<p>My D is applying to a couple of urban schools in the Northeast. She is entranced by the idea of going to school in the middle of a city. I am concerned about the potential for increased associated costs of going to an urban school over a more self-contained suburban or rural campus. A "day out" in the city can easily cost $100 even if you don't go shopping. Even if the tuition, room and board are the same, I feel that she may end up spending much more money on entertainment etc. than she would at a non-urban campus. We will probably be full-pay for tuition, but there is no way we can afford to provide her with pocket money; she is aware of this. However, I'm not sure she understands that she is not going to be able to go out to restaurants, clubs, concerts etc. or pay for transport or museum fees if she has no money. Her fantasy of an urban experience may not stand up to financial reality.</p>
<p>I'm wondering whether my concerns are exaggerated. I'm interested to hear about the experiences of other parents with kids at truly urban schools. Examples would be GWU, BU, NYU, Columbia, Barnard etc. If kids do not have a lot of money for off-campus activities, is the urban environment still a good one?</p>
<p>The reality of how much food costs in NY is hitting my daughter hard. Here, a 12 pack of cans of Coke is about $3 to $4, in NY, it’s over $7. She is really feeling it everytime she goes out for dinner.
On the other hand, she is the queen of the Rush tickets for Broadway shows. She goes when the box office opens, and usually only pays about $36 for tickets that could cost upwards of $75. Sometimes there have been shows that have a special, like " wear your college gear, get a ticket for 20 bucks" or for one show, they had “Fordham Friday, show your Fordham ID, pay 25 dollars”. So there are deals, if you know how to find them. I think the museums have some free days, but you have to know when.</p>
<p>My daughter, honestly, has been pretty busy with school work, and other than shows on Broadway, hasn’t had much chance to get out.</p>
<p>But when she came home last weekend, she made sure she got herself scheduled to work for one day at her old job, she really needed the money.</p>
<p>Thanks. My D works in HS part time during the school year and close to full-time in the summers. She has been saving a good chunk of her money because she knows she’ll be responsible in college for the “beer and pizza” fund. But even so, the city offers a lot of expensive temptations.</p>
<p>While it isn’t exactly the same thing, my first post-college job was in a city and my friends and I learned quickly where to go and spend the smallest amount to have a good time. Happy hour with free food where we would buy one drink and sip it for hours. Tuesday 50 cent tacos. Free fireworks at the waterfront. Free Sunday mornings at the museum. Stuff like that. While there are lots of opportunities to spend $$ in the city, there are also tons of free/cheap things to do.</p>
<p>I went to college in an urban area. My only spending money came from my WS job of 10 hours per week. I had no credit card, what I earned was what I had. No exceptions. I had to pass on many concerts and eating out evenings with friends. I was not the only one like that so we did things on campus. </p>
<p>The temptation will be there to do things and if she has a credit card make sure that she knows the spending rules.</p>
<p>Two comments … as a parent of a child going to college in NYC.</p>
<p>First, in our family the kids are own their own for spending money so in essence this is their issue.</p>
<p>Second, while NYC can be very expensive it can be very cheap also … there are tons of low cost alternatives for food (pizza, Italian, middle eastern, etc) and entertainment. </p>
<p>I think the big difference is in big cities there are more expensive options also and some kids will gravitate to those … however there are a ton of inexpensive ones also … it’s up to the student and on what they focus. </p>
<p>The one caveat I’d add is at city schools there will be a subset of well off kids living the high life … this bothers some students if it is not an option for them and others ignore them.</p>
<p>Both my kids went to school in Chicago. Both depended on part-time jobs for their spending money (plus about 10% of their basic rent/utilities/food budget), but we contributed everything else. We also paid for transit cards – we wanted them to feel free to explore the city.</p>
<p>Yes, there are more ways to spend money in the big city. Yes, lots of things are more expensive. And, yes, there are a lot of great things to do for free or for cheap that kids are good at scoping out. There is also less of a focus on having big parties where everyone gets drunk and throws up, since there are many other, more interesting things to do. Cities provide a lot of opportunities for interesting jobs, both of the internship sort and the cool-part-time-job sort.</p>
<p>Yes, also, some kids have unlimited budgets, and if your kid has a tendency to get jealous he will have lots of opportunity. I have heard more about this at the NYC schools than at my kids’ school, where it doesn’t seem like a big problem.</p>
