<p>LB: read this--it's on the front page of the NY Times today:</p>
<p>Thedad. You must have missed some of my early posts in which I listed the 7-9 schools D will be applying. They are well balanced: 3 reaches, 3-4 matches, and 2 safeties. </p>
<p>I am pushing my D to do her best, and we will both be perfectly fine if D has done her best but ends up in her safety. </p>
<p>With a very high probability of becoming a NMF, D will at least get into Ohio State (we are in state) with a large merit aid. OSU is not bad at all.</p>
<p>Instead of trying to mold our kids to fit the profiles of schools that we want, we should look for schools that fit the profiles of the students we have.</p>
<p>LB - </p>
<p>I think I missed the post that listed your d's schools. </p>
<p>I hope Rice and UNC-Chapel Hill are a couple of those schools. Everytime you describe your d and her accomplishments, I can't help thinking Rice University or UNC would be perfect. For Rice, since she is out of state, her scores as they stand now may be just fine. (It's just the Houston kids who need to have 2300s plus #1 ranking... ;) ) UNC-CH will probably need a bit better CR scores, but your d has time to get 'em on the October exam. </p>
<p>At any rate, both schools are great for pre-meds (but also have many other strong programs), offer merit money and are great buys compared to WUSTL, Duke or Ivys.</p>
<p>
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having perfect everything INCREASES the chance of being admitted
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<p>This is what I would question when it comes to standardized testing and grades.</p>
<p>Perfection in testing and grades at what cost?</p>
<p>When perfection is the goal, children can become fearful and unwilling to think on their own, unwilling to try, unwilling to be themselves, lest they fall short of (someone's idea of) perfection. When a single quarter grade of B is a family crisis--when a child simply refuses to take another high school course in the department in which that one B was earned--when a child rules out entire professions because of one grade or one course in high school--it gives rise to the question: is the child so fearful of imperfection that he/she shies away from anything in which success is not foreordained, nearly guaranteed?</p>
<p>Because: the child who shies away from such things is going to tend to present a tentative, cliched, less-than-it-could-be college application. And that child is going, all else equal, to be less likely to be admitted to the elite schools. </p>
<p>And, far more important than any college, that child faces the possibility of being tentative, of feeling inadequate and insecure, of becoming and feeling different from his/her authentic self, for a large part of his/her life. And therefore of not attaining his/her own, unique happiness, and of not achieving and being all that he/she could otherwise do and be.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Because: the child who shies away from such things is going to tend to present a tentative, cliched, less-than-it-could-be college application. And that child is going, all else equal, to be less likely to be admitted to the elite schools.
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</p>
<p>You're jumping on lb and you don't even see the irony in this statement. At least lb is honest.</p>
<p>wecandothis -- If only DS1 would EAT pizza....he doesn't do chicken, hamburgers, fish, tomatoes in any form, potatoes, fries, ramen noodles, any cheese except cheddar...finding a school with a meal plan and choices so that he won't starve is a VERY real concern. DS2 would happily grab a slice of cold pizza on the way out the door (he's my defensive lineman), but Ds2 jokes that his older brother barely consumes the calories allowed by the Geneva Conventions (not that we don't try!).</p>
<p>LB, you should read the following taken from another CC tread- maybe then you might realise the potential cost of your unrelenting push for "perfection" in your daughter.</p>
<p>"When you mentioned that you knew a boy from your church who stepped in front of a train, and he was "the last one you ever thought would do such a thing," your words struck a chord with me.</p>
<p>Students and parents should realize that there are many hurting and depressed students out there whose "hurt" stems from pressure relating to high school and college issues. Often, it is the highest-achieving students who feel this way. They might have a lot of self-imposed pressure and/or outside pressure. They often set the bar so high that they feel worthless if they fail to accomplish their lofty goals. For some, perfection is the only acceptable thing. Many times, because they don't like to show their feelings outwardly, these students are viewed by their parents and peers as the happiest students and the ones who "have their act together" or "have it all." Parents must be very sensitive to this, and recognize that, for many adolescents, every day is a pressure cooker."</p>
<p>"when a child rules out entire professions because of one grade or one course in high school"</p>
<p>Hey ADad, you also missed the fact that a child may rule out entire professions because they aren't on the parentally-approved shortlist (doctor, scientist/engineer, lawyer, or...if you MUST...business). When a parent denigrates majors or fields of work that the child is interested in, that also can inhibit the child from being his/her authentic self. What child wants to feel like he/she is useless in his/her parents' eyes? I've struggled for years convincing myself that the work that my father views as "worthless" (i.e., anything that doesn't involve engineering) actually has value. Not a fun thing to be dealing with along with all the other grown-up transition stuff after graduation.</p>