<p>Mine was something like 200-300 words. Should probably be longer, but there’s not much else to say</p>
<p>Thanks heps. Do you think that the essay should be strictly hopes/goals/influences, or do you also add things like hobbies would be gratuitous</p>
<p>I wrote mine sort of like a story talking about my past, present, and future. But it was really long. (800 words) I need to do a rewrite. :(</p>
<p>^well there is not a definite word limit, I think it is acceptable just as long as it fits in given the space (But I am not positive)</p>
<p>my deerfield essay was 800-900 words. it fit in the first space, AND they gave you a grand total of 3 spaces-- that’s like 3000+ words. lots of wiggle room.</p>
<p>i think they’re looking for content, not so much length… i mean i don’t think they want a novel but as long as it’s not excessively wordy and tells your story well, i think it’ll be fine</p>
<p>okay I have another question. What does it mean when it says describe your expectations. I can do the goals,hopes,etc. but the expectations part throws me off a little</p>
<p>@ifax- I did the same thing. I talked a lot about my past. A LOT. I just typed it all up last night, and I ended up with around 900 words. I’ve got some serious editing to do.</p>
<p>@beatlesforever- yeah my peddie essay wasn’t that good for that prompt. i did mention the effects and usefulnes and why i would value it though.</p>
<p>my deerfield essay was 1,400+ words… haha it might be a little long…</p>
<p>For the Epsicopal High School prompt, I chose What are your dreams for the future? When you look back on your life in 30 years, what would it take for you to consider your life successful? What people, things, and accomplishments will be important?
I wrote it in a short story form. Would that be acceptable as an essay?</p>
<p>I just finished my andover essay,
can i show it to anyone of you who can help me pleaseeeee?</p>
<p>@FarisM- I’m here and happy to help! </p>
<p>I finally sent in all of my apps… Thank God…!!!</p>
<p>Just redid my Deerfield essay… over 2,000 words. But, it’s the best damn essay I’ve ever written so I’m sending it.</p>
<p>ifax-What was yours about? Mine was around 1800 words…</p>
<p>@AngEverlasting,
I made two sections; one about my past and who I was. I talked about my unique experience at my current school and how that has shaped me, and my future goals, ambitions, plans, hopes, etc. What did you talk about?</p>
<p>Somebody should totally post their essays for the application this year (2011)! I would love to see them!</p>
<p>Really not a good idea to post essays while decisions are still pending! But if you’re looking for something to read, take a look at dramaswimmer’s “Timeline for March 10” on [this</a> thread](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/1093862-my-timeline-m10.html#post12067831]this”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/1093862-my-timeline-m10.html#post12067831) - see post #21.</p>
<p>I’m posting an essay, a potential app essay I think. I’m a junior in HS and had to write a personal essay on anything, and I thought I did decent and so did my teacher, could this be a good app essay if I tune it up a little more? </p>
<p>McMoney</p>
<p>I remember that Nike sign as red as I see fire, I would swarm those shoes like ants swarm a stick that just stirred their home. Those had to be the ones, those were the ones, we connected and they fitted. The majority of my life I always saw something that had to be in my possession, but could never attain, why? I had no money. I would catch sight of ideal pair of shoes, turn around and take a deep breath. </p>
<p>“Mom, can I get those?” I would nervously ask.</p>
<p>“Sure, if you have the money for them.” She would cynically reply.
All the countless times that this sequence occurred made me crave money, money, and
more money. I would always envision when I got that paycheck, there would be nothing to stop me from going all out and buying enormous amounts of, well everything and my dreams would come true, or so I thought.
Completely out of my financial reach with a price tag of 79.99$. The shoes appeared gleaming under the display light, waiting for a desiring customer’s parent to hand the Benjamin over to the cashier. Worryingly, I would haltingly approach my mom, all the while intensely
visualizing what I would say to get her to concur. </p>
<p>“Mom, can I get those shoes?” I just really didn’t have that long of a walk.</p>
<p>“If you have the money sure, in fact you should get 2 pairs.” She would harshly reply.</p>
<p>I certainly presumed it was merely the wording of my asking, until I reread the price tag. </p>
<p>“I can’t wait ‘till I work and get money.” I would depressingly respond. At the earliest I distinctly remember this cycle, I was barely 14, therefore I had to wait 2 excruciating bankrupt years.
