<p>My son is applying to 9th grade at several schools, and is young for his grade. While he is doing fine academically at his highly rated public school, we are starting to be concerned about him adjusting to a more rigorous curriculum next year. Should we look at him repeating 8th grade at a private school (which he does not want to do). We have read that many children in these schools are repeating a year. In addition many of the posts on this forum seem to come from highly gifted children and while he is bright, he has not received a perfect SSAT score, been elected king of the universe or discovered the cure for the common cold.... at 13 : )
The admissions people we have spoken with say they do not look for the top scores, grades necessarily, they look for nice kids who are motivated and they will steer them to the appropriate classes and the small class sizes allow for more personal attention. I was even at an open house where the dean of admissions told the mother of one applicant who had moved frequently that stellar ec's weren't necessary either. They are building a 'class' of kids with varying skills/talents. </p>
<p>I am getting off topic, but want to help my son make the best decision going forward, and would appreciate your experience.</p>
<p>My d began bs this past fall as a new sophomore. Initially, I knew nothing about “repeating”. I thought is was a great idea seeing that my d was very young for her class, coming from a different environment, yet profoundly gifted. My d was totally against it, she is a kid. I saw repeating as a chance to have 4 years at a bs and she would be older upon graduation. </p>
<p>Upon applying, I let each school know that repeating would not be a problem and would work for us. The schools informed us that they didnt feel my d needed it. (She did not have a perfect SSAT nor cured cancer-lol).</p>
<p>In turn we first considered a SYA (school year abroad) in high school, but my d doesnt want to be away from her classmates or campus. She is now seriously considering a gap year (after hs graduation but before beginning college). Her bs just had someone come and speak about graduates going to Africa to mentor high school students. My d was extremely interested and excited.</p>
<p>My point, there are a lot of options for the type of child you have. Feel free to ask more questions and do more research. </p>
<p>As a wonderful teacher told me 11 years ago, when I was debating on putting my kid 4.5 year old on a school bus for 4 hours a day for kindergarten…</p>
<p>“it isnt prison, if it doesnt work, take her out”</p>
<p>My take now…see what happens and take out the tuition insurance. </p>
<p>Just one perspective…our son has a late summer birthday, but is both physically and emotionally mature for his age, so we always pushed him ahead at home However, we had him enter bs on the older, rather than younger, end of things, and we haven’t regretted that decision. BS was a bigger leap than any of us expected, mostly in terms of difficulty in leaving family). Is your son athletic? The increased level of competition in sports at his bs is another reason we’re happy he’s on the older side of things (albeit a secondary reason).</p>
<p>Still, I guess I can see why he wouldn’t want to repeat 8th grade at homl–do any of the schools he applied to have an eighth grade class? </p>
<p>As far as the highly gifted kid thing goes…my kid goes to Exeter and does very well academically, but I’ve never considered him “brilliant” or “gifted”–just an intelligent hard-working, disciplined kid. His opinion, too, is that the secret to getting A’s in any school is just that you “have to want it,” not that you’re necessarily more brilliant than the guy sitting next to you. </p>
<p>I suppose that if I’d had to fight for years to get my kids into “gifted” classes just to be sure they’d be reasonably stimulated in school, I’d be quicker to label my child that way. In our house, though, we reserve the word gifted for kids who play with the BSO when they’re ten or miserably fail at elementary school and then go on to develop the theory of relativity. </p>
<p>Anyway, I think the reasons to repeat might have more to do with physical and emotional readiness than intellectual preparedness…though I’d say that having classes that review familiar material may help make that overall adjustment easier.</p>
<p>I, too, have similar concerns about my son, also applying for 9th grade (though he is not young for his grade) handling a more rigorous curriculum. He has done fine in a private day school, but has to work quite a bit harder to achieve what may be easy for others his age. After a good deal of preparation, he did just fine on SSAT, nothing earth shattering. We were very careful to ask at our BS visits how teachers handled kids that might initially struggle in a new environment or with different expectations. Most BS’s we were looking at (not top tier, but well known schools) expressed how supportive teachers can be in the BS environment that we need to take into consideration. On the other hand, a couple of schools made it clear that their school would would not be the right fit for those who may need more one on one work. I was appreciative knowing that early on. We’ve considered repeating, but decided not to mainly because our son is socially mature beyond many of his peers, gets along well with adults, and has been excited about BS for years. He will make it work through his sheer will to be there. I’m not the best to give you a current BS experience, but my reply is meant to give you encouragement that your son has done well to get to this point, and if he’s interested in going to BS, he will make it work.</p>
