Hey everyone,
First a little bit about myself. I’m a sophomore at an Ivy school. The tuition + room & board at my school is around $63,000. I have a need-based scholarship that covers about $46,000 (long story short the scholarship is funded by my city) so that leaves about $17,000 of fees to be paid. For this school year I took about $6,000 in federal loans and my parents paid the rest of it themselves. So both semesters of this year have already been paid for.
My problem happened to me recently. I had a falling out with my parents and basically they disowned me. They no longer agree with my life choices and and so decided that they won’t fund me anymore. That means no paying for my school or giving me any money. I don’t want to get into the drama because I want to keep my anonymity on the web.
As of right now, I am living in my dorm room and still going to classes regularly. I have enough money to survive the college life (I have a job) until summer, but I have nowhere near enough to pay for the next semester in the fall. I have a place to stay in the summer so I’m not really worried about that at the moment. I ALSO do not have any credit whatsoever. I’m 19 years old and I realize now that I should’ve signed up for a credit card when I turned 18. Anyways, with no parents to rely on as cosigners or to pay for the bill, I have to seek alternate sources for money to pay for tuition, which is about $5,500 that I need to acquire by this summer.
Does anyone know if I can borrow more than $6,000 from the federal government? Should I just apply to as many online scholarships as possible? I’ve heard about declaring independence from your parents on FAFSA but I’m not really sure if that’s possible for me in my situation. Can someone explain more about it? Would talking to my school’s financial aid office help me? Basically, what would you do if you were me? My parents refuse to help me so now as a clueless 19 year old I’ve come to the internet for help and advice.
Thanks for reading my post, I appreciate it!
Yes, go to your financial aid office. Unlikely there is more federal money, but they may have other options.
Do you have any relatives that you think would disagree with your parents regarding your life choices?
I have no solutions for you but would just like to encourage you and reassure you that however this turns our for your, just keep working hard, making good choices and everything will be ok. Two nights ago I was shopping in a local upscale market and met a fine young college student. We began talking about his course of study at the local university and he shared with me that he is “on his own”, estranged from his family. He is working, attending university (yes a public) and doing very well. You can do it too and will do it. Ivy league or state university…its all good. You are writing your won story and can be successful. Go get 'em!
Can you reconcile with your parents until you graduate?
Next year you will be able to borrow $7500.
I agree with @Madison85 , is there any way that you can reconcile with your parents? Most of the people Ivies and deep pocket schools have policies in place that if you start as a dependent student, you finish as a dependent student even if you have a life situation that makes you independent (short of the death of both of your parents). While the college may be sympathetic to your situation it is unlikely that you would get additional aid. If that were the case, everyone would be falling out/estranged from their parents.
You need ~$5k/semester after the federal student loan. You can’t borrow that on your own. If you can’t mend the fence with your parents, you’ll likely have to go get a second job. If you have to take a gap year to raise the money, will your city hold your scholarship?
Sorry to hear about your falling out. It will definitely cause you to change course. Your already aware of private loans so the other option is to increase work hours to make it work. Maybe after the summer break you will be able to work something out with your parents. they might soften. I suspect you would move back home for the summer? I would look for a full time job or work two part time jobs. Work every minute you can. In fact if your not working now, get a job quick and begin pumping out the hours. You also want a job now so you can work more hours during school breaks. The key is to work whenever you have free time. The goal is to get your Ivy league diploma. You will never recall that single social event you missed to work. it will not matter in the long run. Your degree will make all the difference in the world.
Good luck.
@prollyaskinQs I would like to strongly reiterate @twoinanddone 's comments. Especially at an Ivy league school, this is not a unique situation and they will likely have a lot of options for you. If you don’t want to have to repeat your story have your dean or a school counselor speak with them first. I work at a near Ivy school and see students like yourself on a regular basis. Once I get them to come into the office 95% of the time I can resolve their financial problems. This is one of the benefits of attending a school like you do. Please reach out for help.
