For us, being the weird Creeklanders we are, we told our three boys to go OOS. Both H and I did for our college experiences and it was a terrific way to learn to totally navigate somewhere new on your own - new sights, new cultures, new geology, etc. Plus ours all had to do it without a car.
No regrets on our part or theirs, but I’m totally ok with to each our own - and for some of y’all, the difference in cost is a ton. With PA being pretty darn expensive, it was cheaper for 2 of mine to go OOS than Penn St or Pitt. Pitt came close for one - within 1K, but it was 1K higher, not lower. PASSHE schools could have been less, but weren’t what we were looking for TBH.
Agreed. We wanted all 3 of ours to be in a different part of the country, as part of their education. There are cultural differences, and I think it’s important to get beyond stereotypes.
My impression after reading the entire thread is that the difference of $19,000 per year ($76,000 over 4 years) is affordable for OP.
The environments are noticeably different and the ratio of males to females is also a contributing factor to the differences between these two schools.
Based on everything posted by OP in this thread, I do not really see a significant issue. Baylor University appears to be the better choice for OP’s student & Baylor is affordable.
FWIW These schools are not overlap schools as there is little in common between them.
P.S. College years can be a very important period of development in one’s life. The choices presented by OP offer quite different experiences & campus cultures.
Sorry, I don’t know anything about either of these schools, but an additional $80K over 4 years is a lot…to me and my situation. It may not be to others.
My DC had lots of options but they were all in our budget - they had to be. Debt is not our dream and not our dream for DC.
Our DC told me they did not want to fall in love with any place in case it wasn’t affordable. So if you have a budget, it is important to have that conversation early with kids.
As others have said, so much depends on the kid, the major, future educational plans, etc. And while I know schools can have a big impact on a student’s life for many years to come…any school is a luxury for many people. We need to remember our good fortune!
Though the title of the thread indicates an open-ended question, I think the OP was looking more for direct correlations to their situation than answers from varied backgrounds and situations.
If @CUBuffs1 can afford the difference, doesn’t mind spending the difference, if the student strongly prefers Baylor, and if the parents think there are legitimate reasons Baylor would be better for their child, I think the OP should send the student to Baylor.
My mom worked in the accounting department of a major engineering company. She knew all the grad programs and how much they cost because she was always reimbursing engineers for their grad school classes. She couldn’t belive how much it cost to take one 3 credit class at RPI or Colorado school of Mines.
None of my kids had any Dream school in mind, they did end up with the school with top program for their respective field, and they have done well ever since they graduated. No regrets not going to a dream school. None went out of state. Money was never an issue then, but they did pick a school that gave them love or merit aid.
The more I think about it, I think I spent too much time thinking about colleges back then, maybe a bit too obsessed with the subject in general, now I realized it’s a lot of wasted energy.
Sharing my perspective, which has unfortunately changed overnight. We are full pay and have chased merit, unable to justify spending $80k/year for college (my daughter is a small/medium school girl and despite getting into our amazing flagship it’s literally her last choice). But, in the back of my mind I’ve toyed with spending the money if she gets into her top choice without merit. Well, my 52 year old husband, our breadwinner, had a stroke this week. He’s doing really well - things could have been A LOT worse, but it is highly likely that his contract will not be renewed in 2023. Our assets will may still keep us out of aid territory. We really thought we were set, but having to fund “retirement” starting at age 53, college funds for two and unknown future medical expenses is daunting. As they say, life can change in an instant. I’m glad this didn’t happen a year from now, as my DD might then have been happily enjoying her dream school, only to be told we couldn’t finish the four years. Now, I’m just sorta hoping she doesn’t get in come April so I don’t have to tell her no. I would love to fund her dream - she’s worked hard and my husband has worked hard to get here. Hate to share our sob story, but I assure you that I never thought we’d be here. I just wanted to share to encourage that you weigh the “what ifs” for your family.
Glad to hear he’s doing well . Happy thoughts to your family. It puts it all in perspective…for now, there’s more things of importance than choosing college A or B. Hopefully he continues to recover. And the reality is few of us plan for this type of unexpected challenge.
I’m sure your daughter will understand if you decide you need to change course.
But I’m sure that discussion can wait as you have months and a more immediate focus.
Very sorry to hear about your H. Glad he is recovering. Wish your family the best. This is also learning for the kids (and all of us) that life is unpredictable and they have to roll with the punches. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
@PickleParent You bring up such a good point of how budgets can and do change when life changes. When we were coming up with our family budget for college, we did try to think of what number would work if something major happened that we weren’t expecting.
It was one of the biggest reasons we were so adamant about setting a conservative number for the firm budget but then explaining to D20 that our conservative number meant she could have ‘extras’ a more generous base number couldn’t guarantee. We could pay for study abroad expenses, sorority dues (if she chose to go Greek), she wouldn’t have to take a job on campus unless she wanted to, she would have flexibility with summer plans (she didn’t necessarily need to work to pay for the next year’s college expenses), etc.
Sending my hugs and best wishes for the future too.
And going to “nuts and bolts” about college finances, be absolutely sure to let any school your kids are interested in know - filling out an appeal with financial aid. If you no longer have his income due to this medical reason, most (all?) will take that into consideration. It might make a school affordable. You don’t know without trying. Talk with an adult at the financial aid office of schools she’s seriously considering - don’t bother those she’s not interested in and would cut anyway.
We are paying for the dream school, and have no regrets. We also would have paid almost exactly the same at her 2nd, 3rd and 4th choices among the admissions offers she got, and would have been just as glad to do so. Tied for 4th and not sure how she would have picked if she hadn’t gotten into the others was the only in-state option she applied to, commonly known as a Public Ivy. It provides small classes and a wonderful rigorous education and we are lucky it is in-state. We let her know before senior year that if she got accepted to the in-state option, we would not pay for the choices “below” that one–the “likelies”/safeties that were out of state and private (ie 75+k with no merit) because they were not in our estimation the same caliber of education and opportunities. In essence, she only applied to them as a backup to the in-state just in case she did not get in to that one. To me, parents who do not have a direct conversation about what you will and will not pay for, before the applications are sent, are not being fair to their kids to then take the high-priced option off the table later on–excepting unusual and unforeseen circumstances of course.
For D23 she is likely picking a different in-state as her “backup”, the in-state flagship, and her other likelies are acceptable to us (so far --list not done) and appear to have the same or better metrics as the in-state flagship, so we may not have any restrictions other than encouraging her to look for the right fit over a name.
@PickleParent I’m so sorry for your husband’s stroke and wish him a speedy recovery. I could well imagine that your family is thinking through all sorts of choices and decisions now, and calculating the need to keep stress off of your H. Although you said your D would prefer to be in a small to medium sized school, please know that there are ways to make a big school seem smaller. Socially, getting on the admitted students FB page and trying to make a few “friends” before school starts, if the school offers a program the week before school starts (whether a volunteer mission, outdoor club, etc), joining one of the smaller activities clubs, etc. Academically, if your D is interested in a major in a small department, it will feel small and will be comfortable for her. If she’s interested in a big department, have her sit in the front of the class, go to office hours and TA sessions, attend non-class lectures given by the department, etc. It may take some extra work and pre-planning on your D’s part, but she really can create a smaller, caring environment for herself at a large school.
