Planting a pair of memorial trees - suggestions?

Lost my mom three weeks ago. Spent some time in the nursery on Saturday, trying to figure out what tree to plant in her memory. Leaning towards a flowering dogwood - didn’t end up buying it just yet, wanted to make sure we knew where we were going to put in in our yard.

Come Sunday - lost dad. Just unbelievable. Now thinking that we’ll get a pair of trees that we can plant somewhat close together. We have space - both in our front and back yards.

Suggestions on what might work well? We are in zone 5. Area gets a lot of sun, some shade.

@arisamp so very sorry for your losses and added to that the timing so close together. <3

The first thing that came to mind when I saw your title was dogwood. If weather cooperates, they bloom for a nice amount of time in the spring. And I’m thinking, perhaps they were blooming right about the time that your parents died.

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Dogwoods are lovely (we have quite a few in our yard), and like @abasket I also immediately thought of them upon seeing the title of your post. Just be sure that they have enough water – the root system is a bit shallow, and they can suffer during times of low rainfall.

How awful to lose both of your parents, @arisamp. I am so sorry and very impressed that at this tender stage of your grief you’re thinking about such a lovely way to remember them. I don’t have any specific tree suggestions, but I think the idea is perfect. Hugs to you.

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I am so sorry for the loss. I am guessing you are going for a smaller tree. Dogwoods are lovely. I like the native species. Flowers hang in the air. Very pretty, both white and pink. Cherokee species spread wider starts to branch out lower if you like that. Excellent for hanging Xmas ornaments. On the less common side, umbrella magnolias are a drama, huge leaves and equally huge flowers. There is also Franklinia, camellia like flowers in late summer early fall. There is also a small tidy tree, Stewartia pseudo camellia, white flowers with yellow middle. And elderberries, both purple and chartreuse with showy berries in the fall. Or rainbow redbuds. There are many small trees that prefers sun.

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I’m so very sorry for your loss.

My favorite memorial tree is a weeping cherry.

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I’m so very sorry for your losses. Lovely idea to plant trees in their memory and your choice sounds perfect.

I agree a weeping cherry would make a good memorial tree. In the same vein, a fountain beech is also a good choice with droopy leaves and stays slender and not tall. Mind you a fountain tree is NOT the same as a weeping beech. A weeping beech gets big.

I am so sorry for your loss. My suggestion would be a Japanese Maple. They are so beautiful in both the spring and fall. The weeping cherry would also be beautiful.

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Many beautiful ideas…I’ll add a star magnolia for you to consider amongst the early flowering spring trees. I am very sorry for your loss. As someone who also lost both parents close together, I began to think of and celebrate them as a single unit so you may want to consider a single tree unless you prefer honoring them individually. Follow what feels right. :purple_heart:

I would second the Star Magnolia. It’s really a lovely plant and blooms early in the spring.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Sending virtual hugs to you! I lost my Dad, then my mom, in the space of 2.5 months a few years ago - it is hard. Very hard. I never expected to be an “orphan” this soon. Good luck to you as you work on the estate. It is a big job even when it goes smoothly. I was very thankful that my sister and I worked well together despite having completely different lives and personalities. Each of our strengths complemented the other’s.

You have gotten some great suggestions. If you want to consider a shrub with multi season interest rather than a tree, perhaps look at the viburnum family. Many varieties have spring blooms, followed by berries that the birds love, and finally fall color.

Whatever you choose, I would suggest scattering a packet of forget-me-not seeds underneath this fall. They tend to reseed themselves about every year and make a cheerful blue carpet/cloud in spring. The first seedlings might not bloom until the second year. All of mine are descended from a few seedlings from my mom’s garden, and they bloom around my Dad’s birthday so I love having them.

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So sorry for your loss. What a sad time.
I immediately thought dogwood, but like some of the other suggestions too.

Sending my condolences too. Losing parents is hard, so don’t feel odd or wonder what’s wrong with you if it takes a lot of time to adjust. BTDT with both an unexpected and an expected loss - neither is “easy.”

Two trees sounds like a great way to remember them. Did they have a personal favorite type? If so, I’d go with that. If not, Dogwoods sound perfect or I personally also love Magnolias. Eastern Redbuds are super pretty too. I had one planted outside of my house and we all love it when it’s in bloom.

If you go with Dogwoods or Redbuds, you could also ring them with flowers around the bottom. Daffodils, Tulips, Lilies, etc.

Or another idea is to get two fruit trees such as mulberries, pears, or persimmon. Whatever fruit variety you get, be sure to ask for the most disease resistant varieties (especially if you go with apples). Then plant flowers like Daffodils, Crocuses, or Hyacinths around the base. These will bring early beauty in the Springtime, and the fruit trees will be a way of giving to remember your parents by, a tangible reminder of how they continue to be a blessing even after their passing.

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Thanks for the condolences and the suggestions. We do have a weeping cherry and a star magnolia already in our yard, so perhaps I’ll stick with the dogwoods. Maybe a white and a pink dogwood together, about 20ft apart.

I did see a picture of two completely different trees, planted so close that they had “fused” together - I was wondering if that was common with specific trees. But given that H and I are very much into low maintenance gardening, perhaps it is best for us to stick with two, little to no work trees like dogwoods.

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Realized I hadn’t updated this thread when I was looking for something else. Sorry about that.

We did get two trees - one is a flowering dogwood (pinkish flowers), another a flowering plum. We planted both trees in our front yard, one on either side of our driveway. The trees did survive last winter and flowered beautifully this spring, right on time for the one-year anniversary of my parents’ deaths. Nice memory and very soothing.

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