Question about friends and... connections

<p>So I have this friend who got a science internship last summer at a Columbia lab b/c her mom works for that lab and they pulled some connections to get it... I've been trying to get into a lab since freshman year but my parents both do business and so they have no connections to a lab. I understand that not everyone who gets research opportunities gets it through connections but I've been trying really hard and still haven't gotten any. I'm applying for summer programs but this summer (my junior summer) is a little late for intel, which I really want to do.</p>

<p>so 2 questions:
1. do you think it's a huge problem for colleges that i have no research experience? i do have honors programs and good grades in math/science and real interest
2. will colleges see that my friend got her lab internship at Columbia through parent connections? i don't want to sound really spiteful but i just feel that she just had to ask her mom, "oh i wanna work at a lab, help me" and her mom just pulls some strings and gets it for her without her doing anything while i've been trying for so long with no success. i just kinda want colleges to see that she didn't put in much effort to get to where she is now...</p>

<ol>
<li>It won't help. But it's not like they'll say "oh no research, you're out." Keep trying.</li>
<li>No, they won't. Some people are just lucky. And it's pointless of you to wish her ill, because her not getting in somewhere will not help your chances in any way.</li>
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<p>about your second point, but isn't there somewhere on the common app where they want your parents' employer and occupation... and so colleges may see the connection between her lab internship and her mom's occupation... idk</p>

<p>i'm not wishing her ill, she's actually one of my best friends. it's just college stress getting to me =(. we're both shooting for the same type of schools (top ivies) and i just feel that the connections my parents don't have are making me at a disadvantage.</p>

<p>oh well...</p>

<p>Best to focus on making the best of your own situation, seems like you are focusing (obsessing) on things that you can't control much.</p>

<p>get over it. life is unfair. do something else that sets you apart. Just because you want to do something science related does not mean you have to work at a lab. There are plenty of other things to show your interest.</p>

<p>I don't have a family connection to anything. No "family business," no "awesome relative who works at company X," no "parent that does work for a university," or anything like that.</p>

<p>The best things you can possibly do at this point:
1. Accept that some people are privileged with connections. It sucks if you don't have them, but hell, what can you do about it? Nothing. Worrying about it will not help you. It's unfair that some people don't have to work to achieve the things that we want, but it happens.</p>

<ol>
<li>Focus on yourself. Apply to many things that show your interest, and do it early so you don't cram at the last minute and end up sending a bunch of weak applications. Ask your friends who are interested in similar things what they'd recommend. Try other programs. You don't need connections to a lab to get into one.</li>
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