Pay now and borrow later?

Parents Forum
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<p>Having done this, your hubby is right. Some of the arguements supporting your original thoughts aren't very good. Go to undergrad where you can use thier dollars first. </p>

<p>What we found out about those "schools" that offer merit scholars free rides... </p>

<p>Lots of faculty knows your name..
Never had the experience of not getting a class at registration..
Keys to the science buildings to use 24/7.
Ideal campus work..
personal attention from professors..
professors that work with you individually on passing the mcat..</p>

<p>Yea all of those are bad things... for sure.. why not "be" at a name school where nobody knows you? and you get to pay for that too?</p>

<p>If your D has the opportunity to go where she is wanted vs. wanting to go..have her think a bit.. Is it better to be asked out or to ask out? which is more flatering?</p>

<p>And for those who pipe into this idea with a "yea, what if an ugly guy asks you out?" well, you can always say no thanks... isn't that far better than being the one asking?</p>

22

<p>If you have the money, there is no reason not to spend it on your daughter. Your daughter may or may not go to medical school. Either way, it will help her in the end to go to the best college possible. </p>

<p>I must say that I agree with you 100%. Many people have the money to spend on their children's college tuition, but would rather take an expensive cruise or buy a car with the money. But I can say paying for my children's college of choice gives me more pleasure than a Maserati Quattroporto.</p>

23

<p>Opie ofMaybery2 hits it on the head.</p>

<p>S got accepted to WashU and went elsewehre with very substantial merit money. He has experienced the "outstanding" student scholar halo. It is worth a lot in the total picture, especially since graduate school is in the plans.</p>

24

<p>The free rides are definitely my choice. I would explain to your daughter that by her taking the free ride schools it won't matter much when going for med school. When you're looking past graduate school, the undergraduate become much less important. Also, I wouldn't pay for her med school. She can get loans, grants, or other money for that. BUT, by her taking one of the free rides, you and your husband are now free to support her with spending money, car, etc... This way she can concentrate on her classes, not have to work part time, can get excellent grades which will be important when going to med school or other graduate courses, etc... If you pay everything for her to go to duke or similar, then she's probably going to need to contribute by working part time for her spending money, car, etc.... She already did her job. She busted her a$$ and got offers from colleges willing to give her a ride. </p>

<p>My wife and I make almost as much as you. My daughter and son have both done the same exact thing. Worked their butt off in High School. My daughter's on a full ride basically in her junior year and my son has multiple full ride offers. My wife and I feel better, as does my daughter, being able to allow her to have the 100% college experience. Hanging with friends, joining clubs, traveling, etc.... She likes the campus life so much that she has stayed in the dorm each year and now is one of the Resident Advisors. She already had her room and board paid for, so this is almost her working with dorm residents for free. But she is loving it. We can easily put money into her account each month. She saved us mega-thousands a year. If she had taken the offer to Vanderbilt or Auburn, she'd be working part time for spending money, car, travel, etc... As it is now, we were able to buy her a car, give her whatever she needs that is reasonable for spending, and take care of any misc expenses. She's proven, by accepting a position as an RA, that she isn't just partying on a full ride and our money. She's maintaining a 3.40gpa and is doing fine. My son is right behind her. Applied to about 7 colleges. 5 outright acceptances and 2 conditional acceptances. 2 full rides. 1 sort of full ride (Depending on how you look at it) and 1 50% ride. The other acceptance isn't offering anything. The 2 conditional acceptances (Final transcript pending) also isn't offering money. My son has already decided to just look at the 3 full rides and the 50% ride. After seeing how happy his sister is with not having to have a part time job or worry about money, and just concentrate on classes, friends, and the experience, that is what he is liking.</p>

<p>If your daughter is serious about med school or similar, then the undergraduate school she goes to means very little. Why waste money on it. Use the saved money to help her have a better college experience. If all she wanted was an undergraduate degree, then it might give her an edge up in the real world having gone to a "more prestigious" school.</p>

25

<p>TuitionSaver, I'm not going to encourage you to pass on the free rides, but if your daughter is "URM" and her record is outstanding, don't give up on the idea of a substantial merit award from some of those dream schools. Vanderbilt has a good number of partial merit awards as well as the large awards. Wash U has supposedly cut back on the number of partial tuition awards, but not altogether. I hope your daughter has paid attention to scholarship deadlines and requirements.</p>

<p>If nothing comes through from the dream schools, she still has excellent choices.</p>

26

<p>Tuitionsaver, we have almost exact the similar situation as you, except kid's grad dream is not med. I agree with what APOL said(or rather implied). You only have ONE kid right? Send her to her DREAM school, that's what I would do. At this point you don't know if she will change mind late or not, honestly she dosen't know either. imo, the best gift or ihheritance one can left to his children is a good education.</p>

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<p>^^yea def, I would also suggest you dont write off her "dream schools"...keep in mind this is Med school you are talking about...not to discredit your D, but many people go into college thinking they want to be Doctors and find out either..they hate the profession or they can make the grades ( pre-med is cut throat at most schools)...so in the event that she doesnt choose Med school coming from a better schools like her dream ones...will provide plenty of opportunities (ex top employers, Strong and successful alum, etc)</p>

28

<p>Ours were told how much they had for schooling and it was their choice how to use it. Of our 4, 2 chose the top fit school and will manage grad school as it comes. 2 chose the lower cost option. Oddly enough, it is the 2 that took the top schools that did and are doing better. It could have been their personality driving them to both the choice and performance, but both took tougher schools and made their performance match. The other 2 more laid back did not perform as well. Personalities are more laid back, too. They were saving the money but they may never get to the advance degree (we are still waiting for the undergrad degree). </p>

