Hello, if anyone could provide a quick critique of this letter, it would mean the world to me. Truly any help will be god sent.
To whom it may concern
I’m writing this letter in a bid to be granted readmission to xxx for the 2016 spring semester. To start off candidly, I will blame no one but myself for the troubling year I encountered in my freshman year.Although I performed well for the first month , I failed to attend any of my classes for nearly the entirely of the fall semester and spring semester. The change of setting from a sheltered and regulated living space at my mother’s home to a unregulated and unsupervised place shared with four complete strangers was a complete shock to me. I didn’t have someone quietly telling me to study or attend class and a whole world of opportunities presented itself.
In short, I was not yet a adult, even though my id stated I was of 18 years of age, I hadn’t matured enough to understand the importance of responsibilities and the correct way of solving obstacles, and instead I ran away from them. The reason for my failure to attend the majority of my classes in the fall semester all started when I caught the flu and was absent from class for one week. During this time, I fell greatly behind and my anxiety set in. Instead of working with the delightful and passionate staff and professors, I pushed my schoolwork aside and hid in my apartment. 1 week turned to 1 month, and so forth resulting in an abysmal record. One would think I would have learned from this, but of course history shows that the same occurred during the Spring semester. It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom and moved back in with my mother. It was during this time that I met bi-weekly with a therapist who helped tackled my anxiety and helped create a method I now use to solve large obstacles in my life. In addition, while at home, I worked a nearby store working 12 hours a day, from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. This job directly taught me the importance of disciple and punctuality.
Moving on, I would like to ask the xxx admissions team to grant me another opportunity to study at this wonderful university. I yearn to improve myself and become a educated member of society and fulfil my career ambitions. I’m confident that over this past year, I’ve grown to become an accountable adult who is capable of being a thriving student and contributing member of xxx .
What is your current status at the school? Did you get a medical leave when you left? Was your enrollment terminated or are you on leave? Schools are understandably risk averse when dealing with vulnerable students, particularly a student who didn’t ask for a medical leave, but just disappeared.
Please understand that a crippling mental illness that keeps you in your dorm room for a year is not just immaturity or an inability to work unsupervised. You aren’t ‘irresponsible’ and have now learned a lesson. You were in a very emotionally fragile state and needed treatment, which I’m glad you are getting. That situation is much more serious than merely partying too hard and taking a hit on your grades as a result. So promises that you have matured are not what they are looking for here. And they going to be rightfully concerned if that’s how you present it. It means you haven’t dealt with the possibility that this could reoccur (anxiety isn’t a ‘one time only’ deal - it can be, but often reappears when the stress level gets high, as it invariably will) and you may need some support structures in place to make sure you stay safe.
Consider the possibility that you attend community college for a year, develop an academic track record that shows you can handle a full course load successfully and then reapply to this school or transfer to another school entirely.
Thanks for your reply. I just like disappeared into my dorm and neglected my responsibilities(partying and playing games). Although I may some anxiety, I don’t believe I am as you described me. Anyhow, do you think there is a chance I can get readmitted back into a state university. I had high marks and didn’t find the schoolwork very difficult. It’s just that i wasn’t a mature adult at that point and simply acted like a child. Also, this just a draft, if the letter isn’t well worded, can you please point out any flaws.
I think you should shorten this letter. I agree with the comments above that the story you are telling is that you seem completely overwhelmed by mental illness that did not allow you to go to class for almost an entire school year. Or if not that, then you were really so immature that you couldn’t function at the school and it is unlikely you have matured enough in the last few months to solve those problems. When you go back, there still will not be anyone telling you to go to class or study, so for starters I would get rid of the last sentence in the first paragraph. I would also get of the first sentence in the second paragraph, as it is unlikely that a few months away from school is going to solve the maturity problem that seems to be quite severe, at least according to the way you describe it. I also would consider staying at home and studying locally for a year before going back, but if you want to send in an appeal, keep in shorter and more factual.
Thanks for the reply. Since this is a first draft, I’ll mostly comb over it and go in more detail about how I’ve learned to budget my time and tackle problems directly. Any particular parts I should rewrite to be more factual? Also, I’m 20 now.
Well that is all you can do, it seems. Did you read this page? It says you have to be in good standing to be eligible for readmission. Did you withdraw or were you dismissed? If dismissed, where there any conditions given for readmission? https://www.umb.edu/registrar/academic_policies/readmission_policy
You also have to make an appointment with the dean. If denied find out if they will readmit after taking CC classes. And if by some chance they take you again, you will likely be on probation, so be sure you are really ready because you will be out again quickly. Good luck.
I would combine the first paragraph with the first half of the second paragraph and shorten the discussion. You could start with:
I’m writing this letter in a bid to be granted readmission to xxx for the 2016 spring semester. To start off candidly, I will blame no one but myself for the troubling year I encountered in my freshman year.Although I performed well for the first month, I failed to attend most of my classes after I became ill with the flu during the first semester. Then for reasons I cannot explain, I attended very few classes in the second semester as well. The change of setting from a sheltered and regulated living space at my mother’s home to a unregulated and unsupervised place shared with four complete strangers was a shock to me, and my attendance and school performance suffered.
Then in the second paragraph, describe what help you have received after you left school and what help you will be receiving in the future to change your ways. That is what they want to see.