Please Help a Confused, Overwhelmed High School Senior

College Search & Selection
1

Hello all,

I’m a high school senior interested in majoring in Chemical Engineering. I have narrowed my list down to MIT, Princeton, and Rice. Decision day is May 1, so I’m definitely running out of time. Everyone keeps telling me that MIT is wonderful, has the best engineering reputation, and I’d be crazy to turn it down. Admittedly, I visited for CPW and had an amazing time; I connected with people, and I felt at home in a way. I didn’t visit Princeton, but I did visit Rice, and I had a wonderful time there as well. Generally, I’d love to attend MIT. The name recognition, variety of opportunities, and environment are unique in a way that makes it especially difficult to turn down. Don’t get me wrong. This doesn’t mean I’ve already subconsciously decided on MIT. I had just as great a time at Rice. However, my major reservation about MIT is its intensity. Is it really that bad? Will I fail all my classes unless I study 24 hours a day and even then only earn C’s? What’s the point of attending a world-renowned university if I’ll only graduate with a 2.0 GPA or perpetually be at risk of flunking out? The students didn’t seem overworked or too stressed during CPW, but people have hinted at this being some sort of act they put on for the event? Princeton seems to have a strong engineering department as well, but I’ve heard it’s more theoretical and less hands on? Also, I am a middle-class African-American from the South, and I’ve been warned of Princeton’s pretentious vibe and lack of diversity. Rice students seem especially happy, but it is a smaller school, and I doubt it has similar name recognition or quality of opportunities as Princeton or MIT? I’m running out of time and losing my mind. My crippling fear of making the wrong choice has left me unable to make a decision. I’d really appreciate some advice and guidance here.

2

You can do the work at any of these schools. If you were admitted, you are prepared to do the work. Chem engineering is intense at ANY school. But you can do it. Here are some questions:
What, if any, is the price difference between these schools?

Do you prefer an urban or suburban environment?
Where do you live? Do you have to consider travel expenses?
Any possible way you can visit Princeton on Tuesday? If you live in the NY/NJ/PA area maybe you can take a ride.

3

Price and travel are not factors here, as I’ve been aware full cost of attendance to each. I’m truly open to any environment. I know most people have a certain preference, but I do not. If it makes a difference, I’ve lived in a suburb outside of Atlanta my whole life.

4

Congratulations on your admissions success!!

Now take a deep breath, and imagine that only one of these three schools had admitted you, along with a couple of your safeties. Wouldn’t you be thrilled beyond belief? Wouldn’t you choose that university in an instant? That’s because ALL of these three options are fantastic. You can’t make a “wrong choice” here. Take another deep breath. What a great place to find yourself.

You need to reframe your thinking from fear-based to empowerment. Currently, you are making this decision from a place of weakness rather than strength. You are doubting yourself as a student and as a decision-maker. There is no reason for this. Princeton, Rice, and MIT didn’t make a mistake in admitting you. They each know their own programs and understand you as a student. They know you will succeed! You should definitely have the same confidence in yourself. Choose the program/university that feels right to you, and don’t look back.

I could stop here, but it seems to me that you could use a bit more support. You wrote, “My crippling fear of making the wrong choice has left me unable to make a decision.” A lot of people understand, on a very personal level, exactly what you’re describing. It’s up to you to reframe this decision in your own mind. You will be just fine, no matter which school you choose. All three options are excellent. And there will be drawbacks to any school. That won’t make it “wrong,” it will just make it real, because no program or university is perfect, and that’s okay.

All of that being said, here’s what I think I’m hearing from you:

*MIT pro:
You hear the university is wonderful
You feel supported (almost pressured) in a decision to choose it
You are confident in its prestige and the opportunities it would offer
You enjoyed your visit and connected with the students
The students you met didn’t seem particularly stressed out
Superior engineering reputation
Unique environment that appeals to you
*MIT con:
Fear that it will be too intense
Fear that the students were all putting on an act when you visited and were actually highly stressed out
Fear that you will have to study 24/7, will barely pass your classes, and may flunk out
Summary: Tons of positives; no concrete negatives. You know it’s a great option, but your imagination is running wild, making it hard to see clearly. Can you call and ask to speak with a current student, and bluntly ask questions about your specific concerns?

