<p>The implicit assumption in these kinds of discussions always seems to be that younger is better. In my experience though, parents of boys rarely put their younger-sided boys in kindergarten early unless it’s clear that the child would be bored silly otherwise. Those children tend to continue to excel, take advanced classes, etc. At my son’s prep school, that’s the case as well; he has many grademates who are almost a full year younger than him who do as well as or better than he does academically. So I’m not convinced that those hidden stats. would reveal much in terms of unfair advantage academically</p>
<p>wcmom: I see your point about athletics, but I guess I’d say that there are trade-offs. My kid, for example, is beginning to compete on a national level, where things are much more tightly tied to birth years rather than grades. Since he’s on the older side of his grade because of a summer birthday, and didn’t get involved in his sport until prep school, he now has a much more limited time to compete than your son. He also points out the teams they compete against during the regular season that fall apart at national level competition because those 19+ year old students are disqualified. So I’d say the relative advantage/disadvantage varies by sport.</p>
<p>The larger question I’d like to raise is not whether the playing field is fair, but whether we are pushing academics on children–boys especially–too young. This is addressed, if I’m remembering correctly–in Boys Adrift. And in my own experience as an active volunteer in a kindergarten and now first grade classroom, my heart hurts for the many, many bright little boys who are getting a troublemaker stigma attached to them simply because they are not ready for the kind of seatwork required of them. When my homeschooled boys were little, they did about an hour of seatwork a day–with another hour or two curled up on the couch reading or listening to books–and that was more than enough. I was also glad to give them more time to run and bike and throw the ball in the backyard before they became immersed in organized athletics. </p>
<p>So another argument is that those older students should be the rule in any grade, and the younger the exception.</p>
<p>Classicalmama, I don’t necessarily disagree, but would again draw attention to age spans. Since we started out in public school there are specific birthday/age guidelines that are increasingly ignored. I really don’t know what this all would look like for us if we had always been in private schools. My son was academically more than ready for kindergarten and technically he was at the younger end, but still within the 12-month range for the school district. What we have witnessed is parents of boys who are well beyond the 12-month recommended age range for a grade holding their boys back for competitive advantage without regard for developmental readiness. While it was clear to us that our son was probably unusual in his academic readiness, we were still respectful of the system that was in place to prevent a 13-24 month range that could impact the classroom and other kids. Having parents decide what the age range should be without consult only feeds into an increasingly hyper-competitive environment.</p>
<p>Yes, we don’t disagree about parents who choose to hold their academically ready sons back purely for athletic reasons. Our son, too, is within the 12-month age range, just on the other end, and that has been a good fit for him academically as well as athletically. We don’t have any of the kind of holding back you’re describing going on in our school system–but it’s a small school in the boonies, and I suppose parents with that kind of mindset would quickly move on to greener pastures. </p>
<p>Still, in my daughter’s class, where students have only been held back for academic reasons (with the oldest kids often remaining the weakest readers), the range of skill level is enormous, with first graders leaving the class with everything from a mid-1st to a sixth grade reading level. I think most of that difference smooths out by fourth grade. So in our case at least, the wide variety of skill level has more to do with innate readiness than age. </p>
<p>And I do still wonder if some of those poor parental choices aren’t made easier by the increased emphasis on early literacy and seatwork in schools, along with decreased recess and physical education classes–hard particularly on those more physical little boys. But I can see how you have felt squeezed between a rock and a hard place.</p>
<p>I have appreciated the discussion on this thread and would appreciate info from anyone who knows how BS financial aid packages are affected if at all by the fact an applicant is applying as a repeat freshman. (In this case, reasons are due to weak public school preparation, and athletics – an injury keeping the student sidelined for 6 months).</p>
<p>They aren’t going to be affected. Boarding schools look at repeating differently than public and other private schools. Many students repeat. If you came from a weak background it might be seen as a positive. You’ll have time to grow into the experience.</p>
<p>You wouldn’t be alone in that decision. Don’t fret about it. It’s more common than you think.</p>
<p>My DD asked to repeat 9th grade at boarding school. For her it was because she really wanted to have a 4 yr experience at boarding school and not be the new kid starting in 10th grade. (her previous school ended after 9th grade and she wanted to finish there) I think every parent considers red-shirting for a different reason. Ultimately, you do it because you believe it is the right thing for your child. My daughter is thriving and we couldn’t be happier with our decision to let her repeat.</p>
<p>I have a DS that repeat his Freshman year and is an athlete. The benefits academically are priceless. He is able to adjust to BS life while not being underwater in his classes. To me it’s a ++. He has a later B-Day, so to me it leveled the playing field.</p>
<p>Colleges don’t care, they will take the best fit for their incoming freshman class. It could even be a 24 year old, fresh off a Middle East battlefield. Age means nothing.</p>
<p>Is repeating mostly done for athletic purposes or for academic purposes also? How do you account for what happened during the year that was repeated on college applications?</p>