<p>He is athletic and physically and emotionally ready, it is really the curriculum we are thinking about. I have mentioned my concerns to admissions folks and usually get a response that it will be fine. I guess I need to just stop reading about the superstars who post on this forum : )</p>
<p>You know your kid best and should trust your own judgement. And yeah, I wouldn’t worry too much–there are kids with various levels of past experience, native ability, and work ethic everywhere. </p>
<p>The best piece of academic advice I got–from a mom whose son had just graduated from Andover–was to follow the school’s advice about placement; her kids was always pushing to get into more advanced classes and often struggled academically as a result. My son took two classes this fall that were largely review, but there was so much to get used to just in the style of teaching, that we were grateful he wasn’t simultaneously struggling with brand new content. More importantly, both have gone from being his least favorite subjects at home to…well maybe not most favorite but classes he genuinely likes.</p>
<p>Apl–shortly after finding this forum, I stopped looking at the chance section. It seemed unrealistic to say the least.</p>
<p>I agree with classicalmama, you know your kid best and working with the schools you will find the right balance.</p>
<p>As a former home-schooler and teacher by profession, who has a very low opinion of the concept of grades, it surprises me how well my bs d is doing. I still believe that she is after the love of the material not the grade. She is loving the stimulation of her teachers and classmates as she is learning.</p>
<p>My brutally honest opinion: Do not do it against your son’s wishes. If he is academically fine now, he will be academically fine in 9th grade. If you force him to stay in 8th grade against his wishes, he may lose his motivation. Remember, he has to live with this decision for life.</p>
<p>Do agree with Dakshina. Whatever solution you decide on has to be one that works for your child. </p>
<p>That said, things may naturally evolve & you may end up considering other options as well. For example, he could repeat 8th and do 9th at a junior boarding school. Many go through 9th grade. Then he could start at a secondary school (boarding or otherwise) for 10th. We’ve found that JBS is very supportive of the kids - I would guess more so than BS, since the kids are generally younger.</p>
<p>apl, I confess to not having read this entire thread. I have read your first post. My thought is not to repeat 8th grade. Not enough happens in 8th grade to warrant repeating, especially when a student is doing well, but more importantly, there is a more natural solution: repeat a grade upon entry into a new school. In your boarding school scenario, repeat 9th.</p>
<p>The feeling of being just a little more mature than one’s peers is priceless, in class, on the field, in social circles. There is a stigma to repeating in public school for understandable reasons. The job of a parent is to help their son or daughter see that there is absolutely zero stigma to “repeating” a grade upon entry into boarding school. It’s an entirely different world in that regard. I suspect the schools actually like the prospect of repeats in most instances. And the coaches surely don’t mind, but that’s secondary. Public school kids won’t understand this at first without parent guidance.</p>
<p>Boarding school is a very special place, perhaps even more special than one’s college experience at any college, and you want to soak up as much of it as you can. Being a little more mature helps a student soak up more of the experience, especially where a student would otherwise be young for the grade.</p>
<p>Like Classicalmama, our son has a late summer birthday, is young for his grade, but is physically and academically advanced. However, once he read Malcolm Gladwell’s “Outliers” he had no problem with the idea of a repeating a year.</p>
<p>Classicalmama- I agree that the term “gifted” is more of a public school thing- certainly almost every student at my kids’ school would be labeled “gifted” at home, scoring at the 98th percentile or higher on state tests. “Profoundly gifted” is a term that I would use for the student taking BC Calculus as a freshman, and then having to go to Yale on the bus for the rest of their math courses LOL; not the average top prep school kid taking Honors Physics in 9th grade.</p>
<p>My daughter is a year younger than her peers. I wouldn’t recommend repeating. You could consider holding him home for 9th grade and applying for 10th. There’s a significant maturity leap that happens in the first year of high school. We are not sad that she had that extra year to incubate. She’s holding her own and the age difference has become moot.</p>
<p>If you’re concerned, - or you believe your chances are better due to more spots at a BS - then have him apply as a repeat 9th grader.</p>
<p>But I think repeating the 8th grade is not a good use of time especially since Boarding schools have so many more course options that allow students to adjust to where they need to be, compared to schools at home.</p>
<p>Bay- I would have to believe that “gifted” is a term used in the inner city public school system. It is a term that I admit bothers a lot of people and is over used in many situations. </p>
<p>But I take offense to your statement that “almost all the kids at your kid’s school would be labeled as gifted at home”. There are many areas of giftedness and a 98% on an in-grade state test is not used as one of the measurements. </p>
