<p>“Mind if I ask how your boys earn enough money to pay 10% of all required costs?
At an expensive school this would add up to a tidy sum - several thousand a year + their discretionary expenses. edit: would you count any merit scholarship as part of their 10%?”</p>
<p>Both of our boys had saved a lot of money of their own prior to starting college. Part of this was because they have had summer jobs from age 14 on and part because we have given them an allowance each week since age five equal to their age and required 50% of that to go into the bank. So at age 18, $9 was spending money plus $9 was directly into their savings each week. The allowance stops the day they start college. Job earnings were treated the same way with 50% required to go into savings, although in practice they tended to put virtually all into savings except for special occasions like prom or beach week, which had to be self-funded. </p>
<p>It is unlikely they would have needed to go into debt even if they had gone to an expensive private school unless their spending habits changed. We wanted them to have to take out loans if that turned out to be the case. However, both boys chose inexpensive state schools so won’t need loans and will have plenty of savings left over at graduation. S2 has a scholarship for undergrad. We calculate the 10% after the scholarship, so it is as if he chose a community college.</p>
<p>I think either kid would have been comfortable choosing a private school if drawn in that direction, but they wanted big football and both parents graduated from flagship publics so they had that bias regardless of cost. Nevertheless, I can’t say they were totally indifferent to the cost implications.</p>
<p>There is no one right way. Lots of different ideas may work equally well, depending on the kid, on the family, on the state, and other variables.</p>
<p>I never figured out the % and my kids got financial aid/merit scholarships, but they must take out the full Stafford Subsidized loans, pay for all of their books, dorm supplies and provide all their spending money but they are not big spenders. They have used cars but I pay the car insurance. Two are in apartments and saving me money on the meal plan - they buy their own groceries and feed themselves.
I fork over the balance of their tuition/room and board.</p>
<p>As alluded to in many previous posts, the idea is to have your child learn to balance perceived value against cost, and spending their own funds is way more effective than having mom & dad pay full freight.</p>
<p>In our family, the deal is the parents pay 100% of room & board, books, and fees, while any remaining costs (tuition) are split 50/50 up to a stated amount (near our EFC, but not quite that high). Beyond that amount, the student is 100% responsible. Any outside scholarships go towards the student’s portion, while school merit scholarships are PROBABLY (depending on our determination of whether they are truly merit scholarships or common discounting) also subtracted from the student’s share.</p>
<p>DS has been lucky enough to get gifts over the years (primarily from grandparents) which comprise the majority of his stake. He also ended up getting offers of full tuition from a couple of schools, meaning if he chose one of them, mom and dad would pay everything, and he could save his $$ for grad school. I don’t know for sure, but I think finances was the tipping point for him in choosing one of the full tuition schools over another he liked (not full tuition), so he’s already making real world choices about cost and value.</p>
<p>This system isn’t right for everyone, but it seemed to work for us in this case. In 5 years when DD goes through the process, we’ll hopefully confirm our belief in this process.</p>
For an old geezer like me this was quite doable. State schools were easy … and even an IVY could be paid for totally by a student if they worked during school and got reasonably modest loans (say graduate with $10k in loans)</p>
<p>Schools determine all aid and loan eligibility assuming parents will pay. It is totally each family’s decision to pay or not but if a middle class family decides the kids should pay 100% for school they are severly limiting their children’s choices and putting them in a pretty tight spot. To attend a high cost private school would require a merit scholarship, tons of loans, or another scholarship set-up like ROTC. At this point even state schools are tough to pay for if parents will not pay the portion of the EFC that the FAFSA process outlined.</p>
<p>I totally get the idea of parents wanting the kids to have skin in the game … however I’m at a loss understanding the viewpoint of parents who are middle class and will not pay anything for their kids to go to college; especially bright high achieving kids. Mom3togo and I have been pretty lucky so far … we have a some bucks put away … there is nothing we’d rather see that money do then help our kids launch. I have real trouble understanding why families will not help kids at least attend the local State U.</p>
The most expensive private schools are in the $50k-$55k/yr range … so 10% is $5000-$5500 per year. Summer job, 8-10 hr/wk job during school, and a $2500 loan per year will cover that … and a good summer job or extra hours will take the student well past $5500. In fact that plan is what would pay for an IVY in the mid to late 70s …far from it now … but it will pay 10%.</p>
