Private school at pre-k or k?

We are looking for a private school for our soon to be 4y/o son. We live in one of the Boston suburbs. We understand that most private schools start at pre-k, but some start at k. We really like Milton because it appears to be academically strong but also cares about developing the whole child. It also has the advantage of the superb upper school. But Milton starts at k and we are worried that if we wait to apply there and he doesn’t get it, we’ll lose not only Milton but also reduce his chances at the other great schools that start at pre-k.

  1. What do people usually do? Is it worth taking the risk?
  2. Is Milton considered good for lower school?
  3. Which schools do you recommend that have very strong academics but also focus on developing the whole child (e.g., foreign language, music, art, sports, after school enrichment) in a nurturing environment (e.g., encourages collaboration vs cut-throat competition, encourages taking risks, thinking outside the box).
  4. Which lower schools are considered the “best” in the area (e.g., in terms of placement, other factors)
    Thanks!

Have you looked at shady hill?

Only at the website. I haven’t visited the schools yet. What do you like about it? We are relatively new to the area, so don’t have much prior knowledge about the different schools.

My kid was unschooled. Didn’t have any formal eduacation or set curriculum until eighth grade. No tests, no homework, nada. She hung out with me at work and home, and with her grandparents and cousins, and followed her own interests. We made sure she read a little, wrote a little and did a little math every day. In eighth grade she joined traditional school, and was surprised how easy it was. By her senior year of high school, she was Salutatorian of her class, and is currently a senior in a premed program at a top selective university. My point is…sometimes relaxing in the little grades is healthier. My other point is…sometimes academic talent has nothing to do with elementary school. Smartypants kids just randomly occur. Genetics figure in greatly (two grandparents were doctors). Quality of academics become more relevant later, in my opinion. Little people should fall in love with learning. Be careful not to overwhelm them, restrict their natural curiosity, bore them… The best elementary education…is one that produces a curious student who loves to learn, is excited to ask questions, and can take pleasure in all the simple things that drive joy and wonder. Meh…my two cents. Best wishes.

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These are great two cents… But does it really have to be one over the other? Great lower schools to me are precisely ones that develop the love for learning and kids’ natural curiosity. Or - am I being naive?

It definitely doesn’t have to be one or the other. There are dozens of ways up the elementary school mountain, so to speak. What works for your child, you, your family…is where it’s at. My biggest caution would be overscheduling, not enough time for free play, and pushing too hard when there is little natural curiosity. There are awesome schools that do a great job…and there are schools that look awesome on paper, but have really miserable kids attending who don’t get enough freedom for creative/discovery play. Play is extremely important in elementary. They’re different people. They have different needs. If a kindergarten looks on paper like it’s a tiny little college…be really careful of that.

What is your public option? MA is known for its excellent public schools, and you could switch to private at the point that you have a better idea of what kind of learning environment would be best for your child if Plan A doesn’t work.

You may have other reasons for liking private, but it may not be necessary to start at k if you want a prep school. There will also be kids who start at a private and withdraw because it isn’t a good fit, so spots may open. It’s really hard to pick winners out of a pack of 4 year olds…

I would also check to see how many “true” spots exist. At schools in our area (nj), faculty children, siblings of current students, and legacies get first priority (rather than an admissions bump), so there are often very few spots actually available to a kid with no affiliation with the school.

I’m sending a p.m.

@kidsrock sent you a PM

I wouldn’t worry too much about K spots. It is a very common entry point at many area schools.

Private elementary schools are famous for creating a fake sense of exclusivity. Waiting lists and all that. I would not stress. Have you considered parochial schools?

I will say the wait lists are real! If a school has a pre-k, sometimes there are as few as 3 spots left for K between siblings and current preKers.

@momof3swimmers Thanks you! Sent you a PM following your previous message

@suzyQ7 We celebrate holidays, but are not religious, so haven’t considered parochial schools.

@kidsrock I’m in NYC and we have the same issue here. Some start at K and others at PreK. What many people do is send their children to a private preschool (not one attached to an ongoing school) and some apply for Pre K but if it doesn’t work out, you still have your spot at the preschool and try for a K spot later on. Private schools have many entry points (prek, K, 6th ,etc). Entry every year is possible because people leave.