Yes, essays are important (especially at elite schools), but you don’t have to write a magnum opus to make a good impression with your essay. The schools want to learn about the student - it isn’t necessary to have an incredible story of overcoming great odds or show some otherworldly accomplishment to make a good impression.
Has your son tried a composite type essay? It prevents rambling because it is just writing a short paragraph with a little anecdote for each point. An example from college essay guy (CEG) is the trivial pursuit essay. The author of this example wrote an opening paragraph about game night with family, and then as stucture did a short paragraph for each of the pieces in a trivial pursuit game. So a little story about her love of science and nature (green) and an anecdote about her involvement in arts (pink), etc. I think you could just google to find it as an example.
The CEG format has you brainstorm what you know really well and use that as a structure or vehicle. For that girl it was trivial pursuit board game, but it could be anything. Making a burrito or taking a bike ride or painting a picture.
And then you brainstorm what do you want the school to know about you? What values do you embody? Are you kind–well what is a good short story about a time you were kind? Are you inquisitive–what’s a short anecdote about that? Then figure out how to relate them back into your vehicle/structure. As a parent you can help the child brainstorm because you will have good stories about their different personality traits.
This can be an easier type of essay to write because you aren’t telling one long story, you are describing different parts of who you are. And when you are done, all the pieces, when put together, would be unique.
In an essay competition, this style is not going to beat a well written overcoming-a-challenge essay. But most kids aren’t trying to win an essay competition, they are trying to help the admissions officer see they are a real person, who will be a multi-dimensional roommate/friend/student/representative of the school.
Honestly, my kiddo is applying to a lot of big state schools and they are probably going to accept/deny based primarily on stats. So what I wanted was for my kid to come through the essay process feeling good about himself. That means he feels good about the essay and also good about what the essay says about him. I don’t think my son had thought before about which values he embodies on a day to day basis and how that looks to the world. That made the brainstorming a fun exercise to do with him. And it was easy to pull in other family members to ask if they thought of little stories.
update from our house. D24 submitted 3 apps and working on supplemental essays for a few more. Most have EA dates ranging from Nov 1st to Nov 15th.
Her Common App essay was centered around an EC activity that she has been involved with since elementary and she did a great job expressing how her views about it has changed over the course of years. Her narrative was well written and she got good advice from her English teacher and i gave a few inputs as well.
She is glad that its over with and now trying to get through the supplementals while balanced crazy senior year workload. A few more weeks of stress in our household for sure 
Yes to this!
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Contractions for first person references are fine. Remember that the essay needs to read as if the student is actually speaking. This is one of the few ways the AO’s get a glimpse of the student as more than just test scores (if submitted) and a resume.
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I’d recommend they use “I will”. This shows the AO’s that the student clearly sees themself as a student that will thrive on their campus. I feel it also shows a deeper level of interest than saying “I would”.
Thank you!
Considering a teleporter to take me to November 2. I might find one to be delivered Amazon Prime, yes?
If you find one, please share with the rest of us! 
I’m afraid it would grab S24 as well and send him to 11/2 without having submitted those apps!
My daughter tried so many different essays. She finally gave up and wrote about her utter failure writing an essay good enough to convey why she should be accepted. It was excellent, but the process was excruciating!!
S24 just finished his common app essay and his supplementals for his ED, due 11/15. I wanted him to be done with this by 11/1 because the 15th is in the middle of his fall term finals. He’s a recruited athlete. I truly hope we are one and done. If not, the Christmas holiday will be very busy.
Thank you everyone for your support through my breakdown about my son’s essay! I think we used every suggestion you all made, either before my breakdown, or after or both.
After lots of discussion and brainstorming (and some yelling and tears), he decided to give the same topic one more try. Interestingly, I think a large part of the problem is something that someone above suggested. He’s really not comfortable with sharing his self reflection in an essay. In fact, he’s quite hostile to it. He feels like writing something reflective down is going to be misconstrued or used against him and he just won’t do it. That explained why I felt like his previous attempts were desperately working to stay shallow and didn’t really reflect much of him at all.
With a little more hands-on support from me than in the past, we worked together to help him articulate what it was he was trying to communicate within the limits of his comfort level, and what a map/outline of the essay should be. I then went through all four of his previous drafts, which were really like four different very short essays, and pulled out what I thought were the best phrases, anecdotes, and ideas that fit what his new goal for the essay was.
Today he worked those together into his outline, and then filled in some pieces that were missing. When he got done, it was 900 words. 
It’s not an award-winning essay, and I don’t think it shines as much as he does, but it’s actually something coherent, which the previous four were not.
We just sat down together and read through it to try to tighten up the language. I felt better about that process than I thought I would. He needed me to say, “I think those three sentences can be one.“ But then he was able to synthesize/condense the ideas into a pretty good new sentence. It is now down to about 640 words.
I think he is going to use the essay review here to get an outside perspective, but I think he will actually make his November 1 deadlines! Yesterday I thought it would be a miracle if he did.
Thanks again all for your help!
S24 has finished all but 1 supplemental essay for his ED school (Yay!) and is going to review them with his GC tomorrow. He is still struggling to write the final essay which is about “his background” and how it might inform his time at XX school. Various iterations of this essay (some nearly word for word) are popping up in a lot of apps this year. Any thoughts? As he says, he is just a regular white kid from the suburbs with a pretty ordinary upbringing - married parents, a brother, a dog. I’m coming up short in the suggestion department.
Diverse school? Friendship with someone from a different background? Tight with brother? Polish with a love for perogy? British with a fascination for the royal family? Stutterer? Left handed? Impact of the dog on his life? These could all be potential essay topics.