<p>Classicial-You not “labeling” your child as brilliant or gifted is a term that you have decided not to use some of us have decided that is the correct term to refer to our kids. I will agree, getting into Exeter does not deem one gifted. There are many hard working, motivated students attending great schools. There are just as many great students who choose not to take the same road. Harvard, Yale, etc is not the dream of all, but I believe that there are many “gifted” kids at these schools also. My kid was one of those children who were offered a space in a top college in grammar school, but I felt it was not what we wanted for her. She is also a kid who declined Exeter to attend a school that we felt was a better fit. </p>
<p>Giftedness is not based on grades or in-grade test scores, or what a parent thinks at home. It is based on a battery of test taken and evaluated over a period of time. A high IQ is not a guarantee of great grades or “greatness” in the eyes of the world. </p>
<p>Sorry if this seems like a rant. But when others speak of something/someone without first hand knowledge it just reminds me of all I had to fight for so that my daughter could be properly educated. I do not use the term gifted lightly, but correctly when it comes to my d’s situation.</p>
<p>Wow, I guess that word is really a hot button. Maybe I should have uses the word “accomplished” instead when referring to some of the stats of these children. ; )</p>
<p>I often wonder however, why no one is sensitive when a child is called a gifted athlete, the sensitivity usually shows only when the word is used in reference to intellect. Perhaps that is just a reflection of what our society values and why we continue to lag academically.</p>
<p>I found it puzzling to see a sign in a school my child attended that said “No one of us is as smart as all of us.” There were no signs that said “No football player is as athletic as all of us.” </p>
<p>I am the first to admit there are people more ‘gifted/accomplished’ intellectually than I am just as there are people more athletic than I. I want there to be smart people in the world who are admired for their intellect and encouraged to develop it, that can only benefit the rest of us. It’s been my experience that raising the bar benefits everyone.</p>
<p>Wow, it certainly does seem to be a hot button word. I’m guessing, also, that there are regional differences. My children WERE formally “identified” based on their state test scores. But, they didn’t receive any services, which is one reason they went to prep school. Aren’t we lucky to have private options for our students!</p>
<p>Alex: I was trying to make your point, though I may have understated it: if I had had to put my kid through a battery of tests to prove his “giftedness” so that he could be properly educated in the public school system, than I’d be more likely to see the importance and utility of the word. Since we made the choice early on to homeschool, we were able to avoid all labels–gifted for one, learning disabled for another–for which I was grateful. (And yes, you’re right that it’s just guesswork on my part that either of those labels would have been applied to either child. I’ve been an educator for a long time, so I think my guesses might not be complete fluff, but point taken.)</p>
<p>As an English teacher, I’m very aware of how important words are in affecting perception, how they can box some children in and others out, give opportunity to some and rob it from others. That’s why we try to avoid them as much as possible in our house–it’s actually one of the main reasons we chose to homeschool. But I guess if we did use a label, we’d follow in Edison’s footsteps and label genius as 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration…and then tell our kids they haven’t sweated enough yet.</p>
<p>(Guess I have a little Chinese mother in me after all!)</p>
<p>Looking at summer camp brochures, I was amused to see that scoring in the top 10% on certain nationally tests certified students as “highly gifted.” By that standard, many boarding school students are gifted and highly gifted. </p>
<p>I’d like to return to the original topic. I admit I skimmed Outliers, but I had the impression that the hockey player discussion was an example of an early advantage persisting. The oldest beginning players were more likely to be placed in advanced groups and travel teams, and thus to receive more playing time and attention. I don’t think that concept can be extended to adolescents entering high school. For example, if a boy tests in the mid 80s on the SSAT, that means he performs better than 80% of the boys applying to boarding school. Can one expect an enormous improvement by repeating a year? He may do better in courses he’s taking for the second time–but that bump in performance may not continue into the next year’s courses. And then, he might look like an A student who slacked off after freshman year.</p>
<p>If admissions officers have told you he is ready to start 9th grade next year, I’d take them at their word. If your concerned about a misalignment of academic standards, some boarding schools run summer sessions. Try Exeter’s summer session, for example, as it would allow him to get a feel for the expectations placed on students in prep schools.</p>
<p>In my opinion, maturity is a double-edged sword. Temperament doesn’t change over time, so I don’t think we parents can expect an extra year to render our sons more conscientious. If your son fits within the usual age parameters for his grade, making him repeat will make him old for his grade. A boy who is old for his grade may chafe under restrictions appropriate for younger students–study halls, early check-ins, less freedom to arrange his schedule. A freshman who can drive may find it unfair to not be allowed to drive. A senior as old as college sophomores may yearn to be granted the same freedoms a college sophomore enjoys.</p>