<p>My D is in Washington DC. She works during the summers and school year and is pretty frugal, but there are just so many temptations in the city. This year (she’s a soph) she is trying to eat most of her meals in the dining hall and just go out for coffee and dessert afterwards. Metro tickets can also add up - especially if you have an internship that you have to travel to. Then add in concerts and plays, DC can be pricey! She budgets about $200 a month for spending money.</p>
<p>Another thing to think about is the unofficial dress code. My son goes to school in DC and he asked for a clothing allowance because he felt his wardrobe was not up to snuff. </p>
<p>I guess they dress a bit better there than at his brother’s techie college in an industrial city where he cound get away with mail ordering $5 plain t-shirts from Hanes.</p>
<p>I am right there with you…I tried very hard to pitch the idea of a more self contained campus like mine. I loved that all the students stayed on campus for fun, and made lots of good friends. My dd was set on an urban campus, and chose Boston University. We just reviewed her spending pattern from the first month together. Excluding a $40 T card, which will last at least half the semester, she spent about $200. No clothes, almost all food, with half being inexpensive items she picked up for her third meal, and half being social outings. she and her friends are having fun, but I honestly think she needs a bit more to fully take advantage of the culture and experience. Conversely, though, she indicates that for fun they go for ice cream, movie, inexpensive dinner whereas at my school I now realiZe that much more social actinides revolved around campus parties and drinking. I am liking the urban lifestyle more and more in comparison, but I would agree it is probably more expensive.</p>
<p>OP,
“I’m not sure she understands that she is not going to be able to go out to restaurants, clubs, concerts etc. or pay for transport or museum fees if she has no money. Her fantasy of an urban experience may not stand up to financial reality.”</p>
<ul>
<li>you are not exaggerating. She will spend a ton and will continue so even if you point out. Even the most responsible do. However, I want to point out to another side. My D. currently in Med. School in a middle of the city. It was originally her #1 choice for UG when she was in HS. However, she ended up at another UG in a middle of nowhere, in tiny college town. Looking back, she is saying now that it was the best choice for her, which resulted in unforgettable college experiences, well beyond our whole family expectations. Being able to compare, she realized that she would not have all of what she was looking for in UG at campus in a middle of the big city. She is very happy now where she is, her Med. School is everything she was looking for, but she is happy also that she was in very different situation during UG.
But money were spent and are still getting spent, they get together, it is part of life. We talk but we do not push too much.</li>
</ul>
<p>It does depend partly on the group you hang out with. My D has found lots of free things in DC, and rides her bike some to avoid metro costs (makes me nervous!). She doesn’t go out to eat much, and never to very expensive places. She does see movies occasionally. I don’t hear any mention of concerts and plays. She has been adding to her wardrobe for internship clothes, which I sometimes buy as Christmas and birthday gifts. She provides her own spending money, I give her a Starbucks gift card every now and then.</p>
<p>"Other expenses might be more individual…Our D has sorority dues and hair coloring and “work” clothes for internship. Good thing she has a job! "</p>
<p>-The same (minus hair coloring) and much more. Job was for experience and nothing else. We let her keep her job money if you can call it “money”. D. had the best job on campus by far, and we were very happy and proud of her. I do not think that they are very different moneywise, not “individual”, more or less about the same. Oh, well, part of life, the last thing to worry about when they are away from home.</p>
<p>D is a senior at an urban university in Chicago. Like JHS, I feel that the advantages to the big city school have outweighed the disadvantages, even price-wise. Sure, some parts of city living are expensive, but there are a ton of free or low-cost activities, too: hanging out on the beach, free nights/times at the museums, people-watching in the parks… She and her friends love to scope out inexpensive restaurants. They go to free events in the park. Occasionally they go to one of those drink-a-lot-and-get-plastered parties, but as she said, “That’s boring when there are so many other things to do.”</p>
<p>Of course, she and her friends are more at the cheapskate-end of the spending spectrum. I figure that she spends about $300 per month for all her food (she lives off-campus and has no meal plan) and spending money. She is not a big clothes-shopper, which helps, and her el pass is actually part of her school fees. </p>
<p>One of the reasons that D wanted the urban school experience was the access to concerts and music (hey - some kids choose schools for sports, she chose a school partially for rock and roll.) There are plenty of cheap venues for up-and-coming bands in the city. </p>
