We didn’t visit Deerfield, but if you’ve done zooms, watched their videos, delved into the website, it was exactly as imagined. Only better.
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That’s the one good thing that came out of COVID.
I will have 2 kids choosing without revisit days (or visiting the campuses) - it just wasn’t feasible from where we are based overseas. So they are relying on gut instinct and informal chats with school officials and for me chats with friends who have seen the campuses in person.
Sometimes the school vibe is clear from interactions with students or faculty who take the time to answer questions
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I personally found revisits to be incredibly important to my school choice—in fact, I had almost chosen Peddie over Lawrenceville due to my respective experiences at both schools.
This might be bad advice (as I’ve not been in such a situation for a long time), but maybe revisit at the school that you’re leaning against? That way, you can get more information on it, and who knows—you might find that you’re enamored with the one that you previously thought wasn’t as good of a fit for you.
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My son and I did the Deerfield revisit. They gave nice presentations, plus a formal sit-down dinner for the parents. It was held in the squash courts, and the kids ate with other students. They also had a nice reception, and we got a chance to meet with our admissions rep. Andover also had a nice revisit day. The admissions people were all very nice and friendly. It was a good chance to talk to students and get a sense of what the schools are like.
If you can only pick one – go to the school where your child has the most doubts. This might help address some unanswered questions.
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This is good advice and partly why I’m leaning towards Exeter as a visit. I feel like DA is already a good fit. I know I will be missing a good meal, but we have zoomed, watched videos, spoken with faculty, etc.
Exeter is a question mark. Will he think it’s a pressure cooker and hate it? Or will he meet kids and teachers who spark his mind and say “this is it”.
Again, I will miss the meal at Deerfield! Something tells me it will be delicious.
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If you haven’t already done so, ask the school to connect you with a parent with a child that shares something in common with your son that matters to him. Whatever it is… I think most schools will accommodate this.
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Will have to give this some more thought. Thank you for all the suggestions!
Are you not leaning towards the helpful friendly schools that reached out to make sure you were able to revisit? I agree that admissions is still running the show but we found that the admissions vibe very clearly mirrored the vibe of the school. I’d want my kid going to a helpful school, not a school that didn’t care whether or not we could attend revisit days.
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Could you go to one revisit day and then just get a standard tour of the other the next day (or the day before)? It might not be an official revisit, but a tour with a student guide might give you and your child enough information to make an educated decision.
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@one1ofeach We are visiting the most accommodating schools, yes! But there is one day in between when we could swing by one of the other two while we are already up north and I was leaning towards Exeter on that day.
@kschretz Is this something they do on regular days? The pushback on changing a revisit day and other communications made me feel no accommodations would be considered. I have been quite taken aback, to be honest.
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Well, in the fall schools run a ton of such tours. It would make no sense for them to refuse one.
Nice to have such great choices - congrats!
Both are great schools, but very different campuses and locations. I would do my best to at least see both campuses. Deerfield is fairly remote and PEA is in a classic NE town.
Is there no way to at least drive past both? That would give your son at least an idea of the environment.
But didn’t you want a less stressful school than Andover? (Am I wrong that you have an older daughter there?) Exeter isn’t any less stressful or more supportive than Andover (imo) and Deerfield is maybe baaaarely so.
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I don’t see why they wouldn’t do it - especially if it’s not on a revisit day. Tell them you can’t make it to revisit but would like a tour. Honestly, if they say no, that would be telling to me and would probably put the school lower on my list.
Good luck!
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They are not important at all unless the student is truly on the fence about their preferred choice or has a critical show stopping issue they want to address. Definitely don’t feel any pressure to attend them.
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If I have a daughter, I don’t know about her! 
I do have an unusual kid, so I feel like seeing what he responds to in person is important. Maybe Harkness is his thing, maybe a rural area is his thing, I really don’t know. He surprises me constantly.
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If you’re on FA they’ll find money for you to fly in. ESPECIALLY schools like EA and Deerfield.
As a COVID admit, I will say that I was in the same boat as you-- I didn’t visit any campuses when I applied, and I was not able to travel when I did get accepted into my schools. I was deciding between LC and Peddie (which I know is not DA and EA) but I just kinda went with my gut. I do think though that a lot of the times you do have to go on campus and walk around to really understand the “vibe”. I certainly wished I could when I was accepted.
I think also being on campus gives you a real look at everything. Sure, the photos and pamplets and pdfs may seem great, but irl it’s completely different. I literally thought LC was a huge school until I actually moved in and realized, well, it wasn’t. Some things like that just need to be witnessed physically, and I think that’s why revisit days are there: to allow people to get a true look before they commit there for their next 4 years
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@citivas
This is for highschool revisits, not college, so a different animal altogether.
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