So, my roommate likes it cold and I don’t. Whenever she’s in the room, she turns the air down. Whenever I’m in the room (alone, mine you), I turn the air up. I thought this was fine until she told me I wasn’t allowed to touch the thermostat anymore. It’s my room too, so I only make it warm when I’m in the room by myself, unlike her who turns the air really cold while I’m in there. Now, she left a passive-aggressive note telling me to stop turning the air up because she’s hot. I left a note saying it’s freezing in the room (61 degrees F), and that it’s my room too and she can’t tell me I’m not allowed to touch the thermostat. She freaked out. I talked with my RA. I didn’t want to make this a big blown out thing, but she crossed the line. What am I supposed to say to her to get her to understand my perspective and not only care about herself?
Ask the RA to help you reach a compromise you can both live with, say 68?
Typically it is at 68. I don’t know why they had it so cold tonight. Even 68 is freezing. They always keep the air below 70. In my house, we never turned the air below 72. I’m not used to it being so cold.
68 it what we keep our house at. Colder at night. Optimal sleep temperature is often reported to be between 61 and 67.
Agree something under 70 seems like a good compromise.
The two of you need to sit down with your RA and work this out. Arrange a meeting today…
what’s in your roommate agreement?
Agree on a medium temperature. Wear a sweater. Roommate uses a fan that blows on her side of the room. Problem solved. 68 is probably too hot, but 65 could be a good compromise. That’s quite comfortable when you wear proper clothing.
First of all, what is cold? Does she have it at 65? Or do you think 71 is cold? If the latter, You need to wear a sweatshirt.
Should be 70-72 in summer if you have A/C and 68-70 in winter.
It’s not just a roommate problem. I think my better half is trying to make it snow in the house. Wear a hat and gloves. They might get the message. 
61 is just too cold, and I’m from a northern climate.
AC is such a big fight among people…gawds, from an environmental standpoint, it’s completely nuts that everyone needs to be freezing or they’re miserable…i worry about raising a generation of kids who can’t handle any true weather (feeling warm when it’s summer, feeling cool when it’s winter) but instead simply artificial-create their own environments. Consumer Reports recommends 78 as the right temp for AC https://www.consumerreports.org/central-air-conditioners/best-setting-for-central-air-conditioning/
But i digress. The person who needs a arctic temp shouldn’t have more sway than the person who doesn’t want that. The good news is that unless you live in, say, Miami, there’s really only another 4 weeks or so where you’d need the AC anyway…do your windows open by any chance?
^The CR article suggests trying “82° F when you’re sleeping.” ??? That seems crazy. I could never sleep when it’s that warm.
LOL - my S is in a dorm with no AC and they have no independent control over the thermostat so this would not be a problem for them.
Their RAs did require a roommate contract where they agree to quiet hours, when visitors are allowed, what to share, etc. If you do not have one, it might be a good idea to negotiate a compromise and put it in writing.
Does your roommate have a medical condition? 61 is really cold! (Even for this middle aged, hot flashes every night, mom). My daughter is in a quad and it’s colder than she’d like so she’s been sleeping in sweats and has a big comforter on her bed but I think it’s like 68 in there. I would say between 68-72 should be a reasonable compromise.
And, FWIW, your roommate has no right to tell you not to touch your own room thermostat. Seems like an extreme reaction. This is SHARED space and she’s lucky you only turn up the heat when she isn’t there. Definitely time to add some ground rules to the roommate agreement. With the RA facilitating if necessary.
I’d say 68 is reasonable. Unless she has some documented medical condition, she may be able to live with that. You should be able to put on a fleece or sweatshirt as part of a compromise.
Huh? What? You pay tuition just like anyone else. Who raises these kids? Sorry, I’m no help, but I find your roommate to be ridiculous.
Maybe your roommate suffers from a thermoregulatory disorder.
Well, if my roommate kept turning the thermostat above 72, I’d tell her not to touch it too! Someone who is cold at 65 degrees can put on a sweater, but someone who is hot at 68 can’t do much more than walk around in her underwear. I’d be really mad if every time I came back to my room it was above 72 just because I wasn’t there my roommate thought it was okay to turn up the heat. I bet she the blasted the a/c to cool the room off.
Time for mediation by the RA
Compromise is in order. But, I’m not going to walk around with a parka in my own bedroom. As I mentioned above, the roommate may have a physiological issue that requires more A/C. It’s “googlable.” 
72-73 is normal room temperature; there’s no reason to be hot at that temperature. I do put on sweatshirts and wrap myself in blankets, but I’m still cold. Just like you can only take off so many layers, I can only put on so many layers. She has fans she can point on herself if she’s hot. It’s my room too. I only turn the air up when I’m in the room by myself. To be upset about coming back to a warm room when it takes only 10 minutes to cool down is unreasonable. And it’s just as maddening to come back to a freezing cold room where I can’t feel my fingers or toes. Also, to my knowledge, she has no medical condition that requires her to blast the AC. She just likes it cold for no reason.
I agree that someone saying you’re “not allowed” to touch the thermostat is ridiculous, assuming the other interprets that to mean they do get to set/change things. Together you need to come to an agreement about the minimum room temp, and then both keep your mits off the thermostat.
My daughter’s dorm doesn’t have a temperature setting on the room thermostats, just a scale from “colder” to “warmer.” These are difficult to reach - my 5’8" son with disproportionately long arms could barely reach it while standing on a stool. My daughter and her roommate are both under 5’3" - so unless each makes a tall friend with long arms, they most certainly have to come to an agreement on temperature and the live with it. In the scheme of things, that seems do-able.
There needs to be a compromise. My daughter does have a medical condition where she has a hard time tolerating hot temperatures. Her roommate liked the room warm. They had to compromise. My D was ok with it being too warm for her liking during the day if they could keep the room cooler at night. Her roomie agreed to put extra blankets on her bed at night. But my D never put the room at 61*. Even she would be cold at that temp!
She loved having a single sophomore year where she kept the room between 64-68.