<p>From my observations, neither side of this debate is solely the “slayer” nor the “victim”. Both sides have flung their poop at the other. Both have been hit and then wailed of their innocence. This topic can only continue to go on if both sides have respect for the other. However, I simply don’t see the point of continuation due to the lack of objectivity and respect. The conclusion seems to be a “agree to disagree” with a baseline of respect for those who achieve. At the end of the day, those parents, no matter what institution, have raised a kid who is continuing their education.</p>
<p>Niquii, this topic is the bread and butter of CC. It will live on.</p>
<p>I meant thread.
This thread can only continue to go on if both sides have respect for the other.</p>
<p>There comes a point where the posters in the thread at a given time have no meaningful conversation and at that time, the thread ultimately becomes a shouting match full of point fingers and backtracking. If that is what you are for, TheGFG, continue on, as long as you know your efforts are wasted.</p>
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<p>^^This. My situation and thoughts exactly.</p>
<p>That’s great, coureur. My kids’ priorities haven’t led them to the top colleges in the world, but if they become interested in them later they can always choose one for grad school. ;)</p>
<p>^ Good one!</p>
<p>In the neighboring state where I grew up, people on the whole seemed less inclined to express their opinions about others’ decisions. They figured it was none of their business, and if you didn’t ask for advice then they had nothing to say. They may have discussed your foolishness privately, but if they did you didn’t know it. When I first moved here I was taken aback at how bold people were to say all kinds of things. One of the first shockers was when a woman I had just met at the previous toddler swim class told me my new hair cut wasn’t flattering. I practically ran to the mirror, because I figured it had to look really and truly awful for someone to make that kind of comment to a stranger. Now I understand there’s a little different culture here. I think this offering of opinions is supposed to mean you are liked and accepted, and worthy of their interest. I could be wrong.</p>
<p>Fast forward 20 years. D is in the college search phase. This acquaintance came up to me and said, “Do you know where your daughter should go to college?” Before I could answer, he said the name of the school and explained his reasoning. Very odd.</p>
<p>I think there’s some good advice on here of what to say about admissions results. And if you can’t say anything nice, then just smile and nod. Anything more might be misconstrued or inadvertently hurtful.</p>
<p>"Quote:
Originally Posted by MiamiDAP<br>
The point about many privates and much more about Ivy’s and other elites that D. has pointed to us many time over, that kids who gradute from these top places many times are not as socially developed and mature, they are not connecting easily to others. </p>
<p>This is garbage. "
-Amazing. This kind of comments were exactly what D. was pointing to. Apparently, I was incorrect saying that everybody will eventually mature.</p>
<p>What kind of response had you hoped that comment would elicit? By bringing it back up again, where do you anticipate the conversation going from here?</p>
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<p>Not to mention that your daughter’s flat-out wrong. Ivies and other “elites” are usually more diverse than their local public counterparts. The percentages of students on financial aid are higher, as are the percentages of minority students.</p>
<p>Here’s a post comparing minority numbers at a few Ivies with their state flagship counterparts.
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-confidential-cafe/1510423-what-school-has-smartest-people-4.html#post16313809[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-confidential-cafe/1510423-what-school-has-smartest-people-4.html#post16313809</a></p>
<p>Sue, in this case it is difficult to conclude that it is anything but sour grapes or aggressive anti-intellectualism.</p>
<p>I don’t have a kid at an Ivy League school and I think public schools can serve students quite well, but I hate to see these kinds of myths perpetuated.</p>
<p>The habit of looking down at others as inferiors because they did not attend the top Elite school is pretty evident in this discussion. There are exceptions. D. has learned to stay away from some and be a friend with others. She made shut up several times in the same exact manner as you have shut me up. There is not much more to say here.</p>
<p>“Ivies and other “elites” are usually more diverse than their local public counterparts. The percentages of students on financial aid are higher, as are the percentages of minority students.”
-I did not mean at all financial diversity or racial diversity and you perfectly understan that. In fact, there is a certain minority that is overrepresented at every selective place, from the very selective HS’s thru selective Med. Schools. I can only aplaud them, huge kuddos to this hard working group as long as they do not behave as superior human biengs. I have absolutely nothing against them, the hardest working people on our planet.</p>
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<p>Oh, stop it. No one here who attended an elite school or who had kids who did “look down on those who don’t attend elite schools as inferiors.” Find a quote, or retract.</p>
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This is true. They are called “smart people.” For some reason, this fact continues to be annoying to some people.</p>
<p>It is more and more apparent from this thread, that if one decided not to attent at Elite, then she / he is plain stupid. This is the message here, this is the message that my D. is trying very hard to stay away from and not let it change her ways of treating very different people. Yes, everybody needs to be treated with respect, not only doc. but also a nurse. And they are not. it is clear where it is coming from and the only way is to keep in mind is that snaobby comments are reflection on the commenter and nobody else…Best wishes!</p>
<p>There are lots of smart people at non-elite colleges, and there are people at elite colleges who are stupid in significant ways. My point is just that, on average, the selective colleges have more academically smart people. That fact troubles some folks, for some reason.</p>
<p>Didn’t I post somewhere on this very thread that I elected to go to a large, public research university, rather than MIT or Some Ivy, quite a long time ago? Perhaps it was only on other threads in the CC forum. I am not “plain stupid.” There are, of course, days when I suspect I might be “elaborately stupid.” 
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<p>I have encountered a few people who have “Elite” degrees, and are rather snobbish, as MiamiDAP alleges, although this has been the exception in my experience. Perhaps the most blatant was one who announced, “When people in my neighborhood hear about a Rhodes Scholar from [insert QM’s university], they just laugh.”</p>
<p>QM is many things, but stupid ain’t one of them.</p>
<p>when you factor out predictors (like socio-economic status of parents) are ivy under-grads more or less successful then under-grads from state flagships?</p>
<p>^ Good question, momneeds2no.</p>