*Princeton pro:
Strong engineering dept
Prestige
*Princeton con:
Possibly more theoretical program/less hands-on
Reputation for lack of diversity
Rumors of pretentious vibe
Summary: Opinion is hindered by the fact that you haven’t visited (can you possibly make it happen in a single day?) The theoretical vs. hands-on nature of the program is important to you — can you call and get additional information about this? Meanwhile, you feel this is a great school but that the potential pretentiousness and lack of diversity may make your experience much less pleasant. It’s hard to know the extent of these potential problems (or how much you’ll actually care once you’ve settled there.) Information is power, and you need more on every level about this option. Use today to get more information,

*Rice pro:
You enjoyed your visit
Students seem especially happy
Smaller school (or was this a negative for you?)
*Rice con:
Potentially lower prestige (although still very high)
Less name recognition
You believe there are probably fewer opportunities
Summary: From what you’ve written, it sounds like you would have been very happy here IF you had not been admitted to MIT or Princeton, but that you would have trouble feeling good about turning the others down in favor of Rice.

I don’t know these programs, and am simply trying to summarize what you’d written. You may have many more thought about these options.

In the end, my own main messages to you would be the following:

  1. have confidence in yourself and your abilities, and know that none of these admissions offices made a mistake in admitting you. They know you and they know their programs, and they are confident that you will succeed.

  2. use today to get as much specific additional information as possible, paying particular attention to your areas of concern. Information is power.

  3. know that you CAN’T make a wrong choice here. Thousands of students go through these wonderful programs. Every university and every program has uniquely wonderful aspects and as well as drawbacks, and that’s okay. Wherever you go, you’ll experience both, and both will help you to grow as a student and as a person.

Good luck with your information-gathering. Have confidence in yourself and your decision. Enjoy the fantastic program/university you choose, whichever it ends up being!

5

For someone with crippling anxiety, the college system at Rice sounds like what the doctor ordered. Also always scores very highly on “students from all classes and races interact easily”. The climate and culture will be familiar. I’m sure there are great opportunities for chemical engineering in Houston.
It’s okay to say no to both Princeton and MIT.

6

Take Princeton out of the mix. Don’t choose a school you haven’t visited just because you feel the name is prestigious. If you really, really cared about Princeton, you’d have made the effort to see it.

You liked MIT and Rice. It seems to me that your reasons for not wanting to say no to MIT are guided by fear, and your reasons for wanting to say yes to Rice are guided by genuinely liking it. You’re going to major in chemical engineering and will be able to get a great job wherever you like. I’d choose the place you feel you’ll be happiest.

7

Princeton and Rice have the best quality of life reports. I’d pick between the two. Yes, MIT is intense and has a lot of very focused tech people there which gives it a whole other atmosphere.

I think Rice is the nicest college I’ve ever visited. Princeton has every bit of MIT prestige if not more and is considered a lot warmer in terms of environment. So I’d go there.

8

You can do the work. Have confidence in your abilities. You’ve already achieved a great thing. No reason to worry that you’ve peaked.

Great choices. No wrong answer. You mention you don’t really have a locale preference. Think a bit more about that as they are quite different. Cambridge is an awesome place with it’s own culture. Boston is literally next door (5 -10 minutes on the T). All the high tech companies in the area.

9

I agree about Rice being nice! I’ve visited both MIT and Rice and would pick Rice, myself (I’m a structural engineer). But you need to decide what’s best for you. Good luck!

10

I may muddy the water here OP and I’m sorry in advance.

My daughter is a chem e but not interested at all in the petroleum/fuel side of the industry. She didn’t look at some great schools in TX because the industry ties were too skewed and stronger with the gas and oil companies. You may want to look at the industry relationships and career outcomes for Rice chem es depending on your interests.

I think you may have more breathe of companies recruiting from MIT. (I also would take Princeton off the list since you weren’t able to visit).

I will also echo the sentiments of not letting fear stop you from making a decision. Chem E is going to be rigorous anywhere. The fact that you got into these amazing programs mean they all think you will succeed.

You can’t make the wrong decision here.

11

@john963red if you want to be an engineer (and not a premed) your GPA isn’t as critical so MIT if you liked it would be fine; these schools don’t take people who can’t handle it. If you want something maybe a bit less intense but still have the options Princeton is a great choice. (remember at Princeton 15% of the class is recruited athletes with much lower scores; a decent percent of legacies and donors; whereas MIT recruited athletes have to make it through the first cut on their own). Not to knock princeton, some of their sports teams are perennial top30 in D1.

