Please grade my SAT II Writing Essay!

Test Preparation
1

<p>Consider the following statement and assignment. Then write the essay as directed.</p>

<p>"I have experienced many difficulties, but the most difficult situation I have ever had was when _____."
Assignment: Write an essay that completes the statement above. Explain the reasons behind your choice.</p>

<p>One of the hardest things to do for many people, is simply say “no” to a request. Indeed, out of all of the difficulties I have experienced, the most difficult situation was when I had to tell my best friend whom I had been tutoring a lot that I wouldn’t be able to help him so much any longer.</p>

<p>During My freshman year, my best friend, who had lived next door to me for over six years, was taking Geometry, a math class in which he met with little success. After the first month or so of school, my friend, who had never had such difficulty in school, came to me and told me how he had been getting poor grades in class and asked if I could tutor him. I agreed, and for the next month, I helped him for over an hour a day. His grades greatly improved, but such a time commitment was hard on my own school life.</p>

<p>A few weeks after the start of the second quarter, I finally decided that I had to tell my friend that I could not tutor him so much any more. My own grades had been suffering as a result of the excessive time commitment tutoring him was, and I knew I would regret it in the future if I didn’t return my focus to my schoolwork immediately. So, one day after school, I sat my friend down and spoke with him for half an hour about how I needed to start worrying about my own affairs a little more. This, of course, was very difficult for me to do. My friend had grown very dependent on my help, and cutting him off here made me feel like I was abandoning him on the side of the road. In fact, even though it might have simply been my over-sensitive nature, I felt so bad that I even cried for some time at the thought of leaving my friend in a time of need.</p>

<p>However, on hindsight, even though the situation was so difficult for me to go through and my friendship with him was injured for over six months, I felt it was a good decision to stop the excessive tutoring, and the experience left me with quite a few insights. For one, after the six months of partial animosity between my friend and I, our friendship blossomed into more than it previously had been, since my friend respected me more now and realized that I have my own needs. Also, I feel that having this experience has helped me grow as a person and prepare me for similar situations in the future. All in all, although telling my friend that I would be unable to continue helping him so much was difficult for me to do, it was a necessary thing for me to do, and eventually even led to a favorable outcome. </p>

<p>Yeah, I guess I haven't had too many difficult situations in my life, so this is all I have, as compared to the one Sparknotes provided which was something about a kid finding out his aunt had cancer...how touching.
Anyways, I would really appreciate it if you could tell me what I would get from 2-12. Thanks in advance!!</p>

2

<p>10, in my opinion....
you did a good job in expanding one example, and when i was reading it, i wasn't bored, meaning that you varied the sentences a lot and provided good transitions.</p>

3

<p>I'd peg it at nine.</p>

4

<p>I would actually say 8. It's a good narrative; you're write well. However, I think it fails to answer the prompt effectively. The prompt asks you to explain the reasons behind your choice, not write a narrative about your choice. Here and there, you mention why you did what you did: too much time, your friend was dependent, you weren't independent. You never really explain these these reasons. They seem more like a justification than an explanation. The final paragraph's good.</p>

5

<p>You have a very interesting story, but you should spend more time explaining why it was so hard, instead of telling a story. If you do that, I'm pretty sure that's about an 11 or 12.</p>

6

<p>Yeah I realized I was not answering the prompt too well about 3/4 the way in, so I just decided to conclude and do better next time. The problem is that this "difficult situation" is pretty trivial, meaning it's not really such a difficult situation as others may write about, and so there really weren't so many reasons why I had to do it, other than I needed more time to focus on my own stuff.</p>

7

<p>If I missed 5 on the MC for a raw score of 54, which according to sparknotes gives me 740 on MC part, what would I get total if the essay was around a 9?</p>

8

<p>Thanks for all the input. Anyone else??</p>

9

<p>I'd say 7, for irregular/confusing syntax, misuse of idioms, and relative lack of depth/development.</p>

10

<p>Seven? You must be talking from personal experience/knowledge because I borrowed a Kaplan book from the library about the new SAT, and according to their examples, in order to get a four, you really have to sound like a dumbass... e.g. "My most fun moment was when I with my brother, and we played basketball, and it was fun, because we scored alot."</p>

11

<p>I agree with the 7...maybe 8, I don't know how the system works.</p>

12

<p>I think, with your writing ability, your essay has the potential to earn a 10+. I think you responded to the prompt well, but your conclusion must be changed to hit the reader really hard. Try to write persuasively and make your point, especially in your conclusion. I think your last paragraph is the weakest part of your essay, because it is antithetical to your whole argument, which gives the reader, at least me, reason to question your writing skills.</p>

<p>Writing about a personal experience allows you to speak poignantly, and you should take advantage of that. I did and earned a high writing score, even though my essay had a couple of grammatical mistakes.</p>

<p>Your essay as it is should earn 7-9. Lower would be ludicrous; higer, well.. you wouldn't because of your conclusion, only.</p>

13

<p>too much narrative. reflect on the reasons not the course of action. You do write well however, so i think 7 is too harsh. </p>

<p>This could get 8-10 points, imo.</p>