Parents & Official Visits

Parents Forum
1

<p>First the good news, a number of coaches have offered me "official visits" to their schools this fall. The bad news, my parents say they won't let me go on these visits.</p>

<p>Because of our fairly remote location (no nearby airport, or train connections, or even major highway) each visit would mean missing at least two days of school (a Thursday and a Friday). My parents say that school comes first, and with the very challenging course load that I am signed up for this fall (3 APs and the rest honors classes), they are worried that I will not be able to keep up if I miss two days of classes every couple of weeks this fall. </p>

<p>I understand what they are saying, and I do believe that school work should come first, but I'm really worried that coaches won't believe that my interest is as sincere or serious as that of other prospective athletes if I don't come and visit. Plus, I think that it would be really helpful for me to meet them and them to meet me. </p>

<p>My parents' "compromise" is that I can pick ONE school, and they will let me miss two days of school and no more and certainly not the 10 days it would add up to if I did the limit of five official visits. I feel really stuck here. Please send any suggestions or advice that you have my way, thanks, coldcomfort</p>

2

<p>Our schools out here have a number of long weekend breaks scattered throughout the year...they call them "teacher work days", or the federal holidays--like Columbus Day or Veterans Day--might be useable, too.</p>

<p>Check your school schedule and see if you can't find another weekend or even two that you can stretch to accommodate another couple of your "coach's visits"...it's worth a look, don't you think?</p>

3

<p>Use overanxious mother's advice and pare down your list to 2 or 3 schools. Talk to those coaches - they will understand about your restrictions. Would some of the schools be willing to accept a tape of you playing? How about them visiting you? Have your coach invite them. Set up a phone conference with you and your coach and parents so they can talk to the recruiters, as well. A visit would be beneficial, but remember, many sports continue through the Christmas holidays and Thanksgiving. Maybe you could use those days, as well.</p>

4

<p>I think that you may have to do a little leg work to come up with a solution that is amenable to you and your parents . I know that as a senior most schools will give you some "excused" absences, for a college visit or will excuse the absence if you give them proof of a college visit. Find out what your school's policy is on absences for college visits. Even though you h.s. may be closed for the summer, the district administrative offices are usually open during the summer so they may be able to give you the answer. In addition find our when the staff development days are for you school next year (it is usually a half day then you can possibly leave after school, missing one one day).</p>

<p>with some planning on your part, getting assignments in advance from teachers, you can even do some of your school work "on the road" while you are visiting as there will be lull in your day and your host will probably have to do their own school work. That way even if you are out of school,, you haven't fallen behind regarding the work.</p>

<p>Overanxious has given good advice as far as using the school's 3-day weekends to get some of your visits done (many colleges do accomodate this because the number of days a H.S. student has is limited and the colleges are usually holding classes on those days). This way your trip begins on saturday or sunday and you are returning home on tuesday, missing one day of class.</p>

<p>Ev,</p>

<p>I think that coaches may want to see her before the big holidays because if she is a "fit" they probably want him/her to consider applying ED or may issue a likely letter.</p>

<p>ColdComfort,</p>

<p>Do any of these schools begin their tem mid/late august? Maybe you could arrange your visit at the beginning of their school year while your school year is not yet in session.</p>

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<p>Thanks so much for your suggestions. I went over our school calendar with my parents. We only have one three day weekend (Columbus Day). My parents have agreed to add that so I'm now up to TWO visits, which isn't great, but it is twice the number we started out at. I'll just have to decide which two are most important to me. That is going to be hard because I am torn between the schools I think I like best, the schools where I have the best chance of getting admitted, and the schools that are known to be most generous with aid. There just seem to be too many variables to juggle!</p>

<p>My school does have two 1/2 days in the fall which are "in service" days for the teachers but for some reason my school holds these on Wednesdays -- why can't they do it on a Friday instead?</p>

<p>Sybbie, thanks for the August sugestion, I hadn't even thought of that! Unfortunately a quick check of the college calendars showed me that none of the schools start before mine does, I guess we start on the early side. Still your suggestion about checking with my school was a great one, it turns out that my school allows UNLIMITED absenses for college visits as long as you bring back a signed form. Hopefully this will show my parents that my school considers these visits to be valuable enough to excuse you from school. </p>

<p>Thanks again, coldcomfort</p>

6

<p>
[quote]
Still your suggestion about checking with my school was a great one, it turns out that my school allows UNLIMITED absenses for college visits as long as you bring back a signed form. Hopefully this will show my parents that my school considers these visits to be valuable enough to excuse you from school.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>This is good. Now it is time to negotiate with your parents. I beleive that you have to commit to and show your parents that you are mature and responsible. Should they allow you to go on all 5 visits, that you will commit to getting the assignments ahead of time, staying on top of things and carving out some of your down time while on the wisits to do the h.s. work. </p>

<p>
[quote]
That is going to be hard because I am torn between the schools I think I like best, the schools where I have the best chance of getting admitted, and the schools that are known to be most generous with aid.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Explain to your parents that this is exactly why you need to do all 5 visits. In the end the 3 of you want the same thing, for you to attend the school that gives you the best of everything you want and need: a good education, the ability to play your sport, and a financially feasible option for your family. </p>

<p>Your willingness to sit down and talk to your parents about the +s and minuses of each school is a good one because it allows your parents to be partners, advocates (vs. being adversaries) and sounding boards in the process. At the end of the day, it will be a family decision. They will feel better knowing that you do value their opinion.</p>

<p>Stress to them why it is a good idea to have a variety of choices. </p>

<p>while you may be looking at a school that offers you an athletic scholarship, you also want to knov what will happen should you get injured and can't play or decide that you no longer want to play. </p>

<p>Should you decide to attend a school that meets 100% of your demonstrated need with no merit or athletic scholarships (Ivies and the elite LACs) your parents can take solace in knowing that the funding of your education is not dependent upon continued participation of a sport should you get hurt or no longer want to play.</p>

<p>You want to know how much "pull" this prospective coach has in the admissions process. Is your sport one that is highly in demand at a particular shoool? Is your sport D1 or D3 at a particular school?</p>

<p>The thread - Athletic scholarship and need based aid, gives some good advice and is worth a read so you and your parents can have a talking point.</p>

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=77289%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=77289&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Cold,</p>

<p>Some schools have summer vists. I know that williams has one over the summer and Dartmouth has Destination Dartmouth at the end of the monts. I don't know if these are on your list, but id you are palking with one of their coaches, it may be worth trying to get a visit while school is out this summer.</p>

<p>hope this helps.</p>