<p>Well today my friend who goes to another college came over for thanksgiving, among other people, he's a freshman (poly-sci major) and I'm a sophomore (biology major). He's talking about how he's in a fraternity and how much fun he has, where as I just have, well, I talked about what I am learning in physiology. I study all the time, and have no friends. And when i mean no friends, I mean none. Actually that's not true, I have one friend, but thats it. I had alot of friends last year, I partied and had friends that are in a frat, and I made alot of friends in my dorm. But all the friends i made in my dorm last year now live in apartments, and I'm still living in the dorm, and I don't relate well with the people in my dorm this year. And I don't go to parties anymore because I feel like they will hinder my study habits. So I study on weekends and don't do anything. I do work on the weekends but only about 6 hours. I had the chance to pledge a fraternity, but I don't feel like paying for it and I feel like it will interfere with my grades. When its all said and done, hopefully I will get into medical school, especially at the cost of having no social life.</p>
<p>If u make it to med school u will be extremely disappointed to find out that most of the other kids in your med school had great social lives as undergrads while you missed out…</p>
<p>Uh, dude, I hate to break it to you, but doctors…work with people. All day. Everyday.</p>
<p>You might want to make social skills as much as a priority as your grades.</p>
<p>+1 to colleges. </p>
<p>Find a way to have a social life. You might end up regretting all of this if it’s at the expense of staying sane and healthy. Your friends are a very important part of college, and as horribly as cliche as it sounds, they really have the potential to become your family in terms of offering support and guidance and lots of other fun things.</p>
<p>By no means is it too late to form lasting friendships. I met my 3 closest friends during the middle of my sophomore year, so it’s never to late to start seeking a new group. You might be looking in the wrong places, which could be why you’re coming up empty-handed. </p>
<p>If the dorm/fraternity scene isn’t working, try other places. I think the best place to start, especially for academically-minded premeds, is in classes. Do you have any small classes with familiar faces? Or any familiar faces at all? Chances are, if you think someone looks familiar, they probably think the same about you. So next time you can, sit by that kid and introduce yourself. Think of how great it would be if someone did that to you. You’d be more likely to be friendly to that person next time you saw them; it’s likely that your classmate will respond the same way. </p>
<p>A word of caution: when you start making new friends, don’t have too high of expectations for them/your relationship at the beginning. This new crowd isn’t going to instantly take form and be as meaningful to you as your buddies back home are. That doesn’t mean you should abandon them–just let your friendships happen naturally. </p>
<p>I guarantee you, they’re as important as your academics are because they are the people who will give all your work a context and make it worthwhile. If you were once a social person (sounds like it), being a premed does NOT mean you have to be a hermit.</p>
<p>Good luck!!!</p>
<p>My daughter’s group of friends didn’t totally gel until her sophomore year. YMMV but her best friends ended up being somewhat separate from the pre-med group. Now that she is in med school the dinners that she has with her old friends are still very important to her and give her the opportunity to hear about what is going on in the arts and the business world. </p>
<p>Once or twice a year during undergrad I would hear some version of what the OP posted regarding the academic demands of a pre-med as compared to those of who were not during an “Everyone got to go to the concert except meeeee” phone call. That being said, being a pre-med didn’t keep her from making friends and the friends that “stuck” understood her desire to go to med school and didn’t give her a hard time about missing the occasional party…ever. She got out and about - just not as much as some of her friends. </p>
<p>Certainly I would have been concerned if she found she was not capable of having ANY social life as a pre-med. Her friends understood that she was under the gun academically more often than they were - or at least for a greater portion of the semester. I was and am very proud of her choices and as a Mom it is my job to listen to the occasional whine but there are easier paths to take as you prepare for adult life so quite honestly, while I was sympathetic there were one or two times over the years that I felt compelled to remind her that the demands of the pre-med life were her choice. (Mean Mom, I know.)</p>
<p>This might not apply to the OP but I remember very clearly that it was during sophomore year when my D made the decision to do it her way and to stop worrying about the pre-meds who were constantly comparing how many hours they were putting into the work and going on about what activities a pre-med MUST participate in. </p>
<p>Don’t let gunner pre-meds get into your head and make you feel that you can’t have a life. You can (and should) have a reasonable social life.</p>
<p>Dude, this is so me!! and actually, just wanna say thanks for posting this because the answers that people have posted have helped me so much… Seriously, everything about you described, fits me perfectly…EVERYTHING!! I had many friends last year, they live in apartments, houses, or different dorm. I have a single now and the same as you, i dont click with the people here. The only difference between you and me is that i have a boyfriend, one that i want to break up with because i feel like he takes so much of my time. I dont study the weekends because i hang out w/ him, and while doing so i feel like i’m wasting my time, like i should be studying. I’ve heard many people say that pre-meds dont have a life and it seems like i wanna put myself in that situation. I sadly have no advise for you, of course, since i’m going thru the same thing. But your post made me feel like i’m not the only one who’s experiencing this. What school do you go to?</p>
