The right medical forms depend on one’s state. In my state, the medical form is called a “Health Care Power of Attorney”. I have seen other states call their equivalent medical forms “Health Care Proxy” and/or “Advance Directive.” Doctors and hospitals sometimes use all these terms interchangeably too. Regardless of what the right name is in a given state, the gist of the planning is to make sure one has the right state prescribed health care document to allow an agent or agents to make decisions and give orders. And yes, it is a good idea to make sure that a copy of whatever medical form one has is on file with the doctor’s office and/or hospital.
The medical form is separate and apart from the “durable power of attorney”, which allows someone else to handle non-medical matters for the signer: everything from writing checks, paying bills, signing tax returns, getting mail, signing other documents, making investment decisions, handling real estate closings, etc.
johncocktoasten thanks for clarifying…the durable power of attorney that you describe is what I had in mind as the POA. Whatever a state calls the medical document, it is definitely needed!
I don’t think it is overkill to have the docs, but I’ve never needed them. Both kids signed the release forms for me to deal with financial aid office, and they gave me access to their portals so I can see, review, and pay their bills.
The most helpful thing for us is that I’m a co-owner of their bank accounts (same ones since they were babies). I move money around, I put money in, I can get checks at the bank for them (bank will print out a few sheets of checks, and those are more than enough for daughter to pay rent for the year, or send a check to someplace that needs to receive a check (when she got a passport). I do their taxes and pay/deposit a refund from/to their accounts.
If there is a way to get permission for you to talk to the health insurer, that’s helpful too. The other day I needed to set up for my daughter’s wisdom teeth removal, and the insurer wouldn’t talk to me until daughter okayed it. All we were talking about was the amount the insurer would pay, nothing about the actual care or treatment.
A hospital is not going to let your child suffer or die waiting for a POA or a court order before giving treatment. It may not be the treatment you’d select, but treatment will be provided until it is no longer an emergency. Most hospitals/doctors want the family’s input. I think it is more of an issue if there are divorced parents requesting different treatment or if it is a non-emergency situation but the family would like to get surgery started.
When my daughter was born, she needed some emergency procedures done. I was coming out of anesthesia and the doctor shoved some forms in front of me, said something about combining things on one form and that he was ‘pretty sure it was legal.’ (I remember that, that he was 'pretty sure it was legal.) I’m pretty sure there was nothing legal about it, and I’m sure that if I had still been under that they would have gone ahead with the procedures anyway as ‘medically necessary.’ Another patient had a similar situation and she was refusing to sing the consent form for blood transfusions. The hospital said they’d just get a court order. The hospital wasn’t going to just let the baby suffer. Having the mother’s consent was quicker, but there were ways around it.
@roethlisburger My dad has been a practicing physician for over 40 years, so it is safe to assume he will have the ultimate authority.
@compmom I have no fears of my parents abusing/using this authority to manipulate any of my actions. Therefore, for the worst case scenario protection, I believe it is worth it.
If someone could clarify, in addition to the health care proxy which deals with any medical matters if, for example, I was in a coma, in such a situation (durable?) PoA would be necessary for, say, my mom to file my taxes.
If you were in a long term coma, the court would normally appoint a legal guardian for you. Typically, this would be one of your parents(assuming you’re unmarried and have no children of your own), and your parents are able and willing to assume this role. If your parents already have your durable power of attorney, then yes, they may be able to pay taxes without going to court to become your guardian. At your age, I don’t see it as that useful unless you’re trying to cover edge cases(ex. your dad and mom don’t agree) or have specific wishes about when to stop treatment or life support.
I keep losing Internet today and lost some posts. I was going to ask if POA goes into effect when signed or only if the person is incapacitated. College age kids value their autonomy and don’t really want a parent acting for them. I think the OP may be unusual in being okay with this
I forgot about bank accounts. When they first went off, I had my name put on their accounts, so I could send them money (their own that is).
So all in all, without really thinking that much about it, we ended up doing medical proxies, designated rep for insurance (my kids have disabilities), bank account, FERPA and I could communicate with financial aid.
I do think of POA as usually for an elderly person with dementia, that kind of thing, or an unconscious person. There are other avenues for long term coma. My kid’s coma was two weeks and there were no problems, as I said.
Powers of attorney can vary. Durable powers of attorney are effective when they are executed. Samples of such forms are on the Fidelity.com website. The powers of attorney that become effective when the person who signed them are incapacitated are called “springing” powers of attorney because they “spring forth” when you are unable to act on your own. Vanguard and Schwab use such powers of attorney.
H and I never got these powers of attorney when our kids went to college but never needed them. I did get the kids to sign a FERPA and HIPPA release so I could act on their behalf regarding financial and medical information with their U. I also had them sign medical authorizations so I could act on their behalf with the medical insurer and make sure all their medical bills were promptly paid and fight as needed if they had excessive bills or other medical issues.
I don’t recall any of us signing healthcare proxies. The kids are both in their mid/late 20s. So far, the forms we signed were adequate. I did straighten out both kids medical bills several times and it was helpful that they had signed medical authorizations with insurer and signed the forms that the U had for authorizing me to act on their behalf.
I also had joint accounts with each of them, in HI as well as at the credit union on their campus. I wanted ways to get money to them quickly and with minimal hassles. That was my way and it worked just fine for us.
I admit that in an abundance of caution, we also left signed medical authorization forms with my folks when they watched our kids and we went to Europe for several weeks. Fortunately the forms were NOT needed but it gave me peace of mind.
Is there a place online where one can easily get the medical authorization forms? My kid signed the schools FERPA release but I think having the medical authorization would be better.
@suzyQ7 You should be able to google your state and “health care power of attorney”, and hopefully get a link to your state’s official legal medical directive document. Most states have official documents - they are all different so do make sure you use your state’s document. Often an official website like your state department of health will have these documents downloadable online. And please make sure that your child fills it out correctly and that it is signed (and witnessed and/or notarized if required) correctly.
If you cannot find your state’s document through such a search, you can go to http://www.caringinfo.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=3289 This site has downloadable pdfs of medical directives for every state. However, my experience has been that the forms from this site are not always up-to-date or totally accurate, and for my own state the download gloms together our state’s medical power of attorney with an ancillary medical document that I find that many people don’t want or need.
Every single one of our doctors has a medical proxy form (in our state).
HImom and I seem to have done the same paperwork.
For us, it happened naturally rather than as part of a checklist because our kids have some medical conditions.
At 18 my kids would not want to do a POA as described for things other than medical proxy. Kind of like a two year old who wants to do it himself. And they don’t think anything will happen to them.
As I said, even when disaster did befall one of mine, it was still okay legally.
It is easy to google the form for your state, you will get several options that come up and they are all pretty identical - specifying what you have power over medically speaking. Also, you actually provide up to 3 names with the power to make medical decisions, with the latter being called into service if the one above isn’t available or willing at the time. The more well known legal sites also have them.
The forms don’t require a notary, just two independent witnesses that are not related (at least the forms for CA anyway). I don’t know if absolutely necessary, but I don’t see the harm in having these until they have a spouse or significant other that they want making decisions for them. Frankly, I am not sure about their validity across state lines or oceans, but it seems like a good thing to have in place.
If you are needing it to pay and work on their medical bills, you may want them to fill out the form from your (or their) insurer and file it with insurer.
