Please grade. Sat in 7 days

<p>Someone, anyone, please?
Assignment: Is it necessary for people to imitate others before they can become original and creative? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>A Chinese proverb once said “Imitation is the highest form of flattery.” But, is this really true in modern society? The world today places more and more emphasis on conformity, which makes it increasingly important to be original. In fact, it is completely unnecessary to imitate others in order to break new grounds and be creative.
History has proven to us that it is best to be original rather than to imitate. Harriet Beecher Stowe grew up in a time of inequality. Black Americans were abused. Black Americans were mocked. Black Americans were subordinate. Although the slavery issue was extremely prevalent in the society, many politicians choose to ignore the issue and remain neutral in order to receive votes from both the North and the South. Stowe saw the wrong-doing around her and chooses to speak up, at a time when no one else would. Stowe wrote the novel Uncle Tom’s Cabin, which sold hundreds of thousands of copies in its first year of publication. Stowe’s book brought the ever important slavery issue to center stage. If Harriet Beecher Stowe had chosen not to be original and write about the racial injustices all around her, perhaps the slavery issue would have never been addressed.
Current events also prove to us that it is better to be original then to imitate others. In the year 1996 Bill Gates dropped out of college. Most scorned him for dropping out, telling him that he will never be successful without a college degree. Gates simply shrugged this off stating that college was not for everyone. Today, Gates is one of the richest people in the world, known for developing the personal computer and email and is also one of the world’s most generous philanthropists. If Gates had simply conformed to society, and gone to college just like everyone else he would have never had time to develop the personal computer, and he would have definitely not been as successful as he is today.
Current events also show us the dangers of conformity. On a sunny day in 2008, Phoebe Prince walked into school on the very first day. Prince was the new girl. She had just moved to a small Massachusetts town from Ireland, and could not be more excited to start school. 5 short months later Prince killed herself because of relentless bullying from her peers. During the lawsuit that followed Prince’s suicide, 8 teens were tried. 2 were the “direct” bullies, the ones that had initiated the teasing and the other 6 simply joined in because their friends were doing it. If these six children had chosen not to imitate their friends, and had instead stopped the bullying or even just didn’t participate, Phoebe might be alive today.
As seen through current events and history, it is always better to be an individual and “dance to the beat of your own drum” instead of conforming to society our your peers. If everyone simply imitated those around them, how would the world ever develop?</p>

<p>I would probably give it a 5, but that’s not necessarily what the graders would give it.</p>

<p>You have developed an adequate sense of style that is portrayed throughout the essay, so that is good. Your intro and conclusion were good! Most of your grammar was perfect, and although there were a few minor errors, the judges will not grade you down on that. The examples made sense to the points you were proving. </p>

<p>Knowing that you did all those things right, there are a few things you could change/improve. Now, remember this is only my opinion, so don’t take this offensively and don’t take the advice if you don’t agree with it. First, it seems you answered the essay prompt a little bit off-topic. It is asking whether you think imitation is necessary for a person to become original. You answered that a person should be original. However, how does this apply to the second part of the question? (that’s the question you should answer in your essay… it would be a quick fix)</p>

<p>What I’m saying doesn’t really make sense, and I’m having trouble trying to explain what I’m thinking right now… maybe someone else will explain it better. Now I’m just confusing myself, because looking back you seem fairly on-topic. I guess what I’m just trying to say is make sure you completely and fully stay on-topic and answer the question very specifically. Your answers show that you should be original, but other than the Gates example, it doesn’t really show examples of creativity. I think my point still isn’t making sense though…</p>

<p>Additionally, the Phoebe Prince example is an adequate example, but I’m not sure it completely applies. The last sentence does explain how imitation relates to it, so maybe just add that in earlier so the reader understands a little better where the example is going.</p>

<p>Haha, I am so sorry for this confusing reply. It was a good essay though!</p>

<p>thank you, anyone else?</p>