@BktoNJ Nj parent here with ADD kid and also an NJ college professor. My DS had somewhat similar stats to your son and is now starting his third year of college. A large university would have been a disaster for my kid. You mentioned earlier that Rutgers would be a fallback . Between the campus bus and the very large classes and the impersonal vibe, my kid would’ve been overwhelmed there. I would advise that you add some smaller NJ state universities like Rowan/Monmouth/Ramapo to the in state fallbacks and look for something along those lines out of state. Some of the smaller SUNY schools, like SUNY New Paltz are priced competitively. Several have already mentioned various PA colleges.
I know OP does not want to share too much about her child, and so I would make some general comments about ADHD and college. My kid has accommodations and takes meds. Exams are still difficult, but he has managed to keep up decent grades. Important component is assessment of the student’s EF skills, since college is not as structured as high school. The disability services office was also something we checked out and was a consideration in choosing a university. One last thing - less selective colleges will have a lower 4-year graduation rate. Those numbers are aggregate and do not reflect factors such as academic prep, time management sklls, and financial issues . Aim for a college where your child’s stats put him comfortably in the top half.