<p>No matter how much you may disagree with it in principle, medical school is not worth not having a social life. If you can’t have both at the same time, maybe you need to reconsider whether med school is for you.</p>
<p>I mean this sincerely but the old adage “you can always retake a class, but you can never relive a party” is 100% true and should be something you live by. </p>
<p>Really ask yourself “am I studying this much because I need to cover the material to pass, or am I striving for the difference between a 93% and a 99%?”</p>
<p>If it’s the former, then you need to be studying SMARTER, not harder. Look for ways to be more efficient and make sure that you are covering the material in the manner that your prof has chosen to test it. (Classic examples of poor study technique is the person who spends days reading the textbook when 95% of the material on the test comes from lecture)</p>
<p>If it’s the latter, than you’re just being a jerk pre-med who needs to take themselves far less seriously.</p>
<p>As a pre-med, I was in a fraternity, was a member (and typically an exec) of 7 different organizations on campus, was in 3 different honoraries, volunteered at the hospital, did campus tours, worked 15-25 hours a week waiting tables, and still went out to the bars or a party 2 or 3 times a week. The only thing I didn’t do was research. Could my grades have been better? Yeah, but I also had an amazing 4 years in college with lifelong friendships and a ton of memories that didn’t involve anything related to a textbook.</p>
<p>I think it’s too easy to fall into the “I’m premed so I’m expected to have no social life” trap. Most of the med students I know had wonderful social lives when they were undergrads and even now as medical students. They have significant others, were in fraternities, played intramural sports, sang acapella, etc. Successful med students know how to prioritize and manage their time. The ones who don’t have social lives ironically are the ones who end up not making it to med school because there’s usually some fundamental flaw in their study skills or time management.</p>
<p>Gibson,
Do your best. Maybe try studying in the bio library and meet others like you.</p>
<p>Try joining a service fraternity such as Alpha Phi Omega. </p>
<p>Wild partying will not get you into med school. Getting great grades will. Doing some service will help. Get a research position in the bio dept or med school. </p>
<p>Go to the gym and work out.</p>
<p>You will meet others that have your interests. Freshman dorms serve that purpose, but they are not life.</p>
<p>Does your college have an overseas program. That is a great way to improve your med school chances and live in close contact with a small bunch of people.</p>
<p>Good luck</p>
<p>ccr118, sorry i do not wish to say where i go to school. I actually think I have pretty good study habits. And I do workout and I have made acquaintances at the gym. I think friendships will start developing with time, I guess I’m just not used to trying, normally things just fall into place. Then again, usually i meet people at parties, which i don’t go to anymore. Thank you all for the advice. Overall I think I just need a girl friend. Many of you might disagree, but I think it would help me a lot.</p>
<p>Why don’t you meet people in your classes? You are all in the same boat … I don’t think there is an easier social situation possible.</p>
<p>As a pre-med with a girlfriend. I’d say there is an order to which you can obtain such a priority.</p>
<p>Grades…stable? then get your social life… still both stable?? Getting your A’s, fun memorable times and still think you want more? Go for the girl in your life and if it all works out, then win.</p>
<p>*Why don’t you meet people in your classes? You are all in the same boat … I don’t think there is an easier social situation possible. *</p>
<p>I completely agree.</p>
<p>My son is pre-med and his girlfriend is pre-pharm…similar interests. Form or join a study group. Join the pre-med club or whatever at your college. Join the biology club at your college. Join a community service club at your college. </p>
<p>Do something.</p>
<p>"If u make it to med school u will be extremely disappointed to find out that most of the other kids in your med school had great social lives as undergrads while you missed out… "</p>
<p>Yes and they are the ones studying at the unaccredited [Insert random name here] School of Medicine in the Caribbean.</p>
<p>I agree that you should form study groups and try relevant extracurriculars, but joining a frat and becoming beer pong champ doesn’t necessarily lead to a fantastic college experience.</p>
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<p>you’d be surprised…</p>
<p>ib612, I’m afraid you are wrong. You don’t have to be a drinking machine to be sociable. I had pre-med friends (now in american schools) that were highly active in outdoors clubs, who were in Christian fellowship groups, or who just straight up played video games with people. There are many ways to socialize that don’t require, <em>cough</em>, lubrication.</p>
<p>However, for the record I do own a beer pong table ;).</p>
<p>As someone who went to a Seven Sisters school in the 1980s, I was one of those people who partied hard and maintained a B+ average. However, all my so-called “friendships” were merely shallow. None of my good time friends remained friends. Believe me - - socializing over beer and drugs does not lead to anything positive in the long run. In fact, among my group, it led to abortions, drug and alcohol problems, and even one manslaughter conviction.
Hate to be a downer! But don’t stress over missing too many parties ;)</p>
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<p>WRONG…WRONG…WRONG…they are the ones not freaking out from all the stress in Med school and are the ones who excel once third year rotations start because they both know how to and can interact with patients…unlike the kids who do nothing but study and have zero interpersonal skills…third year is a real wake up call for them since you can’t study interpersonal communication skills in a textbook.</p>
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<p>Agree with BRM…you’d be surprised…</p>