Ready, Set, ....Go!!

Parent Cafe
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<p>Caught The Wiggles on Today this morning. I wasn't so interested in their performance as the pans of the audience, full of parents with toddlers in arms, on shoulders, dancing on laps. Some scared, some in awe, some dancing, singing and waving arms along with the stage action. All transfixed. And all the parents experiencing the joy of seeing life through their children's eyes. Wasn't it just yesterday that this was us? <em>sniff</em> </p>

<p>We attempt Launch #3 on September 1 (first Tulane/Katrina, then Bates, now JHU). As a "returnee", albeit to a different school, S has gotten no more organized - in fact, most of his stuff lies semi-opened and pawed through from bringing it back from Tulane. Don't even ask about the two items which are still somewhere in space, having gone into storage instead of being shipped. Will count myself fortunate if they get here in time for us to schlep them to the car for the trip down.</p>

<p>He has announced that he doesn't want us to move him in; will do it himself. Okay, I'm trying to adjust to the notion that I won't be stowing everything away neatly and make the bed. Emphasis on <em>trying</em>.</p>

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<p>DS leaves next week. H and I are both going since I get to spend the night with old college roomie. #3 (younger D) is moving herself in. We are only 1/2 hour away and she has it all planned. Plans to load up the old minivan and move in herself. Then she can take all the friends to make the Target run (since most are flying in) and we can pick it up at the end of the weekend. Sounds like a good plan. When did she get so responsible? It seems like just yesterday that we made that 20 hour drive for D#1. Saw the Wiggles also and also wondered, "Where did the time go?"</p>

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<p>Oh gosh how the time goes by. It seems like yesterday all of you were starting the process with your kids and now it is drop off time for the class of 2010. This has been a fun and heartfelt thread. I shook my head a few times, giggled, (man what I would not give to see curmie roll up on campus right about now) and now trying to keep from tearing up because no matter how many times you do it, there is a part of you that wants to keep them home. </p>

<p>I wish you and all of your kids all the best as all of you embark on your new journeys and adventures.</p>

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<p>The past week has been daily farewells with S's group of friends, some of whom have been in the same small class every day of their lives since kindergarten. As usual, food rules. Pool picnic at our house, last dinner at the ribs restaurant, last "hangout" at another friend's, last dinner at the chicken and crabs place, last lunch at the pizza place, etc. Now the time has come. S's best friend since age 4 left yesterday, another friend the day before. </p>

<p>S was found crying in bedroom yesterday afternoon. Not at all reluctant to go, but sad about being gone. About turning these last few pages in the childhood chapter of his life -- it's been such a good story so far.</p>

<p>Make new friends, but keep the old -- that is exactly what we talked about. And what hurts right now, even though we know that the next chapter will be just as great.</p>

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<p>My O my. I have driven all night to get home from Memphis. The cabin smells like the Animal Quarantine Area at the pound. The ranch poodle dug out of the specially prepared security stall ( I think she bribed the Golden to dig for her) and met us at the arena covered head to toe in burrs and well....we'll just stick with the burrs. ;) One of the cats who lives inside has turned feral (again) and is wailing from beneath the jacuzzi. </p>

<p>Someone has soiled my empty nest on my first day.:(</p>

<p>I'll post a trip report soon. It was truly memorable.</p>

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<p>Congrats on a successful drop, Cur.
Our situation is a little different- WildChild lived in Philly this summer and took some summer courses, so all he has to do is move from his apartment into the dorm (with more stuff than his dorm room will hold, so some will go out to the suburbs to my sister's basement). He is in TX right now for a few days sorting out what remained in his room through years of boarding school in preparation for the moving of the family homestead to TN, where I have already staked out our new space. It is tough for him to say goodbye to his home and the city where he has lived his whole life. He came through TN and spent a night with me and will come back with H on Sunday to help do a few things in the new house before we move in. H will go to Penn to help him do early move-in on the 27th and i will appear for the parents' meetings etc. on the 31st. New job and moving the household unfortunately limits the time I can spend away right now.<br>
We have had lots of dorm move-in practice, with the assortment of boarding schools WildChild attended and D's long distance move to Interlochen (which had to be done by airplane and shipping).<br>
D took herself back to Rice for her senior year (it gets SO much easier as the years go by) along with one of the family cats who was much less traumatized by the move to Houston to be the "only cat" and live with D than by a drive to TN with three other cats and a very large dog! She will come out to TN later in September with her boyfriend to see her new family home.
I miss them all as I sit here in my corporate apartment.....</p>

