Perspective

College Majors Theater/Drama Majors
1

<p>I just left the MT thread. They are having a big argument about the great unfairness of the entire process. Its a good read, if you have time. But a wee bit depressing.</p>

<p>Its been a year now since we did this. My D, as many of you know, is at UCLA. She turned down CCM, Emerson, Cal Arts, UC Irvine and UC Santa Barbara to go there. But still, this time last year what we thought most about was the rejection by NYU and CMU. My D was convinced her best audition was with CMU. We both thought she would surely get into NYU, as Emerson had admitted her early action.</p>

<p>At the time, it hurt. Bad. She cried. I cried, quietly, to myself. My friends that I have made on this page privately messaged me on this and another board and tried to give me perspective. </p>

<p>They tried, but perspective is something that takes a year to find. A year to see other kids you know try... and not succeed. A year to read the postings on these pages, think in your head "oh... that kid will get in there." And then see that kid did not.</p>

<p>At least five kids that we know from her h.s. applied for UCLA's acting program. Only one got in. So far none have been admitted to NYU. So far nothing from Cal Arts. </p>

<p>I now remember my friends on these pages, the ones who had done this before, telling me in the depth of our misery, "your D has done really well and you should be really excited." Of course, we didn't understand that or hear it. We couldn't.</p>

<p>So, I could tell many of you that you have done really well and you should be very excited. But I have a feeling that for those of you who didn't get in that dream school, it will fall on deaf ears. </p>

<p>You need perspective.</p>

<p>You need a year to go by. A year in your school...the school you are supposed to go to...You will figure out which school that is in the next few weeks. </p>

<p>Then you will look back with perspective... like I have... and say "Yes... Did really well."</p>

<p>Yes, you did.... :) We know that. We have perspective.</p>

2

<p>Very nice post! I just recently received rejections from UCLA, CalArts, and Emerson before finally laying eyes on a fat packet in the mail. The week leading up to that Ithaca acceptance was brutal with rejection after rejection. I’m now waiting on BU and NYU, but know that I would be absolutely happy with Ithaca. Best of luck to everyone and just hold your head up! I had just begun to bawl over the Emerson rejection when the Ithaca acceptance rolled into the mail a mere 10 minutes later, so there IS hope! We thespians have to get used to the idea of acceptances and rejections - it’ll follow us forever if we choose this trade. What I’ve learned is not to get down on yourself over these things. If the school didn’t want you, you weren’t the right fit for them. It’s no fault of your own. You will click somewhere.</p>

3

<p>Amen to that Kslogist!</p>

<p>Agree wholeheartedly! I had to learn the hard way, but moved past it! The tables recently turned for me and I have been given some good news concerning my dream school, but I had already realized before that I didn’t need it to get where I wanted eventually! I had already moved past it when I heard the news…I know I would have been happy with or without the news I got! </p>

<p>This whole process is definitely confusing and we all should not take it to heart too much! I know this wonderfully talented kid who made it to the final 40 Juilliard callbacks who recently got rejected from NCSA…most, I think, would have expected them to get into NCSA, having been part of the Juilliard final callback group! They are disappointed, but realize a different offer will come…and in their case probably many offers…they will find the RIGHT place for them. It just isn’t NCSA.</p>

<p>Everyone will find their place at the right school for them…even if it does not seem like the RIGHT place at the time.</p>

<p>I think chrissyblu makes a very good point that we need perspective…I do believe that experiencing horrible heartbreak once is necessary for us to move past things like this later, however! I sat down over the weekend and had a good cry concerning my “dream” school…I think suffering that at least once or twice is what makes us realize that we might not be given what we EXPECTED, but some other alternative we are offered may be just as good or even better for us!</p>

4

<p>Thank you, chrissyblu. Your words bring comfort. It’s a hard road and I’m sure it will be a lot easier to look at it in time. Can’t wait until May 1st! Of course once this is done, I am absolutely sure that there WILL be something else to obsess over! :)</p>

5

<p>chrissyblue…I vividly recall this time last year when you were in that place. I really did think your talented daughter had a successful outcome and that realistically, she should have expected some rejections. I knew she was having a tough time seeing all that then. I think you have written a wonderful post now because now you see what we (who’ve been through it) all saw and shared last year. And so all who are going through it now, please realize that while in the thick of it, it is all consuming and full of many disappointments, but you will be happily immersed at a college next year and this stuff won’t matter. Everyone applying to BFA programs will get some rejections. Expect them. It doesn’t matter how many you get into. You can only attend one. And when you get there, none of these other rejections are going to matter to you any longer. You’ll be studying and training in theater and on your way. And your future will continue to involve numerous rejections no matter how talented you are.</p>

6

<p>Not sure what else I can add to this except that you all are incredibly wise and caring people. Thanks.</p>

7

<p>chrissyblu I’m going to print this out and save it for my D when she’s in the thick of it. It is SO generous of you to have taken the time to write this-- thank you.</p>

8

<p>I’ve been following CC thread throughout this whole process but have never posted. This post by you chrissyblu inspired me to actually write on the board. Thank you so much for this.</p>

9

<p>Friendly warning to actordudesmom…three posts today, 127 posts and counting tomorrow!! Glad to have you with us!! :)</p>

10

<p>As someone who sits on the other side of the table, these posts also give us perspective. All schools accept only a small percentage of those that apply. Which means that the existential damage we do isn’t offset by the handful of students that have been accepted. </p>

<p>It is never an easy thing to suggest that the program the student wanted to get into isn’t the right program for them. But it is necessary. The absolute reality is that no program is right for every student and the school is the best arbiter of that ability. </p>

<p>Lastly I say this. For those of you who have students in these fields this is but the first step in a lifetime of difficult moments. Rejection is an everyday part of the business and that is true for the vast majority of actors. Their job, in a few years, will be to audition. They will wait tables in the evening, get up at 6:00am, schlep to an open call, wait hours, get 90 seconds in front of a casting director, and go back to the temp job. </p>

<p>Not trying to make it sound dreadful, because it isn’t. But it is hard. It takes a toll on you. But you need that perspective to come faster than a year. So many factors go into casting that have nothing to do with talent. They did not reject your son or daughter, the schools felt that, in this given year, the class needed to be formed with a different group of students.</p>

<p>I hope all parents understand that, but more importantly I wish I could convince all students of that. That way maybe the utter disappointment might be assuaged, if only a small amount.</p>