Hi. I have a question about the medium used to send thank you notes. So I have a set of personalized note cards (with my name at the top) that I use to send thank you notes. (Yes, I still send formal handwritten thank you notes to people. ) I was gifted a set after I got married many years ago and since then that is how I send thank you notes to people.
I’ve decided that for future gift giving events regarding my high schooler (Birthday, Christmas, etc), I will start trying to incorporate gifts my high schooler can use for the college process.
I know at some point my high schooler will be sending thank you notes/letters to people who have helped him in this college process such as people who write recommendations, guidance counselor, interviewers, etc. Is getting him a set of personalized note cards or stationary to be used for future correspondence, such as thank you notes, doing too much (not in cost but in being too over the top)?
Do young people even send handwritten thank you notes or is it all done by e-mail? Also will recipients of handwritten thank you notes on personalized note cards or paper think he is trying to be elitist and bougie- (especially since we are going to be needing financial aid)? What do you think?
Personalized note cards seem a little old school, but yes I think kids do send handwritten thank you notes and I’m sure whatever card he sends will be appreciated.
Last year I got my then senior some thank you cards but got ones from Target that looked vaguely like the school she was going to. One had mountains on it and the school is in the mountains one had the animal that is the school mascot if I’m remembering correctly. I think she ended up using the mountains one more.
If it makes you (and him) happy to do personalized cards then I think that’s fine. I am a big fan of sending a physical paper card though and not just an email. That probably makes me old school too.
Growing up, I always had my kids send handwritten thank you notes for things, such as end of the year notes to teachers, Christmas/birthday gifts from elderly relatives, and high school/college graduation gifts. I think it’s a good habit to have, and I still would expect a handwritten one after a wedding or baby shower. I guess I’m old school. So no, I don’t think personalized note cards would be over the top, though we usually get ours from Walmart, lol.
I was secretly pleased that after college graduation, my older S took the time to write handwritten letters to several people/teachers who had encouraged him over the years. I only knew that he did it because he needed a couple of their addresses.
Sending handwritten thank you notes is a thoughtful and appreciated gesture that can help your high schooler stand out in the college application process. Personalized note cards or stationary can be a nice touch, but they are not necessary. Your high schooler can use any type of card or paper to write their thank you notes.
It is still common for young people to send handwritten thank you notes, especially in more formal situations such as college applications. However, it is also acceptable to send a thank you email, especially if the recipient is someone your high schooler has communicated with primarily through email.
Recipients of handwritten thank you notes are unlikely to think your high schooler is trying to be elitist or bougie. In fact, they may appreciate the effort your high schooler is making to express their gratitude in a more personal and sincere way. It is always a good idea to be gracious and humble in your thank you notes, regardless of the medium you choose to use.
My kids gave hand written thank you notes to their teachers who wrote recommendations, and their guidance counselor, I bought them some with their college colors. For thank you’s in college, they were mostly emails to interviewers, gifts from grandparents were thanked by phone, other family members phone or text. Growing up my kids sent physical handwritten notes, just like I did.
Both of my kids wrote handwritten thank yous to teachers/guidance counselors who wrote LORs. But notecards aren’t used as often as they were in our day. I’d just order some notecards from Amazon - no need to personalize them.
I don’t have a strong opinion here. I think it’s a sweet idea, I can tell you a teacher will be thrilled to get a letter. I got a call from my younger son’s guidance counselor about the thank-you letter he wrote to her. She apparently normally gets pretty perfunctory thanks if anything at all. My son got into a bunch of reach colleges and figured whatever she had written must have been helpful. I thought his letter was a bit over the top, but she was choking up she was so touched by the letter.
My kids (both in high school) absolutely send either handwritten or emailed thank-you notes to teachers at the end of the year (not every teacher, but certainly those who had a strong impact). And at their high school, there’s a sweet tradition for seniors: at the end of the year, there’s a stack of note cards available in the counseling center, and a big box to collect them. Seniors can grab some note cards, write out notes to teachers and other staff who have helped them along the way, and drop them in the box to be delivered. So I don’t think handwritten notes are at all inappropriate. And personalized stationary, as long as its understated, is a nice idea. Alternatively, you can use nice (not personalized) stationary like Crane, which is simple and professional looking.
Nothing against the hand written note. Personally for like a high school student who sees their teachers on a regular basis I am also a fan of a face to face genuine “thank you” for something like a recommendation letter.
I will say that if my kids were writing a thank you note and had 2 piles of note cards - one personalized with their name and the others blank, they would choose the blank ones without their name.
My kids both send hand written thank you notes. BUT they would be less than thrilled to get a gift of personalized thank you notes.
DS typically sends a nice picture post card from where he lives. Lots of good scenery pics. DD has a couple of preferred thank you notes. She has plain cream colored ones for more professional things, and others with fun or pretty pictures on the covers. No names.
I think I would not give these as a gift unless I knew for sure that the user wanted them.
For wedding thank you notes, my kid used a variety of floral prints. Nothing personalized…except the signatures of the couple!
Handwritten notes are a sign of proper upbringing in my opinion (and that of Miss Manners), and good manners never go out of style regardless of what the riff-raff is doing these days.
We taught our son to respond on paper. Our college graduation/commissioning gift to him was a beautiful full set of heavy-stock stationery, including thank-you cards, engraved with the West Point crest, along with a Mont Blanc pen. He’d better be using them.
IMO a personalized note should be in addition to (not replacing) an in person thank you. My kids attached the note to a small gift given once their final college choice has been made.
I think a personal, handwritten thank-you note is wonderful and can’t imagine a recipient of one would harbor negative thoughts about the sender. My kids sent hand-written thank you notes to their high school teachers who wrote college recommendations and to those who had an impact on them.
I have a funny story about thank-you notes. Pre-covid, a friend and I offered to do a themed dinner party as a fundraiser for a charity auction. We would go to the winning bidder’s house and cook a meal, set-up, serve, and clean, etc. and all the winner had to do was invite guests.
At one auction, the winning bidder was a senior citizen as were her guests with the exception of one couple (in their early forties) who were neighbors of the hostess. After the dinner, my friend and I received hand-written thank-you notes from all of the attendees with the exception of the young neighbors!
Hand-written notes are a dying tradition, I think buying your son note cards (personalized or not) is a great idea.
I think we are straying from the OPs actual question…which was…are personalized (with names or initials) thank you notes something that would be a welcome gift.
In the Thumper household, the kids would not want these. They prefer different kinds of thank you notes.
True story- one of my kids won a local scholarship. One year only, 1K. OK- so no big deal, but it involved ten minutes of adapting the college essay, so not a bad ROI for a teenager (10 minutes for a thousand bucks- I’ll take it.) The paperwork specified that it was non-renewable.
We (me) insisted that kid write a personal thank you note to the “Scholarship Committee”. Which apparently was read out loud at a board meeting of this organization- and resulted in THREE MORE YEARS of the allegedly non-renewable scholarship.
4K for the original ten minutes, plus the five minutes to write the note (and the usual hassle of “Mom, do we have postage stamps? How do I know how much it costs to mail the letter?”)
I think personalized note cards are a lovely idea!
I was gifted a set after I got married many years ago and since then that is how I send thank you notes to people.
