Post Vax Life

I am invited to a dear friend’s daughter’s engagement party this weekend. Knowing the family, I am sure there will be a ton of people there, and while held at someone’s home, I would guess it will be both inside and outside. Husband and I will arrive with mask on, and it would not surprise me if we are the only ones wearing one. While the event includes dinner, if we are not comfortable with the setup, we will stay for a bit and possibly leave, or stay and not eat.

I expect my friend will not understand our decision. While her immediately family is vaccinated, I will not know the status of other guests. Besides, my friend and her family have never stopped traveling or going out to restaurants since the start of the pandemic; how they all avoided not getting Covid is a surprise to me. Just last weekend there were 2 different pre wedding parties for this same daughter; pictures showed inside dinners both nights with different people in attendance. The weekend before there was an out of town shower. How I wish I could wake up tomorrow with a fever or migraine so I could have a reason not to go; it would be easier to deal with my friend :scream:

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I’d tell her you can’t go. No need to explain. If you absolutely feel compelled tell her you don’t feel well. (Bc you don’t feel well about the idea of going!! :wink:)

And real friends should never give you a hard time about a choice. Friends can agree to disagree and to make different choices.

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So frustrated we are still dealing with these issues. Before vaccines, we would weigh, consciously or not, what risks we would take. Who was so important we would risk Covid to see them? For me it was father and kids. Others I would meet outside, but keep your distance. H agreed in theory, but when people would want to see us, I could see him want to make exceptions for old friends. I was always the bad guy reminding him of the risk and spoiling the fun. Our family and close friends are vaxxed. Man, it must be tough to deal with unvaxxed family.

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H’s family doesn’t live nearby, and when we do visit, it’s at MIL’s assisted living facility. Visitors have to wear masks there. It’s just this trip that has been an issue. I am so sick of all of this, and I would love to just “get on with it,” as H’s family thinks we should. But I don’t want Covid, and I don’t want to give it to others (especially my GD). I just don’t understand why it’s so darn divisive to wear a mask.

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@123Mom123 I wish it were that easy with this friend; her wrath runs deep. She is great as a friend, just don’t get on her :poop: list; she is one tough cookie, and the world revolves around her feelings. It is a big deal to her that her daughter is getting married, so for me, or anyone, to turn down an invite over a fear would be beyond her comprehension.

I did want to discuss this with her a few weeks ago, but I have been busy with work and she with wedding plans, so she didn’t return my call. Or at least I wanted to get a feel for what the set up would be and how many people were coming. I hate lying to her, but not sure at this point I can tell her the true!

The party was not as bad as I thought it would be. While it was inside, the house was big enough to spread out most of the time. There were about 40 people there with 2 people wearing masks, my husband and myself! We took them off to eat, which didn’t take long, and put them right back on. I did keep mine off when talking to my friends mother as she is deaf in one ear and needs to be able to read lips.

Glad I went and avoid an issue with my friend.

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Was thinking of you this weekend and I was happy to see your update. Am glad it wasn’t as uncomfortable as you anticipated. It’s hard to miss out on social events. I know. But if you were able to attend one with minimal distress then that is success.
Life is short. Whatever we do to get through another day with as little as sadness, hurt, anger, (etc whatever the emotion) is valid in my book! :cherry_blossom::hibiscus:

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I am fortunate that family and friends in my area are fully vaccinated so we aren’t dealing with any sticky situations there.

But we do have 2 friend couples in a rural area a few hours away that are not vaccinated. We don’t see them. I find myself avoiding going there because I don’t want to deal with going there and not telling them we are there and not seeing them. I get irritated with myself - why should not enjoy a weekend away? Why am I being a wuss - I should go and so what if I don’t contact them to get together? I should be able to just say I am not comfortable hanging out with non-vaxxed people. But I guess I just know the reality is that I am expected to respect their choices, but they won’t respect mine.

Not sure the friendships will survive. Not sure if I care. Because it is not just their vax status but their attitude/disregard for anyone other than themselves (ex, one said he would get vaccinated if is elderly mother was still alive…guess he doesn’t care about my mother or anyone else’s).

I may be trying to rationalize/maintain hope, but their attitudes could have shifted over the last few months, but I haven’t asked.

Actually, I learned that one person (hopefully both in that couple) did get vaccinated…after mother and MIL both died of COVID. So I don’t even know everyone’s vaccination status, but don’t feel comfortable asking. Maybe I will get up the nerve the next time we head there. Like “if you guys are vaxxed, we’d love to get together, but certainly don’t want to bring any cooties there!”

Anyone else lost friendships or found a way to maintain them when you aren’t on the same page as them?

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Long story short, at the beginning of the vaccine, I found myself as an attorney representing a family in court who didn’t want their grandmother (in skilled nursing) to get the vaccine. She already had covid twice. They were extremely suspicious of the vaccine. No one on their side of the family was going to get it. This was one issue in a much bigger case, and I already represented them. So despite my personal opinions, I had to make the best argument I could for them. There was no time for them to get a different attorney.

At the time, I would have loved to have the vaccine available for multiple members of my family, but there I was, arguing against someone getting it.

I lost. It wasn’t even close.

I don’t represent them anymore, for other reasons (amicably). And I don’t know if they have shifted their views, or God forbid gotten sick.

