<p>I am planning to help my DD settle into her dorm. I am a first timer at this. This will be far from home, so I want to plan ahead. Can some of you share your experience? What should I look for? DD will get there before me for a week-long activity. I would then go and stay in the area maybe for 3 days; last day would be parent orientation day--not a big deal, but since I am there, I might as well attend that. Is that too long?</p>
<p>What happened to when you turn 18 you're an adult???
She's not a kid, she can do all that stuff on her own. It's time to let go, m'am.</p>
<p>No way!! My hubby and I are helping our kid move in and attending the parent events. Then we'll drive back 1,000 plus miles home and give him some space. We're not bugging his room or anything. My parents drove me to school too.</p>
<p>I stayed about an hour with kid #1 (parent orientation took place along with student orientation earlier in the summer). I probably could have left earlier, but he wanted me to stay until he got all his electronics hooked up, just in case we might need to shop for more extension cords or power strips (it turned out that he had enough of them).</p>
<p>With kid #2, I will be in the area for at least 24 hours because parent orientation takes place in conjunction with the kids' move-in. I may offer to drive my daughter to the mall if she needs to buy anything, but I don't think I'll be doing anything else. What is there to do? She knows more about how to set up her computer than I do, and the rest is just unpacking. And we will be bringing LOTS of extension cords and power strips.</p>
<p>My kids know I like to go and help set up and I think they enjoy having mom and dad around. Even when my son went to grad school he ask when we were coming to see his apartment. It is not because the kids aren't able to set up themselves, but if they do not have a car to get some needed items it sure is nice to send mom or dad to go pick it up!</p>
<p>Guess what? When my son moves again I am sure I will help him with my motherly advice, and he won't mind one bit. Besides, with mom or dad there he is more likely to get a few more items paid for by them, this saving him some money!!</p>
<p>nowayout, don't worry about it. There will be plenty to do once you are there. 3 days may be a bit much for most kids but D's first move in took a full day and a half. You'll get plenty of clues as to when it is time to go. ;) They'll be sending you away soon enough. ;)</p>
<p>We'll be going to move-in again this year and I expect it to be several hours less. She'll be going early to 1) go early and OBTW 2) "help the freshmen". LOL.</p>
<p>Last year DS also went to a pre-orientation program a week early. DH and I arrived the day before S was due to come back and we went to BB&B and picked up all the stuff we pre-ordered, went to Target, Office Max, etc.. Picked up all that necessary stuff. When S arrived, we moved him in and I slipped out a few times to attend a few parent meetings. Of course, there were a few more trips back to the stores to pick up what we forgot. S appreciated us helping him, but once he was settled in, he was more than happy to see us go so he could begin enjoying college!<br>
And as Snowball says, if you are around, you are more than likely to pay for all of that stuff. No sane college kid will ever refuse that. LOL</p>
<p>Because S's college orientation (along with parent orientation) was held during the summer and we attended that, we just mailed a couple of boxes to SIL and put him on the plane with a couple of suitcases. SIL picked him up at the airport and helped him move in.</p>
<p>D's parent orientation was held at the same time as student orientation on move-in day, so we all flew out and helped her move in. It's a fun experience--meeting her roommate and roomie's family plus other students and their families.</p>
<p>nowayout--your experience is so much more different, it's hard to say. Would your D be in student orientation or in class while you're there? If the former, then the two of you would be learning the ropes simultaneously. If the latter, she probably would enjoy having dinner with you on at least one of those nights. I don't think three nights are too long, if you'll be alright if she doesn't want to or can't spend much time with you.</p>
<p>Have fun!</p>
<p>Some kids like having their parents around, some do not. It is usually a pretty highly charged event, and sometimes familes fall apart and bicker like crazy. Most kids are just aching to go and meet all the other kids, and they feel encumbered by their family - plus they don't want to look like helpless children.... so keep your expectations low and understand the different pulls that our young adults feel at move-in time.</p>
<p>18 or not, many enjoy the convenience of a parent doing some last minute, local shopping for/with them. High on the list for my freshman were, dorm room lamps, comfy desk chair and rug. He shopped stores at home ( target, Costco, etc)in advance and then I went along for the purchase close to the college. We had fun and it was easy for him to decide what he needed after seeing his room.</p>
<p>Our plan is for me to go, help move him in. I'll be hanging in the area at a friends house for a couple days before my flight out. So will be available for last minute shopping trips, etc.</p>
<p>You should definitely go to the parent orientation- according to other threads, apparently you'll learn about campus services, security, and not to worry when your child isn't calling you very often.</p>
<p>I could see staying 3 days in a place that I wanted to explore but not to do stuff with my college son or daughter. I know with my son's outdoor orientation, he was actually off campus until maybe the day before we came down. I would be concerned about getting in the college kids way and making them feel pressured to do things with me when really, they should be using that time to get to know their freshman friends and explore their new college home. The Mom and daughter time should be sometime over the summer.</p>
<p>If that's sort of your intent, I suggest a weekend away instead where you can both explore a new area together.</p>
<p>Get twice as many surge protectors (with long cords) as you think your kid will need. (I highly recommend at least one Power Squid.) Spend half the amount of time there as you think you (the parent) will need. Once your kid is plugged in, he or she will want to be off - often there are dorm or floor meetings before the end of the day.</p>
<p>Kids like the free labor and assistance with decision making. As to letting go, there are usually separate meetings for parents and students at the end of move-in day. The kids don't come back from theirs until after the parents are gone. If that doesn't work, the grounds' crew can loan the more-easily-separated parent a crow bar the pry the other parent's fingers off the kid's door.</p>
<p>Our job was to bring the credit card and have a car. Make sure you have an area map and can find the nearest Target , Bed Bath and Beyond, grocery store etc.