<p>I am inclined to go with the undergrad that prepares them well and let the chips fall for grad school. But there may be a middle ground. Maybe something between full ride and large debt. DD could not go where she initially wanted due to too high expense and not enough merit, but she selected at the top of what could be afforded instead of the the one giving her the full ride. Very happy and will deal with grad school later.</p>

29

<p>I think she should take the free ride, but because, if you are willing to spend money on her education, she will get a far superior education as a result. Consider what up to $190k could buy in educational opportunities above and beyond the college experience - 2-3 years of medical school, maybe with a year of painting on the coast of Italy before it, 5 years doing public health research (for free) in central Africa - the choices are virtually endless. </p>

<p>It is by far the better educational choice.</p>

30

<p>These are my thoughts -- OP has already indicated that they can and are willing to pay the cost of the dream school, so finances are only an issue if the OP wants to increase retirement funds/consumer spending. You don't really know about graduate school right now -- things change, sometimes dramatically.</p>

<p>So -- the school that is the best fit is her best option. Attending a school that isn't a good fit isn't going to help her get involved, get good grades, etc. OP didn't say that she would have to work part-time or be stressed for money -- so that isn't an issue. She has worked hard in high school -- why not let her attend the school that fits her best?</p>

<p>I am not saying she should attend a school because the name is prestigious, because her boyfriend is attending or because everyone else says she should go -- but the right college can make all the difference in the world. Maybe she will be lucky and one of the free ride schools will be a perfect fit -- she should at least give them a good look. But a school that offers the classes/activities/social atmosphere that she wants plus the class size and engaging peers that will stimulate her can make the difference between a college freshman that enjoys the college experience and one that doesn't. this isn't an option for most kids -- money end up the defining factor -- but for the OP's D, it is an option.</p>

31

<p>You caught the golden ring. </p>

<p>Isn't wonderful that you/husband and daughter can have the option to make a considered choice. Most do not have choices and take what they can get. </p>

<p>No opinion. We/DS paid for undergrad. Fullride for Grad School and current all expense + stipend + pay, internship.</p>

32

<p>Yes, we know how incredibly lucky and blessed we are to have all these choices. But it is still a difficult decision.
I am very aware of the fact that she might change her mind regarding medical school, once she is in college.... not too many 17 year olds are 100% sure of what they want to be in 15 years. </p>

<p>By the way....to answer AnotherNJMom, she is NOT our only child, we have a younger son who is not a stellar student, so we know that his college choices will be more limited, and his education might cost us more money.
And MINI…. I love how you envision her future choices….. painting on the coast of Italy, or research in Africa????…. Heck I’ll go with her…lol</p>

33

<p>This is purely anecdotal. A close friend of mine has an amazingly accomplished daughter. The girl received one rejection: Harvard.</p>

<p>Accepted at Yale, Princeton, MIT.</p>

<p>Full ride at Duke and Rice.</p>

<p>She attends Yale with no grants whatsoever. The parents felt they would nto penalize her for her success and she was desperate to attend Yale. For her senior senior a second sibling will be going to college. Her first choice is Wellesley. </p>

<p>They are struggling, but they are happy with their decision. YMMV.</p>

34

<p>Hey, Mini, DS, is in Benguluru, arriving Jan 1. Noisy, Dodging tricycles, looking for food. He apartment is apparently in a residential section. Hooking up with Indian classmate today.</p>

35

<p>"dodging tricycles" </p>

<p>nice phrase.</p>

36

<p>Take one of the scholarships. The concept of a perfect dream school is a mirage.</p>

37

<p>To the OP: It's now January 4, months away from the April 1 date for regular decision. At this point in the process, how do you know the amount of the scholarships from the safety schools? Are they all rolling admissions? And how do you know that your daughter isn't receiving anything from WashU and Duke?</p>

38

<p>I would send my child to the best school I could afford with a bit of stretch but not hindering retirement.</p>

39

<p>OP, it sounds as if your major concern is that your D will have an easier time getting accepted to med school coming out of one of her dream schools. I'm wondering what the different (undergrad) schools' statistics say about this; it may very well be that your D's med school chances are just as good from one of her free rides as from her other choices. Or not; I know nothing about med school acceptance statistics.</p>

40

<p>Time to really separate the I woulds from reality. What is your REAL reality? There is probably a reason your hubby is not in agreement and probably a reason you've brought this question here... </p>

<p>for those few who don't see high tuition costs as a problem or an expense because they'd do "anything" for their kid.. good for you, it is nice to have that kind of success that a quarter million doesn't matter and a possible additional quarter million for med school doesn't matter either. However, you should realize you occupy rarified air. There aren't many people out there who can drop a half mill and not have their butt cheeks clench up a bit. </p>

<p>For those like myself where spending a million over an eight year period (yup two bright kids) to get their education IS significant... merit scholarships are important and honestly.. a more intelligent way to go.. Somebody else (not me or my kids) is paying for undergrad.. financially that's pretty wise. Even if I could do it, is it smart? </p>

<p>Now emotionally I'd love to say money not an issue, but unfortunately the feds won't let me print my own anymore... </p>

<p>My kids are pretty realistic about it as well. Our running joke about "wants" is "why can't I be bitten by a radioactive spider and have super powers?" to basically say we all have wants, some of them aren't bound by reality.</p>

<p>Good luck to you which ever way you decide... either way somebody will think you're dumb or shorting your kids.. kinda a no win situation when put out for opinions...</p>