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<p>Your post makes what the rest of us are doing seem so straightforward. I think I'd be going insane. Good luck!</p>

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<p>Well, you made it Cur.</p>

<p>Did you mean 'sticking' with the burrs as a pun? The farm activities will keep you occupied and your mind off of mudgette. Think of it as a 'good' thing. ;) </p>

<p>I dropped andison off at school yesterday as well but I had a way shorter drive than you did! He was there early for a pre-orientation program. We had a glorious sunny drive along the Charles River and a happy send-off. I'm going to miss all that piano playing but I'm happy for him.</p>

<p>All my very best wished to mudgette at school this year!!!!!!!!</p>

<p>andi</p>

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<p>I love the picture that original post made! My boys easily fit their stuff in trunk and back seat of a sedan.<br>
So when a friend asked if I would help her D move to another location in NYC (I have a van), I didn't think it was a big deal. She's a sweet looking girl so I figured she would have a bunch of guys to help load up. It was summer housing so I thought it would not be a circus scene. Well, the moving crew was her and me, combined weight about 200 lbs, and the stuff did not fit in the van. There were many parents moving their kids, and it was rare to see more than two kids helping to load, and the second kid may well have been a sibling. Two dinky elevators for a high rise building, and very few moving carts to load the stuff. Not a young soul looked at us twice, much less helped us, but some of the older men (the dads) gave us a hand when they saw what we were doing. I guess that's what women's lib has wrought. I then drove to her new place; she followed in a cab with the stuff that did not fit, where we had to haul the stuff to her new apt. Since no one had greased the doorman's palm, we had to get into a NY style verbal brawl for use of the freight elevator. Unlike at the NY dorm, there was no area clear for parking.<br>
When I moved as a single woman through HS and college, I always had a crew of friends to help. It was unbelievable to me that this beautiful, intelligent, young lady could not line up some friends. However, looking at the moving crews of the majority of kids, they were made up of mom and dad.<br>
So Coureur, good luck with the move. Hopefully, Rhodes has lined up a moving crew, and her room is a fifth floor walk up. I've just read your back post--you should write a book.</p>

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<p>Andi! Finally he moves in and we get our happy ending! :) Congratulations! Cur; we are WAITING with baited breath for a play by play. (And my condolences on the barn-like atmosphere, err, odeur... when you arrived home...) MOWC - Wow! You have had way too many life and location changes in the last few months. I hope you get a chance to catch your breath and relax a little, soon. It is hard to believe that your DD is already a senior! DD is off in Chile for 5 months, then starts her last 3 semesters at Rice (unless she heads off to Denmark, as she is now suggesting!) I'm off to Rice in October anyway, (I just love that drive, LOL!) so that DS can interview. :)</p>

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<p>We leave Wednesday from Pittsburgh, with an overnight stop, arriving at MICA in Baltimore early Thursday morning. Just W, D and I and D's stuff in a Chrysler Pacifica. The amazing thing is that SHE HAS TO BRING HER OWN DESK! </p>

<p>D has been very frugal with her packing. As a visual art major, she is also traveling with a large stash of art supplies. We have a dolly, but don't think there will be room. Same applies to her little brother...</p>

<p>W and I and taking a few days visiting friends in Baltimore. Hopefully, that will make the transition less abrupt. </p>

<p>D always said that she came from a disfunctional family because she could always talk to her parents. Here's hoping that continues on her new journey...</p>

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<p>Andi, so glad to hear the final chapter - mucho good lick to Andison.
Curmudge, we have to hear the story
MOWC, prayers to you - what a difficult transition, for your whole family. Try to get in some quiet time for you and hubby, after the dust settles, so you can process all this change.
M&SDad - A DESK??? Huh??? Like a drawing table, or just a regular desk?</p>