<p>My child repeated Kindergarten. He has a summer birthday, and most of his friends were born in the fall; since the cut-off in our state is Sept 1, I held him back. It wasn’t for academic or athletic reasons, it was so he would have some time to mature socially and emotionally, that’s all. There’ve been times when I’ve considered moving him ahead, but having watched my niece and nephew who are a year, and six months older than he is, and two grades ahead of him,( both of whom come from intact families with many resources) struggle in different ways in very competitive school environments, I think I did the right thing.</p>
<p>An extra year of school won’t make up for the fact that he’s grown up without a father, and although he knows he’s there are other kids whose situations are far worse, it’s hard to be a boy growing up without a male role model in the house. The reality of my son’s circumstances and his understanding of them has come into focus now that he’s an adolescent. The thought that he has an edge, or advantage over anyone else, apart from his natural attributes, now, or going forward is preposterous. Life isn’t fair; the playing field will never be level; some people learn this earlier than others, usually not by choice. </p>
<p>No one’s childhood is perfect, no matter how it looks from the outside. If you’re on this forum, it’s likely you have much to be grateful for.</p>
<p>Does anyone know how the application process to BS for a prospective repeat high schooler works? Probably 10th grade. Does the applicant take the admissions tests as a 9th grader? I am curious because I think the ISEE test uses school grade when determining percentiles. If anyone has insight into how one would go about applying to repeat please share your wisdom.</p>
<p>The SSAT and ISEE get normalized for the grade you’re currently in, regardless of whether you’re repeating or not. When you apply to repeat, you just mark the grade you’re applying for on the application for the individual schools-- it has nothing to do with the standardized tests. Then you’ll discuss the idea of repeating with the admissions officer during your interview. But, again, if you’re taking the test in 10th grade, planning to repeat, you’ll be compared to other current 10th graders of your gender for the SSAT or ISEE.</p>
<p>My child applied as a repeat student this application cycle and the process wasn’t any different than applying as a non repeater (child had applied previous application cycle). The only confusion was the SSAT. When you register and when your child sits for the test, you have to select a grade. We were unsure whether we should mark the current grade (9) or the grade lower (8). Talked to SSAT staff - they said ask the schools you are applying to. Talked to private middle school headmaster, she said ask schools you are applying to. We asked at a few and were told to use the lower grade on the SSAT forms because that’s the child’s application class. We registered child as an 8th grader and they checked 8th grade box on test day. My guess is percentiles would have been slightly lower if we chose higher class. Child applied to 7 schools and no one has questioned that choice.</p>
<p>Our experience has been that repeating is looked upon positively and is common. Last year, an AO told us that the captain of every male sports team was a repeat. At another school, an AO told us that if classes were stack ranked based on birthday, the top 15% would be boys because of the frequency of boys repeating. </p>
<p>If repeating is the best choice for your child, I wouldn’t worry about any stigma at least at the BS level. What your hometown friends and neighbors say is probably another story. I’ll tell you how that goes if child has good news on 3/10!</p>
<p>PSM2013, thank you for sharing your experiences with the tests. What you did is what I would have guessed to do as well, so I appreciate your confirmation.</p>
<p>We are at the early stages of considering BS and possibly a repeat year, and stigma is something we have thought about, so thank you as well for your perspectives on that. We are late in considering this as a possible option, so we would be talking about repeating 10th grade since we already missed the current application cycle. We are trying to keep an open mind and to see if it would be a good idea for DD and to start by visiting schools. She is a late fall birthday girl who is a late bloomer too, so fitting in with the younger class would probably work well, especially without all of her local peers around her to make her feel left back. Shocking how much she has evolved since just starting 9th grade about 6 months ago. I suppose much of the change has been brought on by adolescence. </p>
<p>Do you know much about Thacher and whether they are as open to repeaters as other BS’s are? DD has fallen in love with Thacher’s website, so it is first on our list to go visit.</p>
<p>Thanks again to you and the others who responded. Best of luck to all of your children. Please keep us posted!</p>
<p>jmoran: If you use the search feature on these boards, you will find many detailed discussions on this topic. Bottom line is that colleges do not view it negatively. So many preps repeat, it’s just not an issue. The type of repeating discussed here has nothing to do with remediation and everything to do with better prep for college, and colleges like that.</p>
<p>It’s not remediation because these kids aren’t repeating classes-- in fact, they’re usually taking very advanced courses by their senior (5th) year. From the colleges’ perspective, they’re more prepared and often more advanced, both academically and athletically, so of course colleges are happy with that. Is it “unfair?” Well, it’s true most people can’t afford an extra year of prep school, but I guess that’s true of a lot of things–private school of any sort (including for the regular 4 years), special programs, coaches, camps, music teachers, travel, etc. Whether FP or on FA, most of the kids on these boards are lucky, when compared to lots of kudos in the world. But I’m not sure that’s really “unfair.” In my experience, kids who repeat tend to be either very wealthy, faculty kids (who don’t pay much), or else kids on a LOT of FA. The rest probably can’t really afford the extra year.</p>