D2 moved in a week early for athletic training. On one hand it was wonderful cause she had first pick of bed space and was able to unpack and get organized before her roommates arrived. She was able to bond and run off nervous energy with her team.The campus was pretty quiet. Her Dad and I toured the area for a few days a mini vacation for us to celebrate "cutting the cord" -we were always available on our cell phone, did last minute shopping and returned for parent orientation.Our daughter wanted us gone .... There was NO WAY 6 parents and 3 girls were going to get anything done in their space Yep! it was a very cozy freshman triple - A Dad came in handy help move furniture - but the girls worked it out when we were in parent meetings. Frankly, I kind of missed the chaos of D1's mass freshman move in. Gotta love Boston in Sept :) The energy is amazing. Enjoy the laughter and the tears.</p>
<p>We helped S move in as a freshman. We got started mid-morning and were finished by late afternoon. Took him and his roommate out to eat dinner and then headed home. He was ready for us to go at that point. Although I will say that his roommate was also his best friend from h.s. so they had already cooked up plans for the evening. There were no tears as we left, only saw his backside walking down the sidewalk towards the dorm with cell phone glued to his ear.</p>
<p>Our son has a week-long canoe trip with some freshmen before orientation week, so we'll help him move into dorm, roam around the Great Midwest and return to campus for orientation. But I expect we'll mostly do stuff with other parents. I think we'll know when we need to leave.</p>
<p>Nowayout, depending on the location of the college, you could be bored silly by Day 3. You are obviously going to help her move in, organize her side of the room, shop for last minute items, stroll around campus etc., but if she has already spent a week there for orientation, she may want to hang out and bond with the new friends. It's an important time for her. Hopefully you and she have already had special times together over the summer. I personally found that after Day 2 most independent kids are very ready for the parents to go.</p>
<p>Also, if she is busy with friends, dorm activities, you may feel hurt or left out, she could feel torn between you and new friends.</p>
<p>I think your plan sounds fine, especially for a long distance move. I think the thing to keep in mind is that once she hits campus, give her the space she needs to find her way.</p>
<p>S#1 went 2 hours away with Parent orientation on move-in day. We stayed at a hotel in the area the night before (my sneaky way of insuring a quiet, uninterrupted dinner and movie with just the 5 of us ;)) and returned home after move-in activities.</p>
<p>S#2 went 1500 miles away in a resort area. We incorporated our family vacation into the move. We all went to the area a week before drop-off for relaxing time on the beach and area exploration. We finished up the dorm room shopping. Move-in was on a Friday and Parent orientation Sat and Sun. Once S moved into his room, we didn't hover and took our cues from him. We flew home on Monday. I really felt much more comfortable leaving #2 so far away after spending time getting familiarized with the area.</p>
<p>Both experiences were positive and fit our family. We just did what felt natural for us. There is no right or wrong way, the key is to do what is comfortable for YOUR family. Good luck.</p>
<p>When I took my D far from home to leave for college, I planned it as a weekend.
Day 1 we arrived late and happened to be able to get into the room, so we dropped stuff in the room, unloading the car.
Day two, we helped her set up the loft and get settled, then left her so she could put her special touches and get organized.
Since she could not have a car at school and there was no real way to get to one for supplies, we later that day hit the walmart, with every other person in the region.
\Dinner out, then. she stayed at dorm alone. We were at hotel. next day
WE met for bfast asked if she needed anything else and then hit the road.</p>
<p>My parents helped me move in 30 years ago, but just over a couple of hours followed by a dinner and then they left. HOWEVER, I was only an hour from home. D is 400 miles with no car.</p>