Every one of those studies pertains to the UK, military schools, or indiginous boarding schools. Not a single one studying the effect of US boarding schools. Zero. I did find one Australian study that found no differences between former boarders and people who didn’t go to boarding school, except in a few areas where former boarders were happier and did better.
4 Likes
I can’t read the NYT article as I don’t have a subscription. But it sounds like a case of someone being pushed into it who didn’t want to do it. Which speaks volumes about the parent/child relationship in that family.
Literally quoting my 17 year old at drop off from being home and bored during Spring Break, because both parents work full time. “I love it here so much” The owner of the Inn we stayed at the night before asked her where she went to school and after talking with my daughter said she can tell she loves it because she was absolutely glowing talking about it.
You ask how people can send their kids to boarding school but you already have your opinion about boarding schools and are not willing to hear what good things people have to say.
5 Likes
Ok first of all, it’s Cosmo. That’s your best source??!
And, it is UK Cosmo, talking about British Boarding Schools, and 11 year old kids.
Still waiting for a single reputatable source to back up a single thing you’ve said.
3 Likes
No one here understands your point in posting these things as no one here would do them. Anyone who understands why or would behave this way is not on CC, certainly not in this forum. It is clear that you would not consider boarding school for behaviors exactly zero people here engage in. Why beat this dead horse? Nothing you’ve brought up is helpful in any way to anyone considering the U.S. boarding schools considered here. EVERYONE knows there are s/bad experiences but everyone also knows they are rare.
Really, what’s the point of this thread when no one here is sending their kids away and none of our BS kids are abused or unhappy?
Do you understand the audience here? Do you know the cohort of boarding schools this forum encompasses? Can you name ONE school in this cohort where abuse is rampant? Please relate and prove your concerns in relation to the U.S. boarding schools considered here.
1 Like
I am so happy that you are enjoying your time and I hope you have very successful academic career!
My question was really about kids who are reluctant to go or are unhappy there but I apricate your input, thank you for that.
On your two points at least in a day school there is some respite if bullying is an issue. Again if you want to go I don’t think you would really feel the impact of homesickness or abandonment. Where I have seen I would categorically called it abuse. There is a real brutality in normalising homesickness and abandonment.
And on BSS, its a whole category, you might get some insight if its of interest in the links I posted above.
I’m not moderating this thread, so can’t give direction on what you can and cannot link. I will say that examples prior to HS age are not relevant to most on this site.
I’ll preface by saying that my use of BS refers to schools that offer the traditional 9th to 12th grade education. Are there students unhappy at BS? Sure. Is there bullying, sex, drinking, and drugs at BS? Sure. Is it at a higher level than at the LPS? Doubtful. But someone is welcome to link the data that disproves. FWIW, I went to. BS in a very town-and-gown area, and was friendly with many from the LPS and had many occasions to visit the LPS as well as LPS in neighboring towns. Data point of one, but the teen behavior was better (although far from saintly) at the BS.
As I posted on the other thread, most schools weed out applicants who are applying because their parents made them, so I am unsure you will get the feedback you need. Homesickness can happen ev n for the kid that was desperate to go to BS. After all, it happens to kids that go to summer camp for a week or more. But I’m not seeing people suggesting kids not go to camp.
1 Like
I only posted that because I thought it might be a helpful summary. Anyway since the 545k google returns cant help you please see below,
Again if you want to go I don’t think you would really feel the impact of homesickness or abandonment. Where I have seen I would categorically called it abuse. There is a real brutality in normalising homesickness and abandonment.
Again, this is not the norm (or even close to it) at American boarding schools. This is a real problem with the misinformation put out about boarding school in the US—these are really just regular schools (often with stronger academic and social resources) that you live at. There are heaps and heaps of support resources available to students struggling with these issues.