<p>I also asked my kids to pay 10%. Different amounts for them-- I hope this “family policy” might motivate my younger kids to choose less expensive schools/take scholarship offers (we allowed S#1 to choose a school with no financial aid. D#1 got a good scholarship at a more expensive school, so we owe less). They both worked and saved during high school/summers–so no problem paying the 10% ($2-3,000 each per year).</p>
<p>My parents were only able to pay 20% of (state u.) college expenses for me and my sibs–leaving us to cover 80% however we could (work, scholarships, ROTC, loans, etc.) My kids are happy they only have to pay 10%, and I’m happy I can afford more than my parents could.</p>
<p>My parents helped me through college at our in-state flagship (a very good one), though I paid for well over half of it through pre-college, term-time, and summer earnings, boosted by earnings from a one-semester leave of absence from college to work full-time. Grad school (twice) was entirely on me. I’ve always assumed I’d help my kids through college to the extent I’m able, which is considerable. In part I just want them to get a good education for its own sake, and because it will make their lives intellectually richer and more interesting; and in part because giving them a good education will give them a leg up financially, and to that extent it’s a sound investment even in pure dollar terms. But also because colleges and universities EXPECT that I’ll help my kids financially, and they set their prices and financial aid budgets on the basis of that expectation. As a consequence, it would be unfair to my kids not to help them if it means they end up taking on unsustainable debt levels because I’m not coming through with the contribution the schools are counting on from me. It would put my kids in a huge financial hole, and at a steep disadvantage relative to kids whose parents do help them and/or who qualify for a lot more financial aid.</p>
<p>That said, I feel it’s important for my kids to have “skin in the game,” as someone said. This is not just a pure gift. They’ve got to co-invest financially as well as by putting their full effort into it (and I somehow think there’s a correlation between the two). But rather than dividing up the costs on the basis of percentages or some other complicated formula, we’ve simply worked out a budget based on what I think D1 (currently a rising HS senior) can reasonably contribute from pre-college savings, term-time earning while in college, and summer jobs. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for D to save aggressively while in HS with an eye toward college and to spend down her entire pre-college savings on college costs. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask her to work maybe 6-8 hours/week while in school, as I always did, and to work full-time or close to it during her summers. And I don’t think it’s unreasonable for her to take out a manageable amount in student loans (unsubsidized Staffords, in our case, for which the government sets a fairly low ceiling for undergrads). We can renegotiate all this as needed, for example if exciting internships or foreign study opportunities come up, or if she finds she really can’t get all he academic work done while working 8 hours/week, or needs help paying off her student loans while getting her feet on the ground after college. We’re not going to let her drown financially or academically, or force her to pass up great opportunities for the sake of rigid adherence to a financial plan we set out before college. But bottom line, I think she’ll have more “ownership” over her college experience and her college degree if it’s something she’s had to co-invest in financially, within the limits of her ability to contribute, than if it’s simply handed to her as a gift.</p>
<p>rocket6louise, I have been in your situation. It was a financial struggle and did not make me work harder at classwork or value my education more. I chose a major that would enable me to make enough money to pay off my loans, but hated my job. And that is why I will make sure my kids do not end up in the same situation. I think the needing to have “skin in the game” (I HATE that expression) is an individual thing. My D values her education and college experience even though she is only paying for her incidentals. She was brought up in a thrifty household, and understands the enormity of the gift she has been given. Good luck to you in your college search process. Depending on your major, consider co-op schools, that’s how I got through.</p>
<p>I’m really sorry to hear you are in this situation. Unfortunately there are a ton of kids on CC each year who are … so there have been a ton of (hopefully) helpful threads on the subject for which you may want to search. There are ways to make it work but there are less options and it will take some persisence on your part. Merit scholarships and starting out at a CC (a fine plan in CA … not so good in MA) are two common approaches taken if a student needs to totaly fund schools on their own. Good luck!</p>