<p>But the biggest reasons that D chose this school was the opportunities it afforded for internships and networking in her field. That worked out beautifully: she interned last summer, she graduates in May 2012 and she starts her new job in August 2012. Obviously, every kid is different, but I think my D would have been miserable at a small campus in a small town (like the college I went to!)</p>
<p>D is a sophomore at NYU. Yes, there are expenses you might not have at State U - transit, higher food cost, entertainment. BUT she has no car or car insurance or gas. She can find a $1 slice, discounted theatre tickets via student rush, and lots of free or low cost entertainment. She’s not a clubber so that’s not an expense. She only has one meal per day average on her meal plan, so she tries to prepare breakfast at her dorm (apt. style) and either eats just one more meal or something low cost out. When she did her budget, the biggest expense was Starbucks and she’s willing to sacrifice elsewhere to get her coffee fix BUT does make her morning coffee and takes it with her. Living in such an awesome city, with so many opportunities for personal and professional growth, is well worth the cost. You just have to economize where you can.</p>
<p>NJSue, Both of our kids went to college in expensive urban environments…one at BU. Here is how we solved the “spending money” issue. WE (the parents) didn’t give our kids one dime of spending money. Like you, we were paying almost all of their costs of attending college and giving them discretionary money was not part of our plan. They both understood that they would need to earn all of this money themselve…including money for books. They both worked summers (a challenge for the BU kid who attended a summer music program for at least 6 weeks most summers) and both worked 10 hours or so a week during the school year. DD is a big spender (think $155 hair salon trips) and was in the Bay area of CA. Both had the money to spend on whatever it is they wanted to do (and if they didn’t, we didn’t hear about it).</p>
<p>Somehow they both managed to make ends meet. Neither one ever complained about being short spending money. They were MUCH more careful with money they earned than with money we gave them (we did give them gifts in things like holiday and birthday cards). Both had their own bank accounts…and because we weren’t contributing to the accounts, we had no access to them which was fine. </p>
<p>When people ask me how much my kids spent on extras, I honestly say…“I don’t know…they earned it…they spent it.” </p>
<p>If your daughter is told that any discretionary spending is on her dime, then you should not have to worry. Just be prepared to be strong and not bail her out. It’s a good time for kids to learn about living within their means. It’s not like she’s going to starve to death or be homeless…you are paying for room/board.</p>
<p>And as noted above…there are PLENTY of student discounts in Boston. My kid learned quickly that if he wanted to try a new restaurant, LUNCH was the time to go. He also learned that the entrees were often large enough to share and did that too. He saved his money for months to get Red Sox tickets! That was not a bad thing. Also there are things that are free or close to it happening on the BU campus.</p>
<p>My kids are in Chicago and Boston. We do not provide spending $$ – that’s on them. What they earn covers books, food in excess of the meal plan and personal spending. Have not heard any complaints, but they are both fairly low maintenance. Having to fund their own expenses also gives them good motivation to find good summer internships! :)</p>
<p>S1 has gone to a couple of shows in Chicago, but the student center had landed a bunch of discount tickets so he went for $25 each. There is plenty of stuff to do in big cities that is free or fairly cheap. That said, I am glad they are not in NYC, as it seems exponentially harder to keep costs down there!</p>
<p>My D is a sophomore living off campus in NYC. She does not have a meal plan and shops and cooks most of her meals (she is a vegetarian). Before she left for college over a year ago we told her that we would not provide any spending money so she would have to figure it out. We do pay for her groceries which are averaging about $45 per week and we pay the $104 for the monthly metro card. And all of her school costs.</p>
<p>D is able to get into all the Broadway shows she wants to see by doing student rush or getting very discounted tickets through some online places she has signed up (these are $5 and $10 for Broadway shows). She also takes advantage of all the free days at museums and enjoys Central Park when the weather is good. She also likes the occasional Starbuck’s and new pair of boots, but she worked all summer and saved her money and does some babysitting to supplement her income during the school year.</p>
<p>I think one of the most important things you can do is spell out what your expectations are for your D regarding spending money regardless of weather she chooses an urban or rural campus.</p>