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<p>O.K. I'll start with the end first. </p>

<p>Not so bad. Really. With my year of pre-grieving I seem to have covered most of the emotional bases. Mom did fine, too. Seeing this child interact with the students on campus was a joy. </p>

<p>Coming from a high school where she was labeled early and then largely taken for granted by student, coach, and staff alike (the teachers loved her), she was in the mood to be the initiator in this new world of hers. (I said aggressor and she bristled at my word choice.)</p>

<p>" Allison? Is that you? I'm ________ from Grinder's Switch. I saw your dorm room last year at Trez. It was so cool." </p>

<p>We just set back in awe and amazement as she wheeled and dealed , nudged and cajoled staff and student alike. This kid is on a mission. "I'll meet you at the library at 5 and I'll see you at lunch Sunday. Remember to call me tonight." </p>

<p>We knew high school was over. We just didn't know how over it was. </p>

<p>Is this the same kid? Where did this social moxie come from and why wasn't it there before (in the same amount)? Showed some savvy, some skill. She would literally walk up to someone in the caf and just start talking, next thing we knew she was motioning us to join her. </p>

<p>We were so impressed. So we just sort of let go of the balloon . Kissed her on the cheek, got a hug and we were gone. And it wasn't that bad.</p>

<p>(I'm still recovering. I'll get to the Cops, the Repo-man, the Degenerates and Deviants Unity on Union Avenue Meeting, Nascar and "the kindness of strangers" when I get my eyes to focus in unison. I can still will my body to do stupid things like drive non-stop from Memphis after a long day on campus so I could take care of some issues at the ranch. It just takes me longer to recover. A lot longer. )</p>

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<p>AAWWW CURM - what a wonderful event to report on - it is amazing how some kids take to water just like a duck.......... we had a very similar thing happen with our gal - that easy acceptance and interaction in her 'new and different' environment - like another world for many - can make such a difference. She is growing up - self assured - she is woman!!! Hear her roarrrrrrrrr!</p>

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<p>cangel,</p>

<p>MICA is a visual arts school. Depending on your specialty, you may want a large table for drawing, an easel, a drafting table or, if you do computer based art, you may not need as large a work space. The individual student decides.</p>

<p>Then the parents are stuck hauling it...</p>

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<p>Ok Curm;</p>

<p>How do you deal with the Heat in Central texas? It was hot and humid!</p>

<p>Our family of 6 had a very busy summer filled with performing in musicals, different children going away for a week, summer school ,etc . . .so flying d to Baylor was our "family vacation" (and since our other kids weren't too thrilled to vacation in Waco, we also stopped to see friends in denver for 1 1/2 days first). </p>

<p>Unfortunately, our flight on Monday 8/14 was right after the latest 8/10 scare. We arrived at airport almost 2 hours early for a 9 am flight and spent over an hour trying to check in 12 pieces of luggage (a small duffle bag for each of us, and 2 large boxes, 4 small boxes and large duffle bag for d). After waiting for over an hour to check-in, we missed the 45 minute check-in time cut-off -- and now had to pay extra money to take the next flight 2 and 1/2 hours later. Check-in attendant asks us "what's in those boxes?" I reply, "college stuff", "Like what?" she asks. "umm. Books, linens... stuff" -- she gives me a LOOK and now gives me a form to release the airline from any liability if things break.</p>

<p>Finally, we get on the plane, the stuff gets on the plane. Hopefully our friend who is picking us up in her mini-van in Denver has room for 6 more people, 5 small duffle bags, and 7 boxes/bag of "college stuff".</p>

<p>Wed, we take an early flight from Denver to DFW. D's Baylor orientation starts at 9 am but we miss half of it because we don't get there until 12 noon. (get a rental car at DFW, get lost a couple of times, whew finally get there). </p>