12

I wouldn’t pick Princeton without a visit, either.

2 kids from S17’s class are engineering majors at MIT now. Both top 10 in a class of 250 or so, but neither were val or sal; neither had any special research or things along those lines. Both just smart, solid students. I think MIT doesn’t give grades freshman year to avoid the whole over-stressed thing. I know the girl at MIT is playing sports, frequently visits high school friends at Providence and Northeastern; she definitely isn’t holed up studying 24/7.

It’s intimidating, but if you got in, you can do it! Really, no wrong decision. You have excellent options and you will do great wherever you land! Good luck! Let us know what you decide!

13

Its 10 years later…

Would you rather:

Have tried to go to MIT and succeeded or failed

or

Taken a safer route and have more chance of definitely doing okay?

Also maybe check out some MIT student blogs
https://mitadmissions.org/blogs/bloggers/student-bloggers/

14

bopper, that’s a great link! I especially enjoyed this post, and think it might be helpful to OP:

https://mitadmissions.org/blogs/entry/life-changing-classes-at-mit/

15

All 3 are tip top schools known nationally for engineering, so graduating from any of them with an engineering degree will set you up for life.

Once that is established, I’d look at which will be most manageable. Although engineering will be tough at all 3, the workload at MIT is legendary for being ridiculously difficult, which is perfect for people who love to study as much as they love breathing…not so good for others. Princeton is also known to be intense academically, and as it has one of the best engineering programs in the Ivy League, it attracts some of the most talented students in the country. Advantage, Rice.

Winter in the north seems to last 6 months these days. One of my kids recently finished a bachelor’s degree in the north (froze for 4 years) & is now a grad student in Texas–the kid can’t stop talking about how much more fun life is when it’s warm the entire school year. Advantage, Rice.

I don’t know if you have spent much time in the northeastern section of the country. I spent my early years in the Midwest, & moved to the Northeast early in my high school years. It was quite a culture shock…people laughing at my accent, people being offensively blunt, people being clueless about any other part of the country except maybe California…even little courtesies like holding doors open for each other seemed too much for them. And all of this is rationalized because, well, the whole world revolves around the Northeast, so if they do something , it must be right. Advantage, Rice.

16

Due to size, age, location and undergrad focus, Rice has less name recognition but all three of these colleges are equally great. If you like Rice better, financial package is good, chemical engineering is the goal then by all means go to Rice. It really adds to the experience and the outcome if you feel you belong there. Rice is more diverse, welcoming and inclusive so it’s easier to feel at home and thrive.

As far as feeling intimidation, if you can academically fit in at one, you can do it at other two as well, all three are equally rigorous.

17

Congrats on having 3 great choices! College is more of a whole life experience, and so I suggest you set aside the Chem E major for a moment and let your mind wander into the rest of your personality, likes and dislikes, and areas of comfort that can influence your decision.

Start by making some logical lists. What do you do for fun now, when you are not studying? And is it feasible to do that kind of activity at each school? Look at the dorm/suite situation at each school, are there housing shortages that will require triples in a double room? What are food choices on campus? (My D wanted to know how close Walmart and Chick fila were from a campus as she searched for her college.) Can you actually get to the cafeteria easily from your dorm and from the part of campus where most of your Chem E classes will be held? Does the school offer the kind of intramural sports you like? Where do kids hang out on campus? Are they a hammocking kind of place (and is that important to you?)

How easily can you get off campus, and what is close by to campus? Are you a drinker, partier, do you want Greek life? And does your school offer Greek Life, is it dominated by Greek Life, and would that bother you if you are not into Greek Life?

Are you a granola crunchy eco-friendly kind of person? Think about your personality and the kind of people you would be drawn to for friendships. Which school seems to be attractive to the kinds of friends you would like to have?

How hard is it to get registered for the classes you want each semester? Read up on the professors in your Chem E department, what research are they doing? Where are alumni from each school working now? Are most students going on to post grad degrees, or jumping into the job market? What is each school’s percentage of graduating Chem Es getting jobs quickly?

18

Although the OP in the following thread is a native Texan and is keenly attracted to staying local, the Rice v. Princeton v. MIT dilemma is the same. In case it’s helpful: http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/1988702-princeton-vs-mit-vs-rice-please-help-p1.html

19

And another: http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/1979089-rice-vs-mit-vs-princeton.html

20

And finally: http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/1483119-princeton-vs-rice.html