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I survived my day with H’s family, and I did wear a mask inside. I don’t think anyone cared, despite H’s thinking they would. Nephew & his GF offered that they are vaccinated & being very careful. So my SIL is the lone anti-vaxxer in the family. I really hope that she doesn’t get or give Covid to anyone … but the trip is over & I no longer need to worry about her. Give me two weeks to be sure all is really well, and then I will celebrate the end of that saga.

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Lots of pics of folks at Fenway for Boston Red Sox games. Some friends went to a Bill Joel concert there over 30,000 in attendance.

Anyone know if evidence of being vaccinated was required. No masks in sight in any pics I have seen.

No, they do not require evidence of vaccination at Fenway, or any other venue in MA as far as I know.

Ok…so large crowds…and seemingly no Covid restrictions? Is that correct? This would impact my post vaccine Covid decisions!

Yes.

ETA: I also saw some of the Patriots preseason game on TV last week and didn’t notice any masks in the stands there either. I think the general public is not nearly as covid-paranoid as people on these boards. People think they are vaxed and outside so they are OK.

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Covid “paranoid” or Covid “savy”?

I prefer the latter, but that’s me. :blush:

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I’m using Covid cautious to describe my behaviors, but I like Covid savvy as well.

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Covid cautious works well, too!:+1:

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We returned home to our area of PA today after having been around the US with Amtrak and spending a week in/near San Francisco. What a diverse nation we live in. In SF, pretty much everyone was wearing a mask indoors (extremely few without and even those would put one on if asked) plus many were wearing them outdoors too. No complaints we saw at all.

On the train most people were wearing them, but there were plenty in Observation cars who were not or were only putting them on (or pretending to) when employees came through, then taking them off or pulling them down afterward. Via announcements, Amtrak was requiring them, but in reality only on one train in one situation did they enforce it kicking a man off of a Business Class car on the Coast Starlight. Even as an announcement came on in the California Zephyr telling passengers you’d get two warnings, then sent packing, a lady right across from us told us, “I’ve been on since Salinas and haven’t worn a mask at all, no one has said anything.” We were in Nevada at the time several hours away from Salinas. The whole rest of the time in the Observation cars, probably 1/4th to 1/2 were either wearing chin guards or had them over mouths, but not correctly. There were even ladies on phones on the Southwest Chief calling friends/family letting them know Amtrak is much better than flying because they aren’t enforcing masks.

In stations, Chicago was enforcing it, LA and SF (Emeryville) no enforcement was needed because everyone had them on, and Pittsburgh/Harrisburg no enforcement was even remotely seen with plenty of people not wearing them correctly, including just around their neck or hanging off an ear.

And back here in PA post Amtrak, hardly a mask in sight just like when we left two weeks ago.

Several trains were full or nearly so. There were also a lot of tourists in SF. People are certainly traveling this year. That said, if Covid was on any particular train, it would easily be catchable, esp by those not vaccinated. Coughing at some level was heard on every car we were in. Was it Covid, colds, allergies, smokers, swallowing something wrong? Who knows? A couple even admitted to taking cold meds now and then. From what we heard in conversations most were vaccinated, but there were certainly some vocal travelers who were not.

Fun trip overall with only a glitch or two which I’ll add (maybe tomorrow) to the travel thread. We’ve reached the point where we’re trusting our vaccines and living life almost back to normal. One very iffy point with me is I’m not sure I’m returning to school to work even though I told them I would be. Fortunately, I just told them I’d be subbing math/science and wasn’t interested in anything full time just yet. There will be no masks in school and we’ve been the 3-5th worst county per capita in PA lately.

Traveling is worth the risk to me. I don’t think work is. When school starts even without Covid, germs spread around easily.

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Thanks for the update. Good to know.

Synagogue A:

Theme for the High Holidays is “We Return.” Full set of services, all members welcome, offsite parking with shuttle buses, etc. " We continue to monitor the COVID situation and will adjust our plans as necessary to ensure everyone’s health and safety." “At this time, we urge all of you who are able to be vaccinated against the COVID-19 virus before the High Holy Days.” Discussion of wearing of kippot and tallit but not a word about masks that I could find. There will also be live streaming services.

–It looks like this synagogue made extensive return plans before the Delta variant hit and haven’t made changes to them.

Synagogue B:

Due to the current surge of COVID cases and resulting protocol, we are offering services at two consecutive time slots, in the sanctuary, for the three Yom Tov mornings and for Kol Nidre… Offering two services limits our exposure to 1½ hours per service and decreases the number of congregants in the sanctuary at any given time, while allowing us to still join together as an, albeit smaller, community.

*All services will be available on Zoom so you have the option to participate in all services online, to come in person, or to take a hybrid approach and do a little of both. Rabbi **'s sermons, Musaf, Mincha and Ne’ilah will be Zoom only…

Please bring your photo ID as well as your vaccination card OR proof of a negative COVID-19 test taken no later than 72 hours previous. Masks are required at all times…"

–And this synagogue has a reopening task force which includes a high level employee in the county Public Health department. Children’s services will be in the outside courtyard.

Both synagogues include lots of doctors LOL.

We are attending synagogue B.

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