<p>Thur is move-in day, thousands of students move in in the space of a couple of hours. Lots of students have more stuff to move-in that we do, but some have less too. Meet d's roommate from Ohio, d moves everything in, we go to nearby Walmart to spend another $200 for all the things we couldn't bring or forgot, including food stuff since D only got the 11 meal plan. We buy an ironing board and iron, plastic 3 shelf unit to fit in her dorm closet for added space, over the door "hangers" thinge for her robe and wet towel to hang. </p>

<p>Already in her room is the fridge/freezer/micro combo we rented for $240/school year (or you can buy for just $449 (!). Wow, so expensive however, its the only type of fridge /micro unit that is allowed in the dorms. The fridge turns off when the micro is used.</p>

<p>From Thur afternoon until yesterday afternoon when we left, barely saw d at all because she was so busy with welcome week activities, meeting people, etc. As I told h, barely seeing her at all (maybe 45 minute/day total) during welcome week was probably preparation for us leaving for home in Calif without her. </p>

<p>By Friday, D has already knocked on the dorm doors of students she "met " this summer on facebook, made arrangements to go to a saturday evening service at a nearby church, plans to visit another church with her small group leaders Sunday, and then will go out to Starbucks Sun afternoon with another new Baylor student from Switzerland that she met when she got her student ID taken. She doesn't need us, she is off and charging ahead.</p>

<p>D's 18th bday is in 2 weeks. I go splurge and buy a gift basket complete with baylor teddy bear, personalized dry erase board in D's favorite colors, Baylor water bottle and lots of balloons and arrange to have the gift basket delivered on her bday Sept 3.</p>

<p>As we leave yesterday, she and we give each other hugs and tender looks. My 11 year son gives her a picture frame for her birthday so she can put a picture of him in it for her room. My husband prays one last prayer with her, and we go. I turn back and look at her one more time as she walks towards her dorm room, her new home, and then I resolutely face forward in our rental van as we head back to DFW. . . my d has started to fly, leaving me, h and rest of family behind, we hesitantly but freely have let her go. </p>

<p>We just got back from Texas last night at 10 pm, it hasn't hit me yet that de is gone and that she will never really live at home again -- because even when she comes back for the holidays or whenever, she is on her own, starting on her own journey through college and the rest of her life. </p>

<p>I sigh, d#1 has been released, although we will still parent her, it will only be from afar. . . And I turn my attention to my other 3 children still at home. </p>

<p>I have a daughter now a Junior in high school. She says she didn't like Baylor, she wants to attend a bigger college in a bigger city . . .the "search for college" journey will begin again.</p>

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<p>How do we deal with the heat? Most of us go to the mountains of far West Texas or as the locals like to call it - "Colorado".</p>

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<p>Cur. Utterances from my D today, heading to sophomore year at Princeton as you know. "Mom, when I came back from college, I was just one of those people where everyone said 'You are the same but different.' Mom, it was a combination of things. One, (best friend's name). Two, leaving home. Three, (OMG) alcohol. I just had bad self-esteem around my peers before. Now I don't."</p>

<p>Mother: "Um, maybe it is because now you are with kids who are like you in terms of academics?"</p>

<p>D.: " It was a combination of things."</p>

<p>Mother: (in her mind) OK. I don't care. At least my daughter now feels right in her skin. If it required some nights of heavy drinking and some questionable boys, I don't care. <em>back to our regularly scheduled programming</em></p>

<p>High achieving girls sometimes suffer in high school. And that moment when they realize their intellect is a plus not a burden, that moment when they reconcile the girl+smart equation, is a whole-hearted, full-throated joy for parents.</p>

<p>Cur.</p>

<p>Congratulations. And to your beautiful Mudgette, emerging into the world beyond rural Texas, a virtual Brandi Chastain award. (many of us older types cheered and cried:)).</p>

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<p>

When you are cramped for time, you can also make a quick trip to Ruidoso, Texas ... er, I mean ... Ruidoso, New Mexico.</p>

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<p>DRJ4, LOL. I was going to mention Ruidoso first (as I go twice a year) but I was unaware of whether it would register. One of my best buds is there right now. Sitting on the deck , looking at the mountains and needling me about the glorious rains they are having as we are fried to a crackly crunch.</p>