<p>How do you know if a reference has suddenly gone sour on you? Is mind-reading and inference enough? How do you get rid of a bad reference if they have already enthusiastically agreed to write one and are likely to speak to the admissions committees (personal friends) at some point and, therefore, hear if you didn't submit their letter. Would someone write a luke-warm letter based on non-academic issues if they have already promised a very strong recommendation? What about the same situation if they are aware that your academic and personal performance in their program was stellar and comes across as such on paper--does that tie their hands at all? What if they have another student (who hasn't ****ed them off) applying to a few of the same programs? This does not seem like a great situation. Oh, this person is a fourth reference. Not actually required for all schools (but as I said, likely to find out if his letter is not submitted). And, yes, I know that I shouldn't have gotten myself into the situation. It is surprising how hard it can be to predict someone's reactions after knowing them for two years...</p>
<p>Letters of recommendation often do address issues of "character," so issues that are not strictly academic may well be discussed in the letter. But it's just hard to tell--depends on the situation and the people involved.</p>
<p>Thanks for the response. A clarification: the character issue is not the sort of thing one could objectively mention in a letter. I.e. a feeling of personal rejection is not something one share's with one's colleagues. I'm more concerned with the tenor of the letter, a certain coldness that leaves the reader thinking what they will... That happens, right?</p>
<p>why would a professor tell you that he/she would write a strong letter for you, and then write a negative one??? i would think that they would tell you up front that they dont know you enough or some bullcrap like that</p>
<p>Well, professors are human (mostly :-)). Their letters sound more enthusiastic when they think the world of you in all respects. And they sound less enthusiastic when you've somehow disappointed them. Still, if your academics are sound and you haven't done anything objectively bad (cheating, etc.), the letter will likely be fine.</p>
<p>Sorry for the belated thank you. Very helpful. In the end, said professor simply neglected to write the letter. So I guess the problem is solved. Good thing I had alternate back up letters on file, right?</p>