Please read my college essay?! "Where do you feel most content"

<p>I am a Lady Dragon </p>

<p>Me: B+
Her: A+
Me: High School
Her: College Graduate
Me: Shy and anti-social
Her: Outgoing </p>

<p>For years, it felt as though I had been in a fight-to-the-death-I’m-better-than-you competition with my older sister. Once I began attending high school, the cut-throat competition became even worse. Instead of racing to the L train to get home and show my parents my report card, I began finding ways to avoid that situation altogether. For the first time, I was no longer on the same level as my sister. I really didn’t know who I was anymore. </p>

<p>After a couple years of struggling with my grades, I decided that I needed a change. Besides, isn’t high school supposedly the best 4 years of your life? It was then that I decided to join a team. In the beginning of junior year, I tried out for the step team. It was particularly nerve-wracking because my school’s step team is responsible for the echo of hundreds of voices yelling their name at each and every competition. For quite some time, I thought to myself, “I’ll never make it.” However, I quickly proved myself wrong when I saw my name on the list of students who were accepted onto the team. </p>

<p>Once I joined the team, I felt like an equal for the first time in years. I was finally amongst a group of people who were equally exceptional at this hobby. After just a few weeks on the team, the thought of going to practice after school gave me a sense of relief. Every Tuesday and Thursday, we began by stretching and then running from the large 7th floor cafeteria, littered with empty milk boxes and discarded napkins, to the maze-like basement and back up. Despite the challenging physical activities being on the team requires, practice still felt exhilarating. Throughout the entire year, I spent extra hours learning and rehearsing steps in order to become a part of the competition team and represent my school in shows and competitions throughout the nation. Eventually, in the beginning of my senior year I made it. </p>

<p>It wasn’t until I joined the competition team that I truly started appreciating my position on the step team. Practice went from being only Tuesdays and Thursdays to everyday, and surprisingly, it didn’t feel like a burden to me. I shortly realized that it was simply because being on the team is like eating your favorite popsicle on a hot summer day; nothing short of pure happiness.
Step practice was and will continue to be an outlet for me to release the everyday stresses of being a high school student. Not only has my being on the team made me happier, my accomplishments on the team have also given my parents a reason to be proud of me. More importantly, the constant comparisons between my sister and I were slowly dwindling down. </p>

<p>Thinking back, I don’t know how my high school career would have turned out if I hadn’t joined the step team. Participating in this activity proved itself incredibly meaningful to me because for a long time, I felt inadequate. Instead of the 90’s that were once engraved into my report, I started seeing 70s and 80s.For the first time in years, I no longer felt inferior to my sister. I was able to prove to myself that in spite of my negative thinking, I actually am good at something. The step team inspired me to go after what I really want instead of just giving up. The step team gave me the hope that I was desperately searching for for so long.</p>

<p>Drop the sister. I suppose she creates a little background or context for what follows, but (a) it’s not needed and (b) it gives the false impression that sister will play a much larger role in the essay.</p>

<p>thanks so much for your feedback. my only concern is that my teacher really liked the intro, so if i drop the background info about my sister, won’t i have to re-write the entire intro?</p>