<p>Dc89-- that made my day. I’m given to metaphors, myself, but the white yacht, not so much. I’m glad you found the humor. :)</p>
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<p>Pizzagirl,
For a different perspective of fairness, my friend’s son not only got to see all the recs from his public school teachers, but was able to edit them before they were sent out! So I think that should balance out the fact that my D’s private school teachers are more thoughtful, eloquent, and grammatically correct.</p>
<p>I have written absurd and funny letters for students in the past . The initial reaction is priceless. But before the shock overcomes them I always produce the teal letter.</p>
<p>YDS schools vary and teachers vary regarding sharing LOR. At my kids’ hs where I teach teachers frequently give the letters directly to the students unsealed but I know that in other places there is far less openness.</p>
<p>Though they were confidential and sent directly to universities, later for outside scholarships, I was given copies with the understanding I would not show them to the kids or tell any other families. I did not show them to the kids until they graduated from university and they were happy to read them then.</p>
<p>One thing I really learned by reading them was the meaning of what looks like a great letter and what actually is a great letter. There are tons of hidden codes and it is subtle.</p>
<p>Why so much secrecy with these letters? I don’t get it. </p>
<p>Then again, I can’t imagine sharing my kids letters (except what I highlighted at the start of this thread) with any friends, classmates, whatever. I also can’t imagine my son sharing his either - he doesn’t believe in announcing grades, test scores, ACT’s - whatever.</p>
<p>I assume the idea behind the secrecy is that a recommendation can be written more freely and honestly if the writer knows that neither the subject nor his/her family and peers will be privy to what is written. For this same reason, a confidential recommendation, when positive, ought to carry more weight with the admissions offices than an open one. Of course that last part depends on the assumption that adcoms will know which schools do and don’t let students see their recommendations, and I have no idea whether or not that’s the case.</p>
<p>Well, I had my first experience with a non-confidential recommendation tonight. We had asked the music theory teacher at the school where my son takes private lessons to write a rec to support the arts side of his application. She gave us a look at it before she sent it, and I will admit I got a bit verklempt. In the “chicken soup for the soul” department there are few things as good as reading sincere and thoughtful praise of your child from one of his teachers.</p>
<p>Count me in the group who thinks this is yet another area in which so many inequities exist. All my children’s LOR were confidential–most students never see them. In fact, one college wanted all of D’s application documents sent together in one large envelope, and her teacher would not agree to give her his letter in a sealed and signed envelope. He wanted to send it directly. That made me a little worried, I have to admit.</p>
<p>Anyway, the GC does not go over these letters, so spelling and grammar errors, as well as factual inaccuracies, will stay there. Knowing D’s counselor, it’s not as though he’d recognize an error if he saw one, so no loss there.</p>
<p>S once had the opportunity to see a LOR given to him for a scholarship application, but after the teacher had already submitted the same letter to colleges. S was very unhappy with it. He knew it was weak given his stellar performance in the class, what the teacher had commented to him about being one of the best in her career, and his overall outstanding performance in the department. But a few months later the story came out. The teacher’s son attended the same high school and was the same age. My S knew that, but never thought anything of it because he didn’t think the teacher’s son was elite school caliber (he wasn’t), and also was likely to be looking at very different colleges since he was interested in science and engineering whereas S was a liberal arts kid. Anyway, my S was wrong. We found out later the teacher’s kid was applying to many of the same colleges as S. Worse, the teacher actually told my S that she was proud of herself because she wrote him a fair letter despite the fact that she knew he’d be competing with her own son and was tempted not to do so. Hmm, I’d say she definitely didn’t succeed in curbing her ambition for her son…</p>
<p>I think abasket’s post is a good example of why applicants are better off when they can see their letters. Like abasket’s son, my daughter ended up getting more letters than she needed – later she was able to choose which letters to send to which colleges. In her case, one college insisted that one of the letters be from a math or science teacher – and there was a fairly new chemistry teacher at her school who was eager to write a letter for her --but science is not her strong suit and the letter was nice, but not helpful. By that I mean it was fairly generic – it didn’t hurt her, but there certainly was no point sending it to other colleges that did not specifically want a science-teacher-letter. </p>
<p>I think a good teacher can write a candid, truthful letter about a student without being negative. I’ve seen all the letters my kids’ teachers wrote, and I think the best ones did a good job of portraying something about their personalities, and they focused on their strengths using specific examples. </p>
<p>I’d also note that my kids attended public schools – and they had some excellent letters. I don’t think the colleges care whether the letter is a work of great literature – they want information that helps them get a better picture of the student’s interests, talents & personality.</p>
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<p>Glorious. :)</p>
<p>A somewhat different fiasco we’re dealing with now is the saga of the teacher recs that seem to have vanished into thin air. One college didn’t receive either teacher rec in time for an early scholarship deadline; both teachers said they’d sent them 2 weeks early. Another college still hasn’t received either rec; this will delay the admission decision until after Jan 1, which means S has to apply to all of his backup colleges that have Jan 1 RD deadlines (and I have to pay the application fees). Both teachers said they’d sent the recs 2 weeks ago. A third college hasn’t received either rec (sent out by both teachers in the same batch as college #2). A fourth college doesn’t show either rec having been received on their online status; I’m too discouraged to have S call at this point.</p>
<p>In all cases DS supplied the teachers with large envelopes with the correct address for each admissions office, all with 3 first-class stamps.</p>
<p>I knew I should have included a self-addressed postcard in each envelope to confirm receipt. I did this last year with DS1. Me: “Everything worked out fine last year, what could possibly go wrong this year?” [smacks forehead]</p>