I read the links you posted above, and literally none of them pertain to the types of boarding schools discussed on CC. The students at boarding schools in the US (barring JBS, but those are often way more supportive and I don’t have much experience with them) are 99% of the time aged 14 or older. Eight year olds do not go to boarding school here, unless they are living in a medical/psychiatric institution.
5 Likes
That’s interesting, so their home life would be worse than BS? Maybe but if they really didn’t want to go or where very unhappy, how could you do it to them? I mean that child in the NYT article how could a mother do that? But your point on family dynamics or a poor home environment is definitely something to consider
Would you, for the fourth time, please post a source that purports to study boarding schools in THE UNITED STATES?
Joy is British, based in Britain, and studying British boarding schools.
They are a different beast, with kids attending them starting at 8 years old. And in a very very different culture.
4 Likes
I’m a little confused as to what you mean “how could a mother do that?”.
The problems presented in the article pertain to issues drawing from COVID-19, not inherently boarding schools.
4 Likes
Also, please move on from this repetitive comment. No one here can answer that as no one here would do anything to harm their child or make them unhappy.
Next.
2 Likes
Okay, the NYT article is a US School. Ivanka Trumps said Choate Rosemary was like prison and said she only did modelling to get away from it. The kids on You Tube telling of their experience in US BS, see one example below. This kids parents made her go to counselling to convince her to stay and then were mad at her when she came home.
Story Time: THE TRUTH ABOUT BOARDING SCHOOLS & WHY I LEFT… - YouTube
Just to clarify, I am not trying to prove the point that it happens I am satisfied that some parents do force the kids to go, that they do make them stay, I am just trying to explore why and how its legal.
I’m so confused as to how you can conflate residential indigenous schools, UK boarding schools, and modern US boarding schools. You’ve gotten very mixed up info going on here. Please stop asking us about abuse that occurs in another country or with a specific time in history with a specific population. Neither have anything to do with the kids on cc going to BS.
No one here has a kid who is so homesick they want to come home so the question you keep asking isn’t going to be answered - it’s just not the experience of most BS families. Sorry there’s one bad mom at a BS and she got written about in the NYT, and you got fixated on it. That just doesn’t pertain to the ordinary experience of the families here. Actually I know a bad mom at my sons school but her daughter is a day student, poor kid, she’s be one million times happier if she could board and be away from her insanely toxic mother.
Your claims about bullying and drinking are beyond ludicrous. Sorry but this needs to be called out. I know a LOT of lps kids and I absolutely guarantee that the drinking and bullying at public schools is waaaaaaay more off the hook than anything happening at BS. At both my kids schools there was a small group of kids who might drink, small. Nothing compared to the drinking going on at the public schools in my area, which happens to be an area with super high parent involvement and great schools. My son has never been drunk. His friends at the lps have been blackout drunk many many times since they started highschool.
3 Likes
Ah come on!!! 15 million kids go to high school in the US, that one in particular didn’t need to go because of covid! Her mother basically saying I know she sad but I don’t care and I am leaving her there anyway is the bit I have issue with. Why would she not just bring her home? It is the ambivalence of parents and their blatant disregard for the child’s wants and emotional well being that I am questioning
Ivanka Trump is an insanely rich student who described Choate as “jail” because she wanted to go have fun with her friends in New York. Ivanka does not represent any average Choate student.
Source: I go to Choate.
10 Likes
You say nothing about legality in your OP. I’ve clarified the title of the thread for you.
Why not write to that mom and ask her for more of her reasoning if this bothers you so much?
Boarding School Syndrome per my son:
Being a day student at a BS and desperately wanting to be a boarder.
8 Likes
Why are you asking us like we’d know LOL
If you really, really want to know, ask the mother.
4 Likes
I don’t know anything about Ivanka’s home life as a child so it’s pointless to speculate- but I will point out that as a child of divorce (and a very public one at that- with the various infidelities being covered by the tabloids on a daily basis) she could very well represent the type of family I was referring to up-thread.
5 Likes