please edit and critique my essay!

[iverson926]

<p>who woul like to help me ?</p>

[noghi_14]

<p>PM me I'll critique and comment on it :)</p>

[Darklord1117]

<p>i will give it a shot. PM me</p>

[spideyunlimited]

<p>pm me :) .. !!</p>

[Skullduggery]

<p>PM me! I love doing these things!</p>

[qwertyelmer]

<p>ill read, pm it</p>