S22 has had his heart set on Baylor since prior to submitting applications last fall. Good but not outstanding student. Was admitted EA with need and merit aid bringing the cost “down” to 51K/year. Option #2 is in state at CU Boulder at 32K/year.
Baylor is a better fit due to fewer undergrads, smaller class sizes and the faith component he is looking for. We could stretch and send him to Baylor, but are having a hard time swallowing an extra 80K over four years.
For parents who were in similar situations and who sent your child to the more expensive school, how did things turn out? Do you feel it was worth it? Would you make the same choice again?
S21 chose to attend GW ($60k annually instead of $80k thanks to annual merit award).
He could have attended UF for free (we bought FL prepaid tuition as a newborn, plus Bright Futures).
He wanted OOS and DC is a great fit for him and Elliott School of IA is very reputable and loaded with opportunities.
No regrets so far and don’t anticipate any. He’s extremely happy.
We are fortunate that money was saved over the years and thus, not an issue.
ETA: If we didn’t have the money saved then he would be at UF for sure. We would not have taken loans or wanted him to have any. Life is too unpredictable these days to assume or hope that next generation will be able to have the same or better standard of living as we do. Etc. Lots of variables are involved but bottom line, we are risk aversive. We had the money so he is there. If we didn’t, he’d be wearing orange and blue.
He is an only child so no issues there. We are in pretty good shape for retirement. Most of that extra 80K would likely go to him in the form of a new car or down payment on a house after graduation.
If you intend to give it to him in some form in any case, perhaps you can let him choose whether to spend it on the more expensive college or have it available for whatever post-graduation expenses you suggest.
D22 knows if she chooses a less expensive school, there will probably be enough to cover grad school, too. That has definitely influenced which way she is leaning in favor of less expensive options right now — but we haven’t heard back from all yet.
Can he qualify for the Honors College - make Boulder small? What major - physicss, engineering - CU is strong.
You may be underestimating the cost - as kids move off campus, it’s very expensive.
Personally I think what others do isn’t necessarily relevant - those who said they spent, could spend.
You say you could afford but maybe it would buy a car. Could you buy that car or help with a house down payment - if you spent the extra loot?
There’s no way to know - truth is, I’ve read 8 or 10 threads on here where people go to their dream school and transfer out and others go where they didn’t want to and have the best experience.
Good luck in whatever you decide - it’s never easy because you are right, it is a lot of money and it’s a very personal decision.
It was a stretch, but no regrets. Making similar decisions for another kid right now. Our criteria to consider paying are 1) much smaller class sizes (undergrad batch of less than 2k most of the time, with some rare exceptions – as an example, I had a strong aversion even to UCBerkeley OOS for CS – thought that would have been a poor use of money), 2) school in top 20, 3) STEM field that will pay back the entire college tuition in 2 years from just the first year pay, even though we don’t expect the kid to pay back. So, for the second kid, it is the instate state school, or if the kid could get into a T20 (the rare T30 if the job placement is like a T20). This was communicated to both kids over many years (since middle school). So the criteria were clear.
We established what we would contribute to their education. After all of their scholarships, grants, savings and Stafford loans if it was affordable then it was an option, if not, it wasn’t. My recommendation would be to do this before the applications go out. We did not limit where they applied though some schools we were pretty sure would be unaffordable. Surprisingly, one of those, our D first choice, did give her enough scholarships and grants to attend (it ended up being one of the least expensive options). We figured she had a good chance of being accepted but if it wasn’t going to be affordable she wouldn’t have gone there. She had 3 other choices if that hadn’t worked out.
There are no test cases with kids. No matter how well a given decision may turn out, there may well have been another option on the table at the time which would have been better. And no matter how poorly a given choice works out, it may well have been the best option on the table at the time (other options may have turned out worse). You make the best choice you can based on info you have at the time and don’t look back.
Same is true in terms of spending money. You will get people who say it was worth it. Others who may say it wasn’t (though given this site’s love of Top X, finding those with regrets will be a tougher find). But what worked out for any number of people or was regretted by any number of other people may not work out or be regretted by you. Only you can make that determination. And you are the only one (and your family) who will need to live with whatever decision you make.
I note that your question is about regretting going for dream school. Not asking about the flip side of the coin of regretting not going for dream school.
I will say your kid also matters. For some kids, the idea of “dream” school means more than it does for others. Reality is kids can do very well at a number of schools. But some kids will live that more than others. I have friend who still pins all of the troubles on his life on his parents not holding him back a year from first grade (more than 40 years ago). And BTW, he graduated from Notre Dame so it wasn’t like his life was devoid of opportunities. Some other friends who look back at various decisions in life with lots of regret. And other friends who have no regrets (making very similar decisions as those with regrets). Much of it is personality. You know your kid better than any of us.
I do totally agree (no matter what your decision) that you need to be clear with options up front. Can’t wait until after your kid gets accepted to say we then need to decide if we are paying for it. And if that means you say you can apply to X and Y but cost of attendance needs to be no greater than $Z, that is fine (though you may want to leave a little fluff room because if its $1k or $2k higher, your kid may well be bummed if its a no go decision).
To add to this, remember that the cost is for four years and will likely be higher as the years progress. A 2-3% increase each year can be significant with a 40-50 thousand dollar tuition room and board.
Yes - but at least we were told on the info session - not if you stay within boulder - that many kids move to Louisville or other surrounding towns. Our hotel was in Louisville for this reason.
I don’t live there - just what we were told.
But yes I don’t have experience - but I assumed if they shared it with us, it’d be the assumption.
It was mentioned when someone asked about bringing a car off campus - they said many choose to live in surrounding towns, especially south, to cut costs because living in Boulder is more than living at school, etc. but if you have experience, we’ll go with that.
I was just trying to say - their annual savings (up front) may not be the same in subsequent years - but perhaps that’s not correct.
But you could also look off campus in Waco vs. Boulder…>I haven’t but I assume Waco would be much less.
I just pulled this off the web - and don’t forget, kids off campus want their own rooms and your leases are 12 months - i can see why they say people move far off campus (to other towns)…not sure about your experience…but definitely doesn’t appear cheap there…reminiscent of bigger cities.
It definitely seems rare that a kid who gets the money, and a choice of how to use it, will choose a significantly more expensive school. I’ve not seen any examples in this thread yet.
Like the OP, I understand it is a very individual process involving individual values and budgets. I do think it is helpful to hear how others analyzed the decision anyway — it can highlight factors I hadn’t yet considered.