Frankly, another peculiar dream of mine was to always eat and ideally work at
McDonalds. As a first job. There was no way of separating me from McDonalds; I loved that place with a passion. The day finally arrived and I turned 16, “old” enough to work. The opportunity to become rich had sparked and I would guide that spark to an immense pile of wood. My guidance led that spark to McDonalds, the McDonalds on Starcrest. I entered unknowingly of what was to come, and the first thing I encountered was foreshadowing to me. I saw the poster of the Monopoly guy with money taking off in all directions, then and there I knew that I found the right place, that Monopoly guy was going to be me. I cautiously asked for an application and they happily gave me one, as to implying that I would never get hired, so it didn’t matter if I even filled it out, which I considered a possibility for about 3 seconds. I took that application and thought of it as a stepping stone to a grand high school job, I was pleased at my abilities that were necessary to be a Big Mac creator, I was sure that I would acquire the position. But I had to be overt to other options, so I applied to other places. </p>
<p>An agonizing week passed by and I finally took upon the task of calling them for a
change. What an idea, it worked so well that I obtained an interview that Wednesday.
Wednesday, done with first half of the week of school. Wednesday, beginning with second half of the week of school. Wednesday, my interview. The day came and I wasn’t nervous, more like uncertain of the outcome the interview will induce to both me and my job opportunity. I was well dressed and with high goals, me being hired. I entered McDonalds, again looking at the poster with the Monopoly guy and again my future was foreshadowed. My hands got clammy and my stomach queasy as I walked towards the table the manager led me too, as I advanced I glanced at the glances the workers gave me, and wondered if this was the right place for me to work at. More than enough went through my head about failing this interview and ultimately myself. This interview brought a job to me but most importantly experience and knowledge. Oh yeah, and definitely money, in fact, that’s why I applied in the first place. Money is the source of my motivation. As I was taking a seat, I noticed how laid back and calm the manager was, thankfully that brought my anxiety level down. I was shocked that the interview ending so abruptly and hurried, the interview only took 10 minutes. I was curious and dismayed, thinking that he just didn’t want me or just got tired of me. </p>
<p>Suddenly he turned to me and said “You’re hired.” </p>
<p>My money reign had begun. My dream had begun. Money and McDonalds. I started my first workday on a Saturday, throughout the rest of the couple weeks; I applied my abilities and worked hard and long hours. After 2 weeks, I received my first well earned paycheck. Tuesday came, the day to pick up my paycheck, it was glorious. Sun shining, birds chirping, and the scent of the grand McFries made receiving the paycheck all the more glorifying. I opened it and reality hit me. I have a job at McDonalds, it’s really happening, and I am getting paid for this. The paycheck amounted to 250$, rounded up. Immediately I started to daydream and plan my spending. I came to realize that I could barely purchase an IPod Touch. We, my money and I, went over to Target for the day and viewed my options on the IPod, could only get the 8GB, though it was the 4th generation. That would do, that would have to do, I excitedly engaged my feet to take the steps toward the cashier. I arrived, as if I could buy 10 of what I was holding in my hand. </p>
<p>“Would this be all Sir?” She had to ask. </p>
<p>“For now.” I answered without hesitation. </p>
<p>“That will be 248.85$.” She demanded.</p>
<p>Now, to my circumstances and to others as well, with this kind of money you would
unconsciously hand it over knowing that more and more would come to you. But I couldn’t deal with this kind of spending; it was a shock to me when I gave this amount of money up. I was content with the purchase, but not with the “spending the money” part. I came to a conclusion right then and there; I’m just going to save up my money, see where that leads too. Ever since then I just keep my money in my checking’s account shielded by Wells Fargo from the world the Money used to mingle with.</p>
<p>Don’t post your essays yet! D8</p>
<p>Grivacobae you shouldn’t post yours either it could get stolen</p>
<p>Was it good though?</p>