Please grade my TOEFL essay

<p>Topic: In some classes, course grades are based solely on exams , while in other classes grades are based more on class participation than on exams.Which type of grading do you prefer?
There are two ways of grading students’ performance in scholastic subjects.Grading could be based on participation in group discussions of the study material or scores on exams.I agree that grades should rely more on class participation than scores of exams.
Primarily class participation deepens understanding of the study material.Because students can hear different questions by their peers that may draw their attention to points they may have not considered.Group discussion of the material fixes the information in students’ minds and offers them a higher level of learning.Students would be more able to remember the definition of a term or the contents of a theory if they hear different comments and questions on them. Thus discussion asserts the information and assures accurate understanding.This will indeed enable students to score better on exams because they were offered more flexible learning.
Class participation is more efficient in the learning process because it enhances different skills.It stimulates students to better their speaking skills.Students who are reluctant about sharing their thoughts or doubts in front of a group will be obliged to speak to get credit.In the process of participating students will try to better their ways of asking questions or demonstrating their opinions or information.This will certainly aid students and prepare them for their vocational lives.Also group discussions will help widen the perspectives of students if each person was allowed to express his/her opinion on a certain scholastic topic.Students from various backgrounds will express their opinions which will instigate debates and enhance acceptance of diversity.Students will benefit a lot on the personal level as on the academic one.
In brief, participation in group discussion should certainly be an aspect in grading the students’ level in subjects.Determining grades this way does not only enhance the learning process but also stimulates students to better other skills and widen their perspective.Thus the learning process will be more comprehensive because it prepares students academically and personally to their vocational lives.</p>

<p>Seeing how it’s a persuasive essay, you seriously need to work on having a very strong introduction paragraph. I’m not familiar with the TOEFL at all, hence I can’t grade it and can’t give you many tips, but your intro is definitely weak. You need to add a little bit of more vague rambling in the intro. The body paragraphs/conclusion are short too, but that’s understandable since I don’t see how much more you can say. I don’t know about the format of the essay, but I think a 5-paragraph format with a strong thesis and transition sentences would be nice.</p>