<p>I already know the walls I’m up against. And I’m not expecting the school to make changes.</p>
<p>Have you spoken to child about this? Plus, my understanding is that any arrearages of CS do NOT stop at childs majority.</p>
<p>Yes to both. We are working together as a family on this.</p>
<p>You are correct. You are not the only custodial parent who has a former spouse who either will not or cannot contribute to college costs. I know you are trying to make this work…but here is my free advice. Please remember that making it work, means making it work for FOUR years, not just this first year. If the college does not award you need based aid in lieu of the NCP contribution this year, the will not do so in the future. The college has made it clear…they are expecting the family to pick up a $30K tab. They do not care who pays that. I know you want to fulfill a dream for your child, but going into significant debt yourself is something you need to seriously consider before you say YES to this admission offer.</p>
<p>Please remember that making it work, means making it work for FOUR years, not just this first year.</p>
<p>Thumper makes an excellent point. You D may be able to cobble together a few small scholarships that are ONLY for freshman year only. That may confuse you into thinking that she’d be able to do that every year. Private scholarships are often for freshman year only. </p>
<p>I’m still shocked by the nerve of your ex to say that he would contribute generously, while being thousands behind in back child support. Shocking!</p>
<p>More to the point, would anyone actually believe an ex who says he will contribute to college when he’s 5 figures behind on child support? I sure wouldn’t.</p>
<p>Been there done that - as far as the 5 figure arrearage and college support. My difference was that my divorce decree allowed me to keep the house and pay off Ex for his equity when youngest turns 18 so I had some money over him. Through a court order I deducted the arrears from the amount I owed him from home equity (BTW I wrote the decree - no lawyer. I KNEW my Ex would get behind in payments. This was a strategic maneuver). At this point he does contribute to college expenses but is usually late so I have to plan to cover everything myself. The remaining equity is due later this year and I expect with D2 entering college in Fall 2012 I will get to balance what he owes for college with what I owe him.</p>
<p>The court should help you get some of that money more quickly. Most states have a time of nonpayment after which he will be held in contempt of court. They can automatically deduct from his paycheck, tax return etc. In my state they can take up to 80% of pay (at least it used to be). Can you file a contempt of court action and get a cash flow so you can plan your finances going forward?</p>
<p>Been there done that. NCP was held in contempt – claiming zero income in court, was found to actually have six figures worth. Very, very, very wealthy family. Don’t mean to turn this into a sob story. Just to educate myself and make some family decisions. Thank you, though.</p>
<p>*claiming zero income in court, was found to actually have six figures worth. *</p>
<p>Good heavens…aren’t people charged with perjury for such obvious lies? If not, why not? There should be a penalty for this kind of thing.</p>
<p>Can I ask…what kind of job/income does he have that he’s able to pretend that he doesn’t have a job/income?</p>
<p>Trust fund.</p>
<p>I just want to make sure I’m understanding this correctly. Your former husband has a trust fund that generates a six figure income each year, the courts know aboout this and you are unable to collect owed child support? Is that correct?</p>
<p>If the trust fund indeed nets your former husband a six figure income, you will most definitely NOT get need based aid at most colleges. Your child needs to look at schools that do not require the submission of the non-custodial parent Profile form (not all schools requiring the Profile require the NCP form). Of course, it’s well into December now so deadlines are certainly looming.</p>
<p>Another thing to remember…even MARRIED parents sometimes won’t contribute to the college costs of their kids. Even parents with very high incomes sometimes make this decision. There is no law that requires a parent to contribute to college college costs (whether the parents are still married…or not). </p>
<p>I hope your child has some other applications pending at schools that are more affordable to your family given the circumstances.</p>
<p>Thumper - in about 15 states, courts are empowered and can and do require divorced parents to pay for college. The state legislatures recognize that divorced parents are in a different situation than intact families. So please dont say that there is no law that requires a parent to pay for college. I suspect there is no law in OPs state.</p>
<p>We have such a law for divorce decrees in CT. It stipulates that the NCP can be responsible for no more than 1/2 of the cost of to attend an instate public university.</p>
<p>Kay…your post shows that the OP was actually in a better place than married parents who refuse to pay. She, however, needed to get this in her divorce decree, or go back to court and get this added in some way that it is a guaranteed payment.</p>
<p>The trouble could be with the trust. It is possible this is a family trust of some kind and the former husband is a beneficiary who receives a significant payment from the trust.</p>
<p>The thing that bothers me is that these parents…including the parent with the significant trust…did not plan for college costs. </p>
<p>It does sound like the mom could afford an instate public university with what she says she can contribute…plus perhaps a Stafford Loan. </p>
<p>I do hope they have more affordable application options pending.</p>
<p>I’m starting to think that no child from divorced parents should apply to schools that require NCP info unless the parents are on good terms and are willing to pay, the money is in a student college acct, the CP can fully pay, or the NCP has been court-order to pay.</p>
<p>When an ex has a history of being flakey and dishonest (or whatever), and his contribution is needed, then attending such a school is a big risk because during any future year, the ex can refuse to cooperate (the NCP has to do the paperwork all 4 years…not just the first.)</p>
<p>And, I agree…with such a large trust fund, the student won’t qualify for aid at any NCP school because the school is seeing that there’s a never-ending money train there.</p>
<p>Thumper, if you are a lawyer and say that is the law in CT, fine, but I would advise any divorced parent to consult a lawyer. In NY, while many parents agree to cost of state U, if they do not agree, the court can decide, and based on income of parents they will, and may require a parent to pay more. </p>
<p>I dont think one can compare divorced parents with intact families. Divorced parents may be concerned about what the other parent is paying. </p>
<p>Children of divorce have lower college attendance rates than children of intact families. Of course there are many reasons for this, but I support states which will mandate requiring parents to pay.</p>
<p>Of course any parent should consult a lawyer with regard to divorce laws in their state.</p>
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<p>I completely agree with this. The kids should not be penalized because of their parents’ divorce.</p>
<p>Im assuming this mandate will be for both married & unmarried parents?</p>
<p>I don’t believe there is currently any law requiring financial support of adult children.</p>
<p>As Thumper said in CT there is a regulation for divorced parents to pay 1/2 of UCONN if the student “would have been likely to attend college if the parents had not divorced”. There is no mandate for married parents (could you imagine!).
BTW this law does not preclude the divorcing parties from drafting a different agreement (I have seen all kinds) either requiring more or less support or basing % of support on income or any number of variations. This regulation just forces the issue to be addressed in any divorce proceeding - which is sort of the idea.One parent cannot ignore the tuition question and if they refuse to make an agreement the judge can order in accordance with the regulation.</p>
<p>In NYS a custodial parent can collect child support, including monies for college expenses from the court until the child is 21 years old. If the child has not complete college by his/her 21st birthday, they can request an extension from the court.</p>
<p>I wanted to take a minute to respond to this since others may be in the same boat… and might learn from my situation. Sorry, Sybbie719, but you were wrong. The ivy school was extremely generous and understanding of the situation, once I made the details clear — and they made it possible for my child to attend on my portion of what was due, alone. The NCP is out of the picture. That’s not a good thing, and I wish it were different, but life has things in it that are not good. What is good is that the child is thriving, happy and a sophomore at dream ivy school, getting good grades – without loans, necessary. Please don’t tell people what a university will and will not do – unless you work for them and know first hand. I’m sure others in my boat would have given up, if they’d taken your advice to heart. It’s good to be realistic, but don’t give up on your child or on the system. She was also offered a similar, very generous 4 year presidential scholarship at another school that was not an ivy, but still very good.</p>