Q:Consider something in your life you think goes unnoticed and write about why it's important to you

I need to know if this actually answers the question, like would this be an acceptable answer

Living in Minnesota my entire life I became accustoms to the wide varieties of cultures and diversity the city has to offer. I am a first generation living here in the United States because my parents moved here from India. Growing up in the dense suburbs I had to conform into the culture of the mass population, thus losing my cultural background while at school. Overtime I blended so well that my diversity went unnoticed by my peers and I was no longer a minority to them, although outside of school I still felt that it was important to stay true to my ethnicity.

Over the years I learned to blend in with the majority of my peers, whether it is how they dress, their language between friends and families, and activities inside and out of school. And by conforming to these ways my peers no longer recognized me of different cultural background and how outside of school I am a different person. I am an Indian, Muslim, meaning when I go home I don’t speak English to my family, I speak Urdu, I eat different foods with all sorts of spices, and I even have different cultural decorations arranged in my home. The relationship I have with my parents is also different than most of my friends. They required a different level of respect and sometimes have expectations that reached beyond my limits. Such as in school I think it goes unnoticed the amount of additional work I give to sports and clubs; instead of solely getting good grades.

Most of my peers sometimes overlooked this simple factor because of how culturally I have blended to act like the mass population, and only came to recognize the differences when meeting my family or visiting my home. Outside of school I teach at an Islamic Center that withholds hundreds of families from different cultures and background. I also go to several events in the city that showcase and embrace the diversity that the city holds. This is extremely important to me because I feel that I should always be in touch with my ethnicity, and all the glory that comes along with having a different cultural background, because I don’t always get to represent myself at school.

You should schedule a meeting with your English teacher for feedback.

It answers the question just fine. I like it!

Yes, get some general editing help. But two comments- not clear what city you are referring to in the first sentence. Later on you suggest you live in the suburbs. The rest of your description of your community seems inconsistent with your first sentence. Also, the Islamic Center attracts, not withholds.

I’m not certain that what you wrote about really meets the criteria of the essay as UW intended. When we visited, on e of the admissions team members said one of their favorite essays on this topic was about - socks. The real trick of an essay is to keep it as specific as possible and cover a moment or point in time - they really want to know how you think and who you are as a person. From your essay - I know some facts about you but not how you think or who you are other than broadly.

Best of luck to you!! This essay business is challenging!

I like the general idea of your essay, but I think you need to pick a specific example or event to focus your essay around; talk about an experience you had at the Islamic center, or at an event you helped out at. Your essay is a little bit vague at the moment because you’ve brought up too many underdeveloped examples, and I’m not getting a specific sense of who you are.

It also needs to be proofread by an English teacher, the clarity and grammatical aspects of your essay need to be improved a lot before this is ready for submission. Remember to be concise.