<p>I was talking with a friend of mine who I have known since high school and was talking with him about the classes he is going to take in the spring. He said his parents suggested that he should take a gap year and return in the fall. I was very surprised by this. My friends' grades have been slipping the past 2 semesters and he said that his parents informed him that it is best to take a break so he won't burn out. His parents suggested working on his hobbies, traveling, and researching jobs.</p>
<p>What do you think of this? Do many parents do this?</p>
<p>At my kids' hs, maybe 1-2 percent do a gap year. It is a great idea if you get a job or do volunteer work or do some kind of alternative study. I know someone who went to Israel on a gap year program which I think involved some college courses, some volunteer work, a lot of cultural activities and I know someone who was a clerical assistant in a law firm. I would be fine with my kid doing it as long as I knew they were doing something productive. It can make an impression on colleges if a student was not very motivated in school but later has a recommendation from an employer (not related!) attesting to how responsible the student is! Also, the student might get some "real world" experience that could affect their motivation in school -like if they voluteered with underpriviledged people and decided they wanted to become a social worker. My oldest kid is old for her class so if she took a gap year I don't think she would want to participate in "the freshman dorm experience". But maybe that's okay.</p>
<p>They're sick of seeing him squandar an opportunity with mediocre grades. He gets that part, right? The clock doesn't go backwards. Instead of yelling at him, they're suggesting side-step to find some motivation, gain maturity by solving problems off-campus, and so on.</p>
<p>He should research gap years (google "gap year" and there's plenty there). Study what's available to find a program that doesn't coddle him or he might return to campus no different in his approach to his studies.</p>
<p>If he drinks and parties, and that's why his grades are down, I don't blame them for wanting to pull the plug right now. If he's just a bit depressed, it's easier to pick things up by seeking out a psychological counselor on campus than to pull up roots mid-year.</p>
<p>If on the other hand, he's really trying his best and their expectations about grades are wrong-headed, that's another conversation where he has to say, "I am dedicated and doing my best work. I'd appreciate more confidence from you. Let's save that idea, and maybe a Junior Semester Abroad will be more for me."</p>
<p>Finding a job, working on hobbies and traveling is great fun (wel not the job) but the puttering part of the last two bothers me. And finding a job is easier said than done; sounds like he'd be living at home again, otherwise all his salary goes for rent. </p>
<p>The parents are disappointed, rightly or wrongly, and are expressing it this way.</p>
<p>My kid took a gap semester after soph year, went to live in a small city/college town, got a share in an apt (wish Craig's list had been around when I was that age!) and a job to pay for it. Went back to school completely refreshed and with a great outlook - and is working really hard at school. Without the gap I think true burnout would have set in - these kids have been going non-stop since middle school - new surroundings with no academic pressure and responsibility only for his or herself can do a world of good. It won't cost us anything (no tuition etc if you're not there), and in the long run may even save us $ because the plan is to graduate on time.</p>
<p>My son's gap "year" (which ended up being 3 years) taken after his sophomore year was the best decision he ever made in his life. I'd say paying3tuitions' first paragraph in post #5 sums it up exactly.</p>
<p>I like the idea of a high school senior deferring admission for a year to take a gap year, but I don't think taking a year off straight out of high school with no solid plan for college is a particularly good idea.</p>
<p>I just ran into parents I know of a college freshman who had wanted to take a gap year because she didn't feel ready to leave home, but the parents sort of ignored this and she started college. The roommate situation was bad (wild partying) and lots of kids already had friends from HS because it was big state U, but OOS for this girl. She ended up so anxious and unhappy that she took a medical leave and is home again. The parents are kicking themselves for not listening to her because now she is taking gap time anyway and probably feels like she's failed. A planned gap would almost surely have been better.</p>
<p>I took a "gap year" of sorts, though in my case it was more like "dropping out", because I wanted to get more focus before finishing undergrad. It was one of the best decisions I ever made.</p>
<p>I think very few parents suggest a gap year, but I'm one who did. My daughter is a good student and fundamentally a nice well-grounded human, but not good at taking initiative or asserting herself. She was 90% passive about the whole college search. We suggested that she do all the college apps, then consider deferring and maybe doing volunteer work internationally. She's been home this fall, working various jobs and acquiring survival tools (like a driver's license) and is leaving for Africa in 3 weeks to spend 6 months teaching English. She's enrolled in one of the state u's (New York) for fall of 2008. She's a bit nervous but very glad to be doing it, and we're all pretty sure it will give her a perspective and strength she would never get by going directly to college. This isn't for everyone, and it costs money (parental investment probably close to 10k, even figuring in frequent-flier miles and her paying all her own incidental expenses while she's gone), though of course there are cheaper gap-year possibilities. If anyone is interested, the organization she's going through is called Projects Abroad, and so far they've been fantastically well-organized and immediately responsive to every inquiry - also moderately priced, as these things go, esp since their fees include insurance.</p>
<p>I think it makes a big difference whether or not the student is making a conscientious effort to do well. If the student his absolute best and has mediocre grades perhaps it is time to seek some counseling and find out the nature of the problem. I know of some students who suffered tremendously and turned out to have an underlying medical condition which explained the grades issue.</p>