Not concerned about spending habits. He’s been really good on that front. I’m concerned about the decision making process that he may have developed or is developing.
I’m approaching this issue from this angle —> If I were in his position , I’d probably take community college and get TAGed to UC, and will make a deal with my parents to invest the money saved in my name so that I can use it later.
The fact that my son is not thinking that way is what making me question. But on the other hand I certainly understand people are different and each one of us think and approach problems differently
None. Yes I’m at fault here. There was no criteria because I didn’t feel the need to.
No change in financial situations. The only change is; I started frequenting CC forums and saw how other kids(and their parents) are thinking about college in a financially prudent way. Which made me start thinking along the lines of “is he making a good decision or am I teaching him a wrong way to look at life”
And for the last time this is not question about finances. This is a question about decision making and teaching our younger ones to be independent.
This happens. While growing up in India before coming to the US, my parents or my other friends’ parents would never have thought twice about going back on their word to their kid if they found they could not afford something that they thought they would. Or if they find something is just not the value they perceived it to be - there is something similar at a lower price. This stuff happened with us as kids - not everyday - but definitely sometimes. We grew up just fine and have not been damaged. In fact, the Indian middle class society would likely have shamed the kid for not being considerate enough of the parent’s economic situation.
Moreover, I do not think is only Indian parents back in India - many Americans I know would be fine with doing the same.
I personally am not planning to do this with my kid but my kid is quite mature to handle it. In fact today after reading this thread, to test this theory I discussed this as a possibility talking about my son’s dream colleges and my son laughed about it and is perfectly fine with him letting go. Kids are strong and can handle these disappointments if you are honest with them about your reasons.
If he chooses less expensively, would you offer the amount saved by choosing the less expensive college to be used for other educational expenses, such as professional school?
Also, if the more expensive college is right at your price limit, what if he needs a 9th semester there?
Another issue is that this isn’t UCSB v. Purdue, or even UCSC v. Purdue: There’s a significant difference between UCM, CPP, and Purdue.
I’m not sure how sending him to a nationally-known university that matches his academic strengths&interests and that you can afford would teach him the wrong lessons. (I really don’t understand your worry, not being snarky here, trying to respond but not understanding).
However I agree that if he wants to go, he should be able to present a “why Purdue” that’s convincing (and as I said, if you want him to contribute, you can require a job for up to 8 hours a week).
Hopefully he’ll get into other universities.
Did he apply to Penn M&T or UCB MET?
Please understand, the difference in quality, peers, reputation is such that posters may struggle in understanding your dilemma, if it is not financial.
Sometimes, the best value isn’t the cheapest choice. If the cheapest choice is all you can afford, you make do and do your best. If there’s no significant difference between higher-priced and lower-priced, lower priced is the way to go unless you have the money and care about a special feature, brand, look…
But here we’re talking about sth that’s more expensive because it’s more valuable, too.
Understood and thank you.
I’m not very well educated on US collegiate system and that’s why all my questions. I will take all this input and make a decision based on what i think is right for me and my son.
Based on what I heard here Krannert is on another level compared to CPP and UCM
Thank you very much . It’s been real.
@califlow I think it is important that you clarified about not being that well-educated on the US collegiate system. I was talking with a friend the other day who grew up elsewhere, and even though she has spent 30+ years here, she really did not know that there are very distinct “tiers” of quality in the US collegiate system. So I understand where you are coming from.
UC Merced and Cal Poly Pomona are fine schools, but they are nowhere nearly as highly-regarded as some of the other UCs and Purdue . Purdue will expose him to more opportunities, more rigorous academics, and a student-body who is likely to be more intellectually engaged. These are things that many applicants value highly, which is why almost everyone here is encouraging you to let your son go to Purdue. But if you didn’t grow up here and are not familiar with the stratification of the US college system, it can be difficult to realize the different levels of education that different US colleges offer.
Seems like you have the incentives set up so that he sees the full effect of the price difference, albeit in the future. Meaning that he is not getting a “free” (cost-no-object) choice, but a choice where spending more means less left over for him. Giving him a “free” choice can be problematic, but now that you have said that he will see the full effect of the price difference, giving him the choice and the consequences makes a lot more sense and is more “real world”.
For CS, SJSU would be your best bet if your goal was silicon valley companies. Outside of bay area, UF or Purdue. For OP, if it’s affordable, Purdue is the clear top choice.
You can use the college scorecard published by Department of Education to compare your school. It has the data on everything including the job salary for each field of study. It’s the most neutral information site unlike those ranking web sites.
this is not question about finances. This is a question about decision making and teaching our younger ones to be independent.