The notion of being “privileged” replaces an older idea of being “blessed” or fortunate. If a person believes they are fortunate or blessed, they are humbled by a sense of gratitude. But telling a person they are privileged leads only to guilt and shame, both of which are toxic emotions to foist on children.
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With noting that the Harvard data set had two of the six years during which Harvard didn’t offer applicants an EA option. So, if higher-than-average students apply early, this data set compared students who applied EA in the four years it was available to students in the other two years who otherwise would have selected EA had it been available but are characterized in the data as “RD” applicants.
In other words, the assessment of the statistical advantage for EA at Harvard is at best overstated, and at worst just unreliable.
Also, Harvard and Yale differ from many other schools in blatantly claiming there is no statistical advantage applying early - even though that’s hard to believe and the advantage might simply be felt in the RD round, reflecting a yield judgement.
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Well said.
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They get in. They are an easy win for the college. Verifiable academic preparedness and meet institutional goals.
There are Questbridge finalists at most of these schools.
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I don’t understand the mentality that privileged people must not be made aware of there privilege, else their feelings will be hurt. It seems like a the-emperor-has-no-clothes scenario.
Teaching our children about privilege can also lead to gratitude, humility and empathy. As importantly, it is reality, so it also leads to a more accurate understanding of how the world works.
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All are valid points but I think what people are trying to express is that it feels like there is also a narrative that if you happen to be white, have grown up with food on your table, attended a wealthy public or private schools, your hard work and accomplishments are not worthy somehow.
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I think that is the common mantra pushed by pundits who are looking to shut down any discussion about how circumstance impacts opportunity, but I don’t think it reflects the reality of how such things are taught. And I think wealthy white kids who attend great schools can manage to learn how the world works while still maintaining their self-esteem.
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@George2013 , if you are interested in this topic, you might enjoy the book “privileged poor”. It’s about precisely this group. There’s more to the book than this, but a key takeaway is that they radically outperform their counterparts who did not have the benefit of 4 years at Andover or Hotchkiss (and all that involves, including figuring out how to navigate those communities socially. )
My son had BS classmates who had been homeless, who were refugees, and who had a whole host of issues that made just having gotten to BS rather remarkable. Yet I do understand the grumbling here as well.
We are definitely privileged. We aren’t ultra wealthy but certainly better off than many. Because kids from that background have access to a lot, it can detract from the work required to achieve. Sure, it’s really hard -almost impossible - for a kid with little money to buy the ice time and coaching and become a top figure skater. But nobody disputes that Nathan Chen has worked really hard to achieve what he has. Parents of kids who are privileged witness their kids’ work and effort. The kid that has an expensive, effective ACT tutor can easily get a 34 or higher. The privileged kid who doesn’t get the tutor and gets a 36 is assumed to have had the help privilege can buy, even if he didn’t have it. It’s definitely frustrating, even if that score was “lifted” by a good education along the way, a stable home life, and the natural enrichment that’s part of that kid’s life.
It can be hard to handle this with grace when it’s your kid. But also remember that the “bad” outcome for your kid is sooo much better than the “bad” outcome for a kid with nobody to fall back on. We’re all doing our best.
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Here’s the Questbridge partners - lots of really great names on there for sure, though Harvard isn’t one of them. I’ve wondered often why some equally as good schools don’t participate. Anyone know their reasoning?
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Weird, my parents and grandparents told me this my whole life and I’ve passed on the same thoughts to my own kids, yet we all turned out ok. Not even one iota of toxicity - just a lot of thankfulness and willingness to help out others who weren’t as fortunate.
Does it go along with being “snowflakes” for a certain segment of society?
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Unfortunately, the word has been weaponized by some. I have specifically worked with our kids to make sure that they know we, as a family, benefit from all the hard work that my wife and I have done. And, they know this from all the times one of us was traveling for work or staying up late into the night. We also tell them that too can benefit by working hard and being nice to others. So far, so good…
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Interesting discussion about privilege (and I definitely have my own thoughts on this given that I grew up without privilege but my daughter has grown up with).
But - this is all way off topic for this thread. So maybe have a separate thread to discuss privilege/lack thereof?
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That is the difference. It is okay to have a discussion within your family with your own children or grandchilden. It is something quite different when educators, activists, or strangers on a message board are comfortable telling or “teaching” others’ children they are privileged based simply on their opinion.
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Can’t see the difference myself TBH. I can look all around the world (and have looked around it IRL) and see all that my grandparents and parents gave me even though we were nowhere near the Top Whatever % in income.
I recall many times being told in school (and Sunday School) how fortunate we were compared to many other (non first world) countries.
It just leaves me thankful and wanting to help others.
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Yes. It’s absolutely necessary to have a discussion within your own family. But pushing someone else to accept the privilege line is just people who are out of line.
Most people in America are actually grateful and happy about what they have. At least the people I know. I tend not to surround myself with people who think that the grass is always greener for others.
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Which is what brings us back around to this thread when people think the grass is greener because others got accepted to colleges they also applied to and were waitlisted at or rejected from. 
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Full circle. Lots of complaints, some are happy, some are unhappy about outcomes. It’s just life. Luck. Hard work. Circumstances.
They are trying to ban books in lots of places. The reasoning might sound familiar to you . . .
A Texas state lawmaker is asking schools statewide to tell him whether they currently hold any of around 850 books on a list he has compiled, explaining that he is targeting materials that “might make students feel discomfort, guilt, anguish, or any other form of psychological distress because of their race or sex.”
No one is saying that they dictate outcomes. No one advocating for the absolution of all personal responsibility. These are red herrings promoted by those who, for whatever reason, are reluctant to accept that circumstances shape opportunities.
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Thankfulness and a willingness to help others are hallmarks of gratitude. It sounds like these values were instilled by your family … which is wonderful.
Might I remind members of the forum rules: “Our forum is expected to be a friendly and welcoming place, and one in which members can post without their motives, intelligence, or other personal characteristics being questioned by others."
and
“College Confidential forums exist to discuss college admission and other topics of interest. It is not a place for contentious debate. If you find yourself repeating talking points, it might be time to step away and do something else… If a thread starts to get heated, it might be closed or heavily moderated.”
http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/guidelines
As the recent posts have been dominated by a handful of users, I have put the thread on slow mode until morning. My hope is this will allow other users to join the conversation and prompt the more exuberant users to be strategic in postings.
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