Parents perspective - attending a community college

So, while I am a student, I am looking more for insight from the parents of the community. With that said, I’m currently at a decent 4 year private college, and this is now my second semester on financial hold. My parents do not qualify for PLUS loans, so I have the additional responsibility of the loan burden of an independent student. My loans plus my scholarships at the school pay for almost all of my tuition, room, and board. The remaining balance is ~ $4,000 per semester. When I was deciding which school I would go to, my parents flat out refused to allow me to go to a community college, under penalty of them not aiding me once I was in school. At the time, I was okay with that. Now though, it’s been proven to me that they are unable to help me with paying for college. Due to the mess that is home, I flat out refuse to go back, and I am considering going to a residential community college, which would allow me to hold down a job while getting prerequisites for a 4 year degree at a public university. Whenever I try and explain this to my parents, they still use the same threat; that they won’t help me out at all while in college including picking me up at the end of the year, allowing me to ask them for advice, providing me with information for the FAFSA. So while I know the trajectory I am locked into right now is unsustainable, I don’t see any other options. The way I have it figured out, I’ll have a good $40,000 or so in debt by the the time I graduate. I have no additional income, nor any way to get one aside from workstudy. Does anyone have any idea why my parents may be so adverse to a community college?

If they are not contributing anything to support you or your school costs, then do not let them bully you into burying yourself in too much debt. But do carefully evaluate the cost and debt of your other options, since it may cost more than you think to live on your own and attend a community college, plus you need to consider the costs of the four year schools that you may later transfer to.

The community college I am currently in the process of applying to is a $3200 school, which, combined with room and board, would equal roughly $8000 for a year. With the way classes at a community college can be scheduled, I would be able to hold down a job. I would also be in a much better position to apply for and receive merit scholarships at the university I am looking at for down the road. I am trying to be smart about this choice, I just don’t see how I would be able to support myself through college completely by myself, without even federal aid, which by my understanding I would not be able to receive w/o my parents tax information.

To become independent of your parents for financial aid purposes, you would need to wait until you are 24, married, or a military veteran.

It is very difficult for a dependent-for-financial-aid-purposes college student to self-fund his/her way through college if s/he does not get a full ride merit scholarship.

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When I was deciding which school I would go to, my parents flat out refused to allow me to go to a community college, under penalty of them not aiding me once I was in school. At the time, I was okay with that. Now though, it’s been proven to me that they are unable to help me with paying for college. Due to the mess that is home, I flat out refuse to go back, and I am considering going to a residential community college, which would allow me to hold down a job while getting prerequisites for a 4 year degree at a public university. Whenever I try and explain this to my parents, they still use the same threat; that they won’t help me out at all while in college including picking me up at the end of the year, allowing me to ask them for advice, providing me with information for the FAFSA.
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This is what craziness looks like. I am so sorry you’re having to deal with parents who are not in touch with reality. They have an expectation that they can’t pay for, yet they feel the need to further burden you with their agenda and fascade.

To deny you the info to fill out FAFSA for a CC just so that they can “save face” is ridiculous in light of the fact that they won’t be paying for school.

Do you have any other adult who can talk some sense into them?

I am so sorry you’re in this position. What I would do would depend on my backup resources. Are you in school now? If not, where are you living? If you’re still at school but don’t intend to go home, where will you go? I agree with @mom2collegekids about trying to get somebody to talk to them. Is there a family member who could talk some sense into them?

@kerplace, Have you filled out the FAFSA for this year? Was the community college on it?

Perhaps I vesting ate a transfer to another U that may provide full merit aid?

It’s true that community college isn’t the best option for some kids. Many go in because they don’t know what else to do, patter about for a couple years taking random courses and then drop out with nothing marketable to show for it. I have three nieces and a nephew that did this. It happens enough that I understand the “feelings” your parents might have. Maybe they even have good reason for those feelings as I don’t know what your schooling history has been. Anyway you look at it though, “feelings” aren’t a good reason to go to a school you can’t afford.

Given their irrational approach, I can’t say that giving a detailed presentation with hard facts would bring them around but I DO think it’s something you need to try. Even if it doesn’t sway them, you’ll have a good plan and understanding of how it’ll work for you. What school do you want to transfer too (public schools tend to be the smoothest for CC students to transfer into.) How many units and which GE’s will you need to transfer. Are their transfer programs or certificates to earn at the CC that would make you a better candidate (like an intersegmental transfer curriculum.) What is is it that you ultimately want a bachelors in? Is their an associates that you can earn first? I’m just throwing out a variety of questions I’d get answers to and package into the most coherent and professional presentation I could.

I recommend contacting the community college you are considering and being blunt about the situation you are in. There may be some scholarship opportunities… I know one kid in a similar situation (parents won’t help, won’t give info for FAFSA) getting their classes and books (and even a small living allowance) covered by a CC scholarship. It’s worth looking into.

Not all CC’s are the same.

Some are under funded and probably are best avoided. Others are a perfect place to start for many students. Many CC’s are changing their names to colleges because they are offering 4-year degrees in areas underserved by the universities and/or areas of high vocational demand. Thus, you rarely see the name “junior college” or “technical college” anymore.

I am a graduate of a CC and I now work at the same CC I graduated from. We are not Valencia CC anymore we are Valencia College but, despite the name change, for all intents and purposes, our mission has stayed the same. We offer 2-year vocational degrees for students who want entry level jobs in a particular field (and who do not want a 4- or 5- year degree in that field). For example, accounting or nursing. Some folks don’t want to be CPA’s, CMA’s, etc. they just want entry level skills.

Valencia is an example of what a CC should be and there are many, many others across the country that do everything right and are very learning centered, innovative, challenging, the whole deal and do it for a fraction of what the first two years at a 4-year public or private will cost so it makes really good sense to get the first two years out of the way and then TF to wherever you want to continue your education at. I did. I ended up with a masters dress and a CPA license so it sure as heck worked for me. My son did it and his GPA at his 4-year school is just as high now that he has completed his junior year. I lived at home, while at my CC, worked, saved my money, like the OP says he/she wants to do, and my parents supported me. It was smart. My oldest son, like I said, is happy as a clam as a TF junior and looking forward to going to grad school.

What’s the catch?

If it’s so great why don’t more people do it? Well, in some cases the local CC does suck. And even though I work at a great CC, how great?, well we won the first Aspen award (Google it) and you will see that some CC’s are nationally recognized for excellence. I won’t tell you it is all peaches and cream though. The face to face classes can be less than perfect which is my way of saying students can overwhelm the teacher with laziness and not much will get done. There is a general trend of “less is more”, grade inflation, and just good old fashioned watering down that can happen at a CC especially if the teacher isn’t outstanding. I think some of that happens at 4-year universities also.

If you parents refuse to let you go to a CC, I’m not sure what to tell you. But, for most students, a CC makes really good sense for the first two years. It is really simple. The CC takes the first two years, the 4-year universities take the JR, SN and grad years, and everyone is happy. As a CC professor, I do not research and publish and I am not exactly an expert in my field and by that I mean I don’t have experience at the AICPA and I wasn’t a partner in a Big-4 international accounting and consulting firm before I started teaching (although I did work in the Big-4). I am a full-time teacher. I have a masters degree not a terminal degree in my field. My classes max out of 24 students. I explain, demonstrate and answer questions and students can come to my office and find me. At a 4-year university, you will have a PhD or TA teaching classes with 800+ people in it using TV lectures for the same classes I teach.

You decide which is better for your student or for yourself. Classes at the CC will cost a little more than half of what the 4-year schools cost so once again … you decide what’s best. My son’s major is challenging but he got the same thing I did from a CC, a good basic foundation in the liberal arts and required core courses and now he is kicking ass at his 4-year school. He will have zero debt when he gets out of grad school. The first paychecks he gets after grad school will be saved for a new car and a house. If getting an education is what you make of it, you can certainly get off to a great start at a CC and you can explore different areas before you decide what you like while living at home and working. One last thought, in a week I am going to a national conference in Miami and will be attending some of the same presentations 4-year professors do. It is continuing education slash professional development. My point is, CC professors are not dumb or rubes or anything. We might not be world renowned in our fields, but for the FR and SO level classes, that really isn’t necessary. What you need at the foundation level classes is someone who explains material well.

He who has the gold makes the rules.

By the time OP transfers back, she likely won’t be facing classes with hundreds of kids. However, he/she does need to check what funding realities are for transfers- be sure the merit you know about doesn’t just apply to jrs/srs already there. Some states have a great guaranteed transfer program, too.

Also, if you are on financial hold, do you expect any credits to come with you to cc or you’d start fresh? If you have loans now, take the right steps to ensure everyone knows you’re continuing your education, so they don’t start due.

Lots of reasons some parents don’t like cc, from wanting better for their kids to bragging rights. In this case, 0 + 0 = 0. They aren’t contributing and you do want to continue your education but realize the present situation isn’t doable. Kudos to OP for thinking maturely and looking into alternatives. I sure hope this works out for you.

What state do you live in, OP? I think your parents are not quite in touch with reality and that a community college is probably a good choice for you, given your financial constraints. However, in some states there ARE some residential four-year colleges where federal loans at the independent student rate would cover the cost of attendance. For example, Middle Georgia State College has a total in-state tuition rate of $1,896 per semester for 15 credits - that’s a bit under $4,000 a year for tuition. Housing is between $4,000-6,000 a year, so a student living in a cheap residence hall could just about cover tuition, fees, and room with the direct loans. Assistance from your parents could help cover board (or monies from working).

However, if your parents are unable to help you at all anyway this plan doesn’t really work - because it’s dependent upon their assistance for the additional costs. So I think you should go somewhere that’s affordable, and if that means a residential community college - do it! You’ll keep your total costs down and some four-year colleges have scholarships for students transferring from community colleges.

There are several residential community colleges in my state, NY. I’m in the process of applying to a CC where room, board, and tuition combined is about $8000. I’m asking around to several adult friends of mine who may be able to help convince my parents. I have already filled out the fafsa. If I cannot work things out with my parents, I have other family members who would be able to help me with housing. I may have to take time off for college if it comes to that, so hopefully it won’t. Thanks for all of the good advice, hopefully things will work out.

Can you give us your stats please? What is your home state? Maybe there is a less expensive college in between your current school and the CC option. Do you know your current GPA in college? What is your ultimate career goal?

You can drop out of school altogether, work to save money, and reenter the college of your choice once you turn 24 and can fill out the financial aid as an independent student. Is there relevant work you can engage in that is related to your career goal? Having practical experience in your field will give you some credibility on your resume.

I get the feeling if you aren’t living at a college campus, you will be looking for an alternative to having to live back with your parents? Work on that angle as well, to give you a Plan B in case college plan doesn’t work out. A family friend or relative? Maybe you would have to move to another city to get a decent living situation. What you don’t want to do is be “house poor” if you live on your own. Working just to pay living expenses and not able to save up any money for future schooling would be the worst of all situations.

Agree that your parents are putting you in a no-win situation.

While it seems that your parents have you between a rock and a hard place it will be a challenge for you to attend a SUNY CC and living on campus for 8k a year; 8k will be the approximate billed cost per semester. While SUNY CC tuition is relatively manageable@ ~ 4600 for tuition and fees, room and board charges will be ~10-12k depending on the campus. Even if you had a 0 EFC and you got full tap, full pell, the max tuition credit and a full loan, there would still be some out of pocket costs.

At the same time 8k a year may be a lot for your parents. Does this 8K simply represent the gap in the financial aid package. or is this 8k their EFC or a combination of the EFC and the gap?

While you are looking at CC’s is there a SUNY 4 year school that you could commute to? This could be a happy medium. What is your major?
What is your class rank?

Are you a prospective STEM major who is eligible for the STEM incentive program?

Did you apply to any 4 year SUNY schools? Are those same friends and relatives willing to let you attend a SUNY 4 year school while living with them

The approximate tuition for this school is $3200 per year. Room and board is $4575. My home state in NY, but if I were to move in with relatives, then I would be in another state(NJ). The problem with commuting from home is, even if I were willing to, I would have no way to get to school. With the fact that I have the loan burded on an independent and not a dependent, it would be completely covered under my federal loans.

At the time I was applying to schools, my parents made it clear they wanted me to go to a private school; not even the SUNY universities. It is highly unlikely that I’d qualify for any merit scholarships, I’m a mediocre student at best with a 2.5 cumulative. Partially due to multiple difficulties beyond my control, partially because I didn’t seek the help I needed till too late. I do recognize my problems as far as academics goes, and I know what I need to do to fix them.

The room and board seems low. Are you SURE it’s for the full year–two semesters–and not for a single semester?

Here is another option that may work considering your situation: enroll in a 12- to 18-month certification program that gets you into a decent job (not minimum wage) in a high-need area with a large employer. Larger employers often offer partial- to full-tuition reimbursement if your degree is relevant to the company. Examples: RN to BSN for hospitals, business degrees, marketing degrees, communications, or such for your basic business office. Once you’re employed, go to school at a CC part-time for your first two years. Transfer to a CUNY or SUNY for the remaining years. Be sure the college gets it with regard to non-traditional students.

Your parents probably have debt or other financial restrictions you may be unaware of. It’s tough when the people you’ve relied on all your life suddenly aren’t able/willing to help you or are simply unaware of the cost of a traditional 4-year degree at a private institution. You can’t change that. However, you don’t need to dig a financial hole for yourself either. Like others have said, get a trusted adult to talk with them. If there is no change in their outlook, take a different path.

Parents aren’t obligated to support their children through college. This is unexpected and unfair but if that’s what your reality is, there are ways to get through this and get a degree without creating a financial disaster for yourself. And at some point, forgive your parents for being clueless…

@Kerplace, If you’re on financial hold, will the current college release your transcripts before you pay the $8k balance? Will the cc let you matriculate without them? If you can’t pay your bill, I’d be surprised if the current college would even let you register next year. If the SCHOOL won’t let you return, would your parents still refuse to pick you up at the end of the year or file the FAFSA and help you figure something else out?

I think that your current loans will come due unless you’re in school in the fall (and transferring may be impossible without transcripts), so if they won’t help you transfer (or you can’t transfer until you pay your current school the $8k), you’re going to HAVE to get a job. Is there public transportation so you get one if you’re living with your relatives in NJ?

If it were made clear I’d be returning, getting help from my parents is no issue. Its that I feel I cannot rely on them and thus need to find options that I could afford without their aid. My current loans will come due if I am not a full time student after 6 months. Public transport in NJ is pretty much statewide and very well connected.