To answer some of your questions directly, you cannot borrow more money from the Federal government but you probably can borrow more from the school if needed. There is a process to be declared independent on the FAFSA due to abandonment or risk of homelessness but this is pretty meaningless for you because you need more money from your school not the government. You will need to ask your school what their policy is and what documentation you need. At an Ivy league applying to outside scholarships is unlikely to net you much benefit since most will apply them towards your self help aid. Please go to Student Financial Services or Financial Aid and speak with an assistant director or counselor. They will be best able to help you with next steps.
Is this 46k need based scholarship from your city renewable every year? Will you need your parents to fill out any paperwork for you to continue with this scholarship ( you will need the FAFSA and profile in order to get need based aid from your college)
ETA: were your parents cooperative in filing for financial aid for your junior year?
Sorry to hear about your situation, OP.
It must have been pretty bad if it has gotten to the point where your parents have “disowned” you. In addition to seeking assistance from the FA office, I strongly suggest that you get assistance from a Dean or School Counselor. They are trained to help students, while they won’t be putting pressure on you to reconcile, they are skilled at getting parents and students to listen to each other. Once they explain to parents that the FA office will be able to address the financial aid issues and that you are willing to work / get additional loans / whatever the next steps entail to be independent, the parents might begin to understand the longer-term impact of THEIR choices to disown you.
I suspect that your parents wanted to control you and when they realized they can’t, as its YOUR life and your choices, they didn’t like it, and wanted to pull the financial plug out of spite, or at least as a last-ditch attempt to control you.
While it may seem impossible now, there are students in much worse situations than you are in. Chances are pretty good, though, that your school has dealt with a similar - or worse - situation previously.
That being said, if you did anything REALLY stoopid, then I can understand your parents getting upset. As a volunteer to an inner city school, I have seen a lot of young people make questionable life choices. After working with the team a little while, if became easier for me to focus on solving problems and finding solutions, getting support, instead of judging. The director I work with told me years ago that every day she wants to slap the stupid out of some of these people, but the world is a better place when we find solutions instead. One day at a time.
I hope you and your family can reconcile, if that is what is best for everyone, but if not, I wish you the best possible outcome whatever that may be.
I think the reason will also matter to your university. To give our an example, if it’s a matter of ‘I told my parents their presidential candidate was a monster and that I’d voted for the candidate they hate’, or 'I told my parents I switched from engineering to history ’ , it’s not the same as 'I came out to my parents ’ or ‘I told my parents I’d converted’. The former is a matter of difference of opinion, the latter is a matter of personal freedom and guaranteed rights. Your parents can disown you regardless but the University would likely see things differently depending on the situation. The fact they may be sympathetic to your situation may mean they’ll be more likely to help you, especially since you come with a 46k scholarship they don’t have to find for you.
You also need to start working all your work study hours and save all that money, starting now. Or, if you don’t have a job, look for one. Walmart pays $10 an hour, see if you can find better or work there (12-15 hours a week.) Depending on your major, look for a paid internship for this summer.
^ Agreed. The OP doesn’t need to give many details, but should provide the school with enough so that the school can be in a fair position to help. Depending on the situation, the student might not want to reveal details that could warrant statutory mandatory reporting to authorities - but upon request, the school will maintain confidentiality where they can.
As a fictional example purely to make a point - suppose the disagreement was because the student joined a group of activists wanting to restrict gun access, and his/her parents had a crazy arsenal stockpiled at home fearing “the gubment coming after their guns.” The Dean (or anyone else) probably would like to know a couple of those details instead of just showing up at the parents home, unannounced, knocking on their door to talk…
The school is there to help. Please let them.
Having helped a young person get a dependency overrride (which is a different thing than being legally declared independent) - here are my two cents. For starters, you will need three letters from people to attest to your situation - they need to be well written and from authority figures who know your situation well. For example, a clergy person, a counselor, a close adult friend, a professor. You will also have to write a letter detailing the situation and explaining why it can’t be remedied. This is just a start. It is not meant to be easy to get, and it isn’t, but it is possible.
I agree that you would be well suited to go talk to people